ruloog Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 (edited) I wrote a post some days ago, but nobody read it because it was reeeeeeally long, so I'll make it very short: I'm 19, she's 18. Last Wednesday my girlfriend (now ex) broke up with me. She said she needed some time because things were not working as she wanted. She confessed that she's confused about her feelings. Her cousin is making it really hard also, because she's been pressing for my ex to reconcile with her previous bf. I chose NC, and didn't talked to her since friday night, until yesterday. She read me on twitