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I cheated- don't know how to fix it, or if I should even keep trying.

octupos

By octupos
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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diskostu Established Member

diskostu

Posted
Posted
I don't agree it is okay for anybody to cheat man or woman but I recall a poster in here justifying violence against a cheating man but somehow we are supposed to be soft on a woman that cheats.

 

lol if a woman ever cheated on me i'd slap her silly, throw her in a dumpster and **** her sister/mom/best friend.

samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

Posted
Posted (edited)
lol if a woman ever cheated on me i'd slap her silly, throw her in a dumpster and **** her sister/mom/best friend.
Seems like a troll trying to seek a reaction. Edited by samsungxoxo
Untouchable_Fire Established Member

Untouchable_Fire

Posted
Posted
Hah. Few things are more humiliating then having your partner cheat on you. My husband's indiscretions were the most humiliating thing I ever endured and my self-esteem was in the toilet for two years. And yes, my friends thought I was simply "an idiot" for ever trying to work it out. Most lonely experience ever. I truly have no idea why some men get the idea they have it so much worse after an infidelity. What makes them so special?

 

That guy simply is not worthy of you. He may never understand that... but I want you to know that I see it.

 

Your trying to work things out is less to your shame and more to your strength. Those who try to work these things out are either very weak or very strong... those who walk away are in the middle. You are stronger and braver than anyone who would just walk away.

 

So in fact, we are supposed to maintain higher standards then our male counterparts and when we fail the consequences are much harsher? This does not seem rational, logical, fair or realistic.

 

Yes, it is fair and logical. Just as it's fair and logical that as a man I be expected not to physically strike my SO.

 

Cheating is the highest level of emotional abuse... and it's as easy for a woman to cheat as it is for me to throw a punch in anger.

 

I say we make cheating illegal and financially brutalize those who get caught doing it.

samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

Posted
Posted
Cheating is the highest level of emotional abuse... and it's as easy for a woman to cheat as it is for me to throw a punch in anger.
The only difference is cheaping will hurt you emotionally but you can always walk away since they're not worth your time but if you punch in anger, then you can get charged with assault and next thing is you're in jail.

 

If someone hits me (whatever emotinal pain they're in), I would report him/her right away.

diskostu Established Member

diskostu

Posted
Posted
Seems like a troll trying to seek a reaction.

 

no troll, red herring and you are obviously incapable of articulating a rational counter argument. proving my point.

diskostu Established Member

diskostu

Posted
Posted
The only difference is cheaping will hurt you emotionally but you can always walk away since they're not worth your time but if you punch in anger, then you can get charged with assault and next thing is you're in jail.

 

If someone hits me (whatever emotinal pain they're in), I would report him/her right away.

 

cheating can hurt you economically and throwing a punch rarely gets you jail time.

oldguy Established Member

oldguy

Posted
Posted

It is a commitment that will take as long as it takes, without being a door mat, every day. You need to earn his trust & he needs to be willing to trust & it will never be exactly the same again. That isn't to say it won't be good, or even better than you ever imagined, but it will not be the same again, so forget that.

 

The trust you must earn, short of being a door mat, don't ever do that.

It's probably going to be an esteem issue also that manifests into more overt characteristics or behaviors like depression & jealousy. You are not responsible for that. He needs to own it & get help for it.

oldguy Established Member

oldguy

Posted
Posted
cheating can hurt you economically and throwing a punch rarely gets you jail time.

I don't want to get involved in this particular 'back & forth' but I have to say; anywhere I've lived, throwing a punch not only DOES get you a trip to jail & at least a fine but follows you around as an assault charge the rest of your days. If you don't think that's a big deal; try explaining it at a job interview or even when applying for a major loan. It can, unfortunately, be a big deal 15 years after the fact & in most cases; what did it really accomplish. Or you can take your chances & hope charges aren't filed I suppose ;)

diskostu Established Member

diskostu

Posted
Posted
I don't want to get involved in this particular 'back & forth' but I have to say; anywhere I've lived, throwing a punch not only DOES get you a trip to jail & at least a fine but follows you around as an assault charge the rest of your days. If you don't think that's a big deal; try explaining it at a job interview or even when applying for a major loan. It can, unfortunately, be a big deal 15 years after the fact & in most cases; what did it really accomplish. Or you can take your chances & hope charges aren't filed I suppose ;)

 

that is probably because you live in the us. a messed up country with a messed up legal system.

