Cyclo Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Hi Guys, I only really feel comfortable asking girls out that know me a little i.e. in the work place and at college. Unfortunately this has led to many problems when it doesn't work out as we still have to see each other. I can't help but develop strong feelings for one girl at a time and it takes months for me to move on. I try to show her that i'm over her, putting on a brave face, going about life as normal and having a laugh with friends, but inside I am hurting. I'm terrified that I may over hear her having a conversation with a friend about how great her new boyfriend is and what they get up to. I just want to get out of the room as fast as possible so I don't have to hear what her life is like with someone else in my place. Even with experiencing failed relationships/dates it doesn't get any more comfortable with each failure. I still feel the same. I know I get irrational but it's just so difficult to see a girl as just another one in a long line waiting for me. If any of you know how to brush a girl to one side and go on to the next then I would be grateful if you could share your way of thinking. I imagine a solution to this would be to date random girls, but I have absolutely know idea how to do this. Tried it once and got rejected in the blink of an eye. I think it's because I want the girl to know me a little so that we can both feel comfortable in each others company. Any advice much appreciated. Thanks
Soxfaninfl Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Try online dating. People are usually pretty clear in their profile's what they like and what are their interests. There is no pressure when your behind a computer screen. Get to know them via email first and then move to phone calls and see if it's worth meeting for a first date. At least online you know what they are looking for (marriage/kids, friendship or just casual dating).
jobaba Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Hi Guys, I only really feel comfortable asking girls out that know me a little i.e. in the work place and at college. Unfortunately this has led to many problems when it doesn't work out as we still have to see each other. I can't help but develop strong feelings for one girl at a time and it takes months for me to move on. I try to show her that i'm over her, putting on a brave face, going about life as normal and having a laugh with friends, but inside I am hurting. I'm terrified that I may over hear her having a conversation with a friend about how great her new boyfriend is and what they get up to. I just want to get out of the room as fast as possible so I don't have to hear what her life is like with someone else in my place. Even with experiencing failed relationships/dates it doesn't get any more comfortable with each failure. I still feel the same. I know I get irrational but it's just so difficult to see a girl as just another one in a long line waiting for me. If any of you know how to brush a girl to one side and go on to the next then I would be grateful if you could share your way of thinking. I imagine a solution to this would be to date random girls, but I have absolutely know idea how to do this. Tried it once and got rejected in the blink of an eye. I think it's because I want the girl to know me a little so that we can both feel comfortable in each others company. Any advice much appreciated. Thanks Now ... just to be clear. Being an item with these women and getting rejected by them are two different things. If you are in a relationship with these women, then they are going through the same post breakup heartbreak (more or less). That kind of heartbreak you will have to deal with for the rest of your life, nothing you can really do about it unless you're more of an emotionless kind of person. On the other hand, if you are getting rejected by them straight up or early, you need to break out of the thinking of the bolded above. You have to think of each woman as one out of very many, because believe me, that's how they view you. Think of a woman you know who has some options available to her. You think she gives a second thought to all the guys she blows off. Not a chance! You're just another in a long line of chumps. And she's just another in a long line of women available to you. I'd also advise against dating within your social circle. Could get messy. You're in college. Hit on girls in class...
Author Cyclo Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 Thanks for the advice guys. I guess I need to "man up" and stop being such an intense, over-sensitive wet blanket and get on with dating. I think the problem is that I don't date very often. Maybe find someone once every 2/3 months. So I need to increase the frequency somehow. Not sure about online dating. Had a brief look but there doesn't seem to be many local girls. I dated a girl in college, but everyone found out because her friend annoyingly blurted it out in class and it didn't work out anyway so that's put me off. I don't feel comfortable approaching random girls. I've done it on nights out but it just ends in one night stands.
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