How to start a LDR with a internet freind

[Andy9]

I am not sure if this is the right thread i could post this in but it looks like the closest thing to my situation : /

 

Well i am a 18 year old male and i like a 15 year old girl, we have been talking for the better part of 2 years, since i was 16, i meet her through a free online MMO called luna online and later we added each other to MSN.

 

A little over a year ago the MMO we played together alot had an update and the game just kinda died, we don't play it anymore but we still talk daily on msn if neither of us have some other place we have to be, we talk up to 5 hours alot of the time and as far as i know have talked about pretty much everything there is to talk about, she apparently kind of told me about a hard time she had that she said she has never told anybody else, it was not venting on me just because i was a person on the internet though, this conversation came when we wanted to trade a secret for a secret, we run out of things to talk about sometimes but i can keep it going.

 

We have never spoken to each other exactly, her parents distrusts anything over the internet so nobody knows she talks with me at all, i have talked with her though, using my mic while she just types because she says she does not want to be heard, she says maybe if she is ever home alone she can talk.

 

Anyway we have given each other presents for birthdays, have agreed to skip this Christmas because of money problems, she says we will get presents for Christmas next year. once i kinda charged 60 or so dollars to her cell phone trying to get free credits for her, this was well over a year ago and she never holds it against me.

 

I can be fairly sure she has not had a relationship with anyone yet because once in a conversation we talked about friends and she said she had no guy friends, talked to some guys but not really.

 

Ah and i live in Pennsylvania and she in Arizona, before she would express how this would kinda make our friendship more distant than if we actually meet each other in the flesh, this is always discouraging to me but i debate with her how it does not really matter etc... and i would like to think it changes her views on that but i am not really sure, but i have expressed more than once that i count her as much a friend as any of my friends who live close to me.

 

Sorry for the life story if anyone has read this far but i would really like second opinions on this.

 

So yeah we talk all the time allot, play games on occasion but not as much as just talking, i actually like her and would like to eventually meet her but i am not sure if i should tell her this or not, i am afraid it might make her uncomfortable to talk to me anymore but i also would not want her to start dating you know? should i keep it to myself longer or maybe press the issue.

 

It is mostly me being unsure on my end, i have never really liked anyone before because i have been afraid of relationships really, so i would avoid getting close to anyone, this kind of snuck up on me because it was the internet before i knew it i kind of fell in love with her and the thought of this just going nowhere almost makes me depressed. i believe it could work, my aunt married my uncle from online dating and they are very happy.

 

I just do not want to read to much into a girl over the internet and mess up any possibility of something more real developing between us. And also i would wait for her to turn 18 before trying to see her, her parents wouldn't like me showing up before then sooo yeah, but i would wait.

Edited December 7, 2011 by Andy9

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I can't stress enough how important it is for you to be patient!!!

 

The friendship of which you speak, and the distance between you are really useful in causing you both to develop a great bond. There is nothing which says that you need to leap and jeopardize that bond with declarations for which neither she nor her parents are ready.

 

You have all the time in the world ahead of you, and you could have the most meaningful and enjoyable *connection* down the road a bit.

 

For your being a bit older, it is doubly important that you show patience and resist wanting to make some 'declaration' about your friendship/relationship.

 

Not only that, but she will be a 'better' person all around for being allowed/inspired to evolve through her high school years unattached and more typical than is someone tethered to any kind of a long-distance relationship.

 

Just keep building the bond... and TIME alone is the best ingredient for that!

[Andy9]

Thanks allot for the advice, what i really needed was a good reason to wait other than the friendship coming to the end, because i was afraid of her going through high school for reasons that people should know, but what you said here.

 

"Not only that, but she will be a 'better' person all around for being allowed/inspired to evolve through her high school years unattached and more typical than is someone tethered to any kind of a long-distance relationship."

 

It really helped me out, i never thought of that, i cant say i would like hearing about her dating but there is nothing i can really do about it in this position.

 

And things are improving all the time anyway, like yesterday i was kind of bothering her about Christmas presents again because i would like to get her something, so she gave a deal that if i leave it alone she would get on and talk, because she wants to talk also. it would be something for Christmas you know? i hope she can but if she cant at least it shows that she wants to. I just need to think of things to talk about >>

 

Thank you allot for your input it was a something i had not thought of at all and i am sure it will help me wait until the time would be right.

 

Just one more question, of course i cant be prepared for everything but say anytime in the future we talk about who we like for whatever reason, should i say i do not like anyone? would that make her think i do not like her if that was what she wanted to know? or should i say i do like someone? but i would not be able to tell her and she would get mad, and or she would think i just like someone else.

Edited December 8, 2011 by Andy9

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Hey, Andy, I would like to send you a private message, but I don't think you have enabled the option for you to receive such messages.

 

IF you get here, and change, that, I'll come back in a day or four and send you a related message.

[TMichaels]

Hey, Andy, I would like to send you a private message, but I don't think you have enabled the option for you to receive such messages.

 

IF you get here, and change, that, I'll come back in a day or four and send you a related message.

 

SincereOnlineGuy,

 

Andy9 doesn't have enough enough posts under his belt yet to have the "privilege" of sending/receiving PMs so it's not a matter of him changing anything other than logging the requisite number of posts.

 

Best,

TMichaels

[Andy9]

a day or four XD, and that is an interesting feature these here forums have

o-o, my grammar is failing me. anyway i would be fine with giving you my msn, i junked the email connected to it a while ago so email or msn would be fine. don't think posting it in the forums would hurt me in anyway. up to you. i read the FAQ on the private messages, it does not say when exactly i would get private message privileges, and i do not think i could really give good advice on the forums anyway.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

i read the FAQ on the private messages, it does not say when exactly i would get private message privileges

 

... NOR did TMichaels, I must say !!! (laughs)

 

 

(suffice it to say that it might take a day... and it might take four...

 

 

(for you to accumulate enough posts) )

 

In the meanwhile, what I want to e-mail relates to the only 'thread' I've ever started on LS here. (you could find that via my profile)

 

MAYBE you should just make up a Yahoo account... and leave that address on here... unless we find that you will actually live long enough to one day be allowed to trade LS private messages.

[Andy9]

then lets go with [email protected]

[Andy9]

thanks for all the advice and of course i will try to go with it for as long as i can but what do i do in lets say an extreme situation? like what if she would say she likes me or something? should i actually discourage any type of relationship with her until she is older? or should i tell her how i feel also? in other words should i make myself more distant?