 

not to mention, you presuppose that the assault even gets reported.

oldguy Established Member

oldguy

Posted
Posted
that is probably because you live in the us. a messed up country with a messed up legal system.

 

not to mention, you presuppose that the assault even gets reported.

We are usually accused of being too violent never too passive :laugh:

& yes, I do presuppose that the assault gets reported. My question was; is it really worth the consequence? If so, have at it.

Just out of curiosity; what do you find, "messed up" about a law that protects people?

Untouchable_Fire Established Member

Untouchable_Fire

Posted
Posted
The only difference is cheaping will hurt you emotionally but you can always walk away since they're not worth your time but if you punch in anger, then you can get charged with assault and next thing is you're in jail.

If someone hits me (whatever emotinal pain they're in), I would report him/her right away.

 

I've been punched and I've been cheated on. I will take the punch any day. The black eye healed in 1 week, with very little pain overall.

 

The cheating took 8 months to recover from and cost well over $20,000. The overall pain was so much greater than being punched that the two are barely comparable.

 

Emotional abuse can simply fu** you for life. Even with physical abuse it is most often the emotional side that does the most damage.

 

Perhaps we need to start leveraging some fines or jailtime for cheats.

 

I don't want to get involved in this particular 'back & forth' but I have to say; anywhere I've lived, throwing a punch not only DOES get you a trip to jail & at least a fine but follows you around as an assault charge the rest of your days. If you don't think that's a big deal; try explaining it at a job interview or even when applying for a major loan. It can, unfortunately, be a big deal 15 years after the fact & in most cases; what did it really accomplish. Or you can take your chances & hope charges aren't filed I suppose ;)

 

Depends on who throws the punch and who gets hit. Lots of violence goes unreported.

samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

Posted
Posted (edited)
cheating can hurt you economically and throwing a punch rarely gets you jail time.
You would still have to appear in court and probably pay a fine on physical damages. Then not all job positions will take someone with a criminal record.

 

Good luck there. :p

 

Way to go.... giving free money. So if you're gonna punch, slap or hit someone make sure it's not me. I'm the wrong person to mess with.

Edited by samsungxoxo
samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

Posted
Posted (edited)
I don't want to get involved in this particular 'back & forth' but I have to say; anywhere I've lived, throwing a punch not only DOES get you a trip to jail & at least a fine but follows you around as an assault charge the rest of your days. If you don't think that's a big deal; try explaining it at a job interview or even when applying for a major loan. It can, unfortunately, be a big deal 15 years after the fact & in most cases; what did it really accomplish. Or you can take your chances & hope charges aren't filed I suppose ;)
Or he better hope it's not me being hit because once I pressed charges I won't dropped them. Everything has consequences. Edited by samsungxoxo
nofool4u Established Member

nofool4u

Posted
Posted
Cheating because you "want variety" is far worse then cheating due to a broken relationship.

 

Uh no, it isn't. Cheating is cheating. And its reprehensible no matter how you slice it.

nofool4u Established Member

nofool4u

Posted
Posted
cheating can hurt you economically and throwing a punch rarely gets you jail time.

 

It will only not get you jail time if nobody presses charges.

 

Nobody should be hitting anyone, don't care what the gender. If a woman hits me, she is going to jail.

samsungxoxo Established Member

samsungxoxo

Posted
Posted
It will only not get you jail time if nobody presses charges.

 

Nobody should be hitting anyone, don't care what the gender. If a woman hits me, she is going to jail.

Apparently he doesn't get this and thinks you can freely slap or punch without any charges. He definitely not get a chance to go all the way to throw me in a dumpster... that would be another charge added on his record.

Then another one for pestering my mother.

 

Congratulations diskostu you would now have not 1 but 3 charges.

 

1) Assault (the slap)

2) Bodily force (throwing me in a dumpster)

3) Stalking and molesting family member

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