kikilove Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 Am I being paranoid at the fact that my bf is talking much about a co-worker? This is my story, did I do wrong? First, I left my bf job soon thereafter female started to work there but everything was still cool. Now once we see each other all he does is talk about work and especially about female co-worker, what she said, what she did, etc. he said it was because she is weird and "getto" Till finally I told him to stop . Last night he played a basketball game no big deal until she showed up. See I dont like her very much, I dont have anything agaisnt her Ive only seen her twice including last night and I just have this weird feeling (she produces anger) which Im wondering if its just jealousy. So anyways after the game he came towards me asked me if I wanted to go dine with him said yes then walked away towards her, I totally walked out thinking that since he knows that I dont like her very much he would at least have the common sence of respecting that and not acknowleding her that much, instead he did the opposite, so I walked out he got mad and we havent spoke to each other since. Did I do wrong? Do you all think I have reason?
bluechocolate Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 He walked away towards her. How does that equate to him acknowledging her that much? What does that mean exactly? Did he start talking, flirting with her? Were they laughing together & pointing at you? Or maybe the change room was in that general direction? Did you even stick around long enough to find out? I think you may have over reacted.
stephysthebest Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 I am not a relationship guru, but there are ten signs that your man is cheating and one of them is all of a sudden talking about another person. Has he changed any of his habits? You should WATCH OUT!!!! Keep an eye on this. And yes we women know when another wants our man, but what it comes down to is whether you trust him or not. There is going to definately be tension there if she does like him or you are territorial, either way you both are sensing this. So he is the one to be watched not her. He should repsect your wishes if he loves you. Co-workers should be left at work.
Author kikilove Posted May 28, 2004 Author Posted May 28, 2004 Bluechocolate, Yes, I did stick around and he was leaning towards her and talking and smiling, thats when I walked out I thout that if he knows that for what ever reason I dont like her he shouldnt be all talkative with her maybe a hi but go towards her and talk thats different and they were flirting eventhought I might have been the only one who noticed.
FolderWife Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 Ya know, there is this girl that I just don't like She is my husband's cousin's fiance. She has two little girls, and as far as I can tell she's alright, but something about her...... My husband never talks to her in my presence, and he never talks about her. Something about her just doesn't set right with me. My husband will visit his uncle after he get's off work, and she's there sometimes, and not sometimes. She doesn't laugh at his jokes all flirty or anything. My husband wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole. She's not his type at all....but I'm jealous of her for no reason! Didn't mean to hijack your thread, I just wanted to let you know that there's nothing wrong with being jealous for no reason. As far as walking out....did you make a big scene? Did you just...leave? Why did he get mad? You didn't condone his talking to her in front of you. He was prolly just saying bye to her....I work with lots of guys, and if there was one of them at my church or something, I'd say bye to him. If my husband walked out, I wouldn't get p.o.ed. I think I would understand that he doesn't want to hang around while I fraternize with someone he doesn't know. Whoopty Doo. You say you haven't spoken since.....did you blow up at your boyfriend because he talked to her? That may've been over reacting a little bit. He is JUST your boyfriend. All he owes you is you being the only one he kisses, holds hands with etc. Fiance's owe you complete respect and fidelity, and husbands owe you comfort and stability. If my husband talked to a woman, and it made me uncomfortable, I would EXPECT him to stop, because MY HUSBAND is supposed to make me feel secure. We share a home, finances, and a dog, and I need to know that he's not going to be running off with some floozy. What do you lose if your boyfriend dumps you for ghetto booty? You lose a hand holder. Therefore, since you have so little invested in him, and he in you, you can't expect him not to talk to other women. That's up to him. If you want to accept it, fine, if not, dump him. You can ask him not to talk about her, to you, because you don't like her, soyoudon't want to hear it. You can also ask him to not be overly friendly to her in your presence. The best mechanism I've learned for men's female friends, is to be their friend's too. If you smile, be nice to her, yadda yadda, then your boyfriend will appreciate it, and she will be jealous of your bubbly personality. If you act like a bitch to her, then she'll call you a bitch to your boyfriend, and he'll say, "I know, I don't know what her problem is." You don't want to let them have dogging you in common. I had a friend who's husband was downing her to me. I didn't want to hear it. I LOVED his wife, so I wasn't going to help him belittle her! Now, if I didn't like her, then I'd have something in common with HER HUSBAND. Not a good thing. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Talk to your boyfriend, and ask him why he's upset. Tell him you're sorry for blowing up at him, because you were out of line. Even if YOU DON'T THINK YOU WERE OUT OF LINE, what's more important to you....being right, or saving your relationship? Just my 2 cents, and 2 cents ain't worth a lot now days.
stephysthebest Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 Kikilove , You know you need to identify your feelings and really focus on yourself, because in the end you are always going to be there for you. You need to identify whether it's her you do not trust or him. Love yourself girl and don't put up with something and settle. I will tell you if it were me, which it is not, but I would put the foot down. If he cares for you he will not disrespect you and leave you feeling like an outsider to a stupid ho. I have learned through experience. Men never know how green the grass is on their own side of the fence until they jump. You need to let him know what he will be missing out on if he doesn't stop. By not speaking up, you are letting him get away with it and he will continue cause he thinks it is ok. If you have just sorta hinted, don't hint...lay it down. Sounds like you love/like this guy enough to be mad in the first place communicate it. Or cry they hate that and will do anything to make you stop. Monday, In any situation there are women who just strike you as something you don't want nothing to do with, that is ok. Sounds like you trust your husband, you should continue to do so. Plus, lots of times I have poeple talk to me and they hate this person or that person, well me...I hate everyone equally. Doesn't mean I have to say anything bad about anyone. Sounds like you are not insecure enough to talk crap about someone just because others are.
PlentyLV007 Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 I was in the same situation as your Kiki, trust me....it got to the point that his co-worker bought him a shirt....and he wore it the same day she gave it to him and even bought shoes to match it..... I was very upset....but didn't tell him nothing. I wish when I was with him I would have said something....but I didn't. I didn't trust him because in the past his betrayed me with his best-friend ( who is always a woman) So.... If you know how he is and you can trust him fine...but if he is letting this girl in in-front of you he is showing that he does not have much respect for you. WTF???? Why would you want to take some other girl to dinner w/ both of you!!!! Hell no!!! So....Put your foot down...if he respects it fine...if not then you know he doesn't care about you. Men....really don't get it and if you let them....they will keep doing it cause they feel it's okay. Work...should stay as work..... Now...My ex is close to his co-worker....from what I hear off....they talk all the time....he even goes out with her....so....if you don't want that to happen....put your foot down!!!!
Recommended Posts