thomas 2 Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 my girlfriend an i bought a computer a few months back and since then she has been on it every spare minute she has. now don't get me wrong, i have no real qualms about it, she does not go to porn sites or chat with males and things of that nature. she just im's her friends and family and utilizes message boards for necessary things and she still seems to addicted to me. first thing in the morning before her eyes are even open she wonders off to the computer. we have cable internet so it is always on. first thing when she comes home from anywhere even just to the store straight to the computer. last thing at night checks the computer again. not to mention every spare moment in between she is on there. she has literally been late for things because of this. she gets several emails from people she knows and she sends lengthly emails back and forth to everybody she knows. she spends hours on end on this thing. she does some work on it as well using microsoft word, and does some other things that are a necessity for her and that i can understand but it just seems she has an obsession with this thing and i am worried about her. i do not miind personally, it gives me all the time in the evening to hog the remote and read my paper uninterrupted but that is a lousy reason. should i be too concerned? if so what can i say to help her? i think of getting rid of the damm thing but then again it comes in very handy for other things. she has said once she was going to try to moderate her time on it but that did not pan out. she has told me also that she feels addicted to it. we did not have this before and she can not now remember what she use to do before the computer arrived. she said that at times she wants to throw it out in the dumpster and never have to see it again. so she must know there is a problem?
faux Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 Originally posted by thomas 2 ...we have cable internet so it is always on. Leaving a high-speed internet connection "always on" is a bad idea; it is a security risk. If you must leave your computer on, and connected to a high-speed connection at all times, please be sure that you have a very decent hardware router with a built-in firewall. Also, be sure that for whatever operating system you are using, all of your security patches are up-to-date. You may think, "There is nothing on my computer that anyone could want!" But remember: There are enough people out there who would want to take over your computer and use it to do various un-nifty things. Leaving your high-speed connection on at all times can be risky. ...first thing when she comes home from anywhere even just to the store straight to the computer. last thing at night checks the computer again. not to mention every spare moment in between she is on there. she has literally been late for things because of this. she gets several emails from people she knows and she sends lengthly emails back and forth to everybody she knows. she spends hours on end on this thing. she does some work on it as well using microsoft word, and does some other things that are a necessity for her and that i can understand but it just seems she has an obsession with this thing and i am worried about her. I went through the same thing when I first got a computer, and the phase lasted for a good few years. I still go on a lot, I suppose, but I never feel the "need" to do so. It's understandable that she's addicted to something as nifty as a computer, but if she feels COMPELLED to spend so much time on it there IS a problem here. Either way, her behavior is upsetting you and this shows there is some type of problem. ...i do not miind personally, it gives me all the time in the evening to hog the remote and read my paper uninterrupted but that is a lousy reason. should i be too concerned? if so what can i say to help her? i think of getting rid of the damm thing but then again it comes in very handy for other things. she has said once she was going to try to moderate her time on it but that did not pan out. she has told me also that she feels addicted to it. we did not have this before and she can not now remember what she use to do before the computer arrived. she said that at times she wants to throw it out in the dumpster and never have to see it again. so she must know there is a problem? Maybe you can moderate HER time. There are several freeware applications which allow you to monitor someone's "allowed time" to use a computer. Such applications are password controlled, and prove to be very effective. The thing which would be embarrassing to her, however, is that these programs are meant to control teenagers and children from spending too much time on the computer Way back when, my parents would steal the power cable to the system, steal the mouse and keyboard, and various other physical things to ensure that I would not spend every waking our in front of the PC. I always managed to find a way around it, however. If this is bothering you so much, you ought to have a discussion with your girlfriend about her computer use, and actually set time limits. If she cannot agree to a time limit, and to you hiding away the essential power cables/mouse/keyboard when she is not supposed to go on the PC, she definitely has a little addiction problem.
thomas 2 Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 so then today she tells me that she feels so trapped by this again that she was late for work again and that she is just so fed up with it. she says that she wants to get some email station that you can only email with. i already know her friends are discouraging her from this and telling her ways to try to discipline herself better so she wont need to. she tells me that she has tried this and did not work out too well. she said she is scared to be without it because it helps her when she is tired, or anxious or upset about when things come up. she said too that she is just so confused about it all and can not understand what is wrong with her, she said she is literally scared of this computer now and scared to be with out it. i am some what hesitant to totally get rid of it to help her out because i do use it myself at times, so it helps me out too. maybe she should talk to a professional about this, what do you think?
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