lolita jade Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 I was feeling very positive and accepting of the situation. Now it is getting closer to Christmas, I want my old life back and have been tearful. Its like going backwards. Anyone else falling into the same trap??
Anna84 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 I'm there aswell; I just feel like getting December over with a.s.a.p. I've got a couple of plans laid out, leaving the country for both x-mas and NYE, but neither excite me. The dirty truth is I just want to spend both with my ex. Being reminded of things I used to do with him this time one year ago makes me feel nauseous and I feel like I'm starting to dream about him more and more. Bah.. let's hope we feel better in January
swann Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Yes, Christmas holidays will probably be an awful time for me also, because I'll be thinking about what we were doing and how happy we were last year in this time. I expected New year's eve to be the worst moment, everybody will be celebrating and I'll have to say goodbye to the last year that we have spent together. I hope that will give me some kind of closure, at least. Try to stay close to your family and friends and ask them to support you if you feel depressed. You have already started to accept the situation, and that's good. Realising that your loved one does not want to spent these days with you anymore will be painful, but it should help you to let go and moving on with your life.
DannyT27 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 I'm in the same boat.. Not a good feeling, it's ok for my ex she got a new bf to spend Xmas with and I'm on my own feeling quite depressed today!
Berlington Bob Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Thanksgiving was tough for me. It wasn't until recently (last 4 or 5 years) that I really got a fondness for Thanksgiving. And my ex would always come with me to my relatives cause her family doesn't really celebrate it like mine does. I kept sitting on the couch catching myself looking around for where she went off to forgetting she wasn't there. Christmas won't be as tough for me as she didn't spend as much time with my family at xmas events. But with the days so short it sucks big time. Plus I live in Minnesota so I'll spend 99% of the time indoors until at least April. Add to that my habbit of sleeping in till 2 PM and I get like 2 hours of daylight each day. I think once spring rolls around we will all be happier... I guess except for all the Aussies. I'm going to look forward to New Year's Eve this year because it means I can finally do what I want instead of spending it at some bar like she always made me do, then driving her drunk ass home just to hear "I'm too tired" when we got there... haha
Author lolita jade Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 Yes, I guess we all have the new year to look forward to hopefully being able to put a line under it and starting a new fresh exciting year. Doesnt stop me being so depressed right now though. Do you think our ex's are finding it hard, even though they have new OW/OM? Or will they be excited about a new experience? My Husband wont see much of our (adult) children either. He is spending it all with OW apart from Christmas morning. Surely he must have feelings??? Yes Bob, I live in England. Normally I get so depressed from January until the bulbs start coming up. All that cold and snow yuk. We will have to try extra hard to change that this year. Be good to go to Australia until the Spring lol.
SelfCentered Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Oh Christ yeah. Plus, both my birthday and the ex's are this month. I had so many plans. It'd would have been nice. Honestly think this is the worst time of the year to be single, beating Valentines hands down.
fificremefarben Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 I'm right there with you, Lolita. Normally I absolutely live Christmas, but this year I just feel hollow. We had such a great Christmas together last year, and it was always my favourite time of year with him. Truthfully, it kills me to think that he's spending it with someone else this year when there's nowhere else I'd rather be! It's gonna be tough for all of us, for sure, but hopefully January will bring something good for us for the new year! Stay strong xx
Anna_broken Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 After 4 Christmas holidays together, it will be the first without him. We broke up 6 weeks ago, he just dissapeared... The very same morning we were making plans about our trips during holidays, searching for destinations, flights... He was instinting on getting my new passport as soon as possible. And the same night, he anounced that he is not sure if he is the relationship guy, he wants to be alone. We won't be together this Christmas, we won't travel, we won't go shopping... I will be alone and miserable surrounded by happy people and couples. It's been the first weeks of my bu and it's only a few days that I feel better, but the more christmas get closer, I know the more depressed I will be...
Author lolita jade Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 Anna, That seems really bizarre after 4 yrs together to end it like that? Is he bi polar?
stunned8165 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 I was feeling very positive and accepting of the situation. Now it is getting closer to Christmas, I want my old life back and have been tearful. Its like going backwards. Anyone else falling into the same trap?? Oh yes. With pout a doubt. Mainly because I miss her kids that I got attached to. But actually, I think SHE may even be going backwards now.. She broke no contact recently.. Check out my story and the recent contact threads My story http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302201/ Her breaking NC http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t309568/
Anna_broken Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Anna, That seems really bizarre after 4 yrs together to end it like that? Is he bi polar? No he is not. He told me some BU reasons but he did everything so quickly. No one could explain it... the whole BU story is here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t308848/
Author lolita jade Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 Anna, do you want me to reply to what I think about your ex on here on on your original thread?
Anna_broken Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Anna, do you want me to reply to what I think about your ex on here on on your original thread? Of course, to the original better, let's not spam this
Author lolita jade Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 It sounds from all your posts that dumpers and dumpees are going to have a tough time this month. From either guilt or missing them When I have been buying presents, I have been itching to buy something for him. Has anyone else had that. It seems alien not to!!
stunned8165 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 It sounds from all your posts that dumpers and dumpees are going to have a tough time this month. From either guilt or missing them When I have been buying presents, I have been itching to buy something for him. Has anyone else had that. It seems alien not to!! Yep. I do the same thing for AND the kids. It's hard for me just to even go into the stores. I used to love buying them little surprises to bring home. That douch bag will regret this. She already is I'm guessing being she broke NC on Monday.. What ever.
Author lolita jade Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 It is hard when kids are involved. I feel for you Shunned. From reading all the posts on here. It always seems to be us women who break the contact..... Is it in our make up to want to communicate more than men or are we literally the weaker sex ???? Is breaking contact always such a bad thing????
broken-and-lost Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Not backwards but a little twitch this time of year ad it's over a year later normal really as it's a holiday you usually share with people you love. You'll be ok m8, i thought i was going to die even wanted to last year this year , nothing of the kind apart from wishing things could have been different and missing her a little
stunned8165 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 It is hard when kids are involved. I feel for you Shunned. From reading all the posts on here. It always seems to be us women who break the contact..... Is it in our make up to want to communicate more than men or are we literally the weaker sex ???? Is breaking contact always such a bad thing???? It depends. She cheated on me with her boss. She hasn't heard from me in 2 months now. Before that it was low contact. But why contact me if you no longer want anything to do with me. Leave me be and let me heal. Is it driving her crazy now because she may thing I'm really gone? Whats the deal? All she had to do was send me an e mail. Not call. She wanted to talk to me. Didn't she... Read my threads and tell me what you think.
Author lolita jade Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 So many relationships are ruined by a third party and lust. When you have learnt it was a really stupid thing to do it is all ruined. Glad you are nearly mended 1 year on. I know the feeling of wanting to die over it. I dont but it seems like a solution?? There is hope for us all then to think 1 year on we will definately be fine
broken-and-lost Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 So many relationships are ruined by a third party and lust. When you have learnt it was a really stupid thing to do it is all ruined. Glad you are nearly mended 1 year on. I know the feeling of wanting to die over it. I dont but it seems like a solution?? There is hope for us all then to think 1 year on we will definately be fine Killing your self is never the solution and no one is worth losing your life for even if your brain is playing tricks on you. I've been through the depts of hell and back and i thought my life was over when she left, but even tho i still have feeling for the girl i also know i can live without her and all the pain of a year ago i went though i know think if i can take all of that and still be here then i know i'm going to be ok. There is always hope never give up on yourself at 38 i'm having to start all over again but never let someone else define who you are fight for you and i promise a year from now you will be better if not 100% you sure a hell won't think that person is the only way you can live a happy life, friends and family are important not some ex partner you put you through all this pain good luck you will be fine trust me.......you just have to fight through the pain
Author lolita jade Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 Broken, I am 45 with a 25 year marriage behind me. That is why it is so hard, like you. I have fight in me to win, its just very hard thats all.
JohnP82 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 (edited) Actually I thought I was doing well and then today I just had an overwhelming sense of sadness. It's been about three months since we broke up and she was the first girl I loved. I believe I lost her to GIGS and I guess the realization that she isn't coming back, nor would I take her back if she came kind of hit me. I've been dreaming about her a lot recently. It's been a tough day. It hasn't been helped recently that my roommate just started dating a girl and they're in the honeymoon phase acting like a young couple in love. I'm not jealous of him, in fact I'm happy that he found someone that deserves him this time. It just makes me miss what I had, but that's the way life goes sometimes. Edited December 7, 2011 by JohnP82
broken-and-lost Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Broken, I am 45 with a 25 year marriage behind me. That is why it is so hard, like you. I have fight in me to win, its just very hard thats all. I know it's hard huh it really is but you will get their it takes a lot of time and you will have good days where you think i'm starting to feel better then bam you will feel like your back to square one but your really not. To you all you are going to have a lot of up's and downs but you will get better with time the amount really depends took me over a year before i starting to think this way. You will all get their keep your heads up best you can
lostdaddy Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 I'm right there with you, Lolita. Normally I absolutely live Christmas, but this year I just feel hollow. We had such a great Christmas together last year, and it was always my favourite time of year with him. Truthfully, it kills me to think that he's spending it with someone else this year when there's nowhere else I'd rather be! It's gonna be tough for all of us, for sure, but hopefully January will bring something good for us for the new year! Stay strong xx I was just coming in here to post the exact same thing. Ive been doing fine all summer, but now december is here i just keep thinking of how happy iwas this time last year. Talking about marriage buying presents etc, i finally had something good going. Now this year im haunted and depressed by the memories of what i lost. Its just awful. And to top it off ive stated dreaming about my ex again. You are not alone people.
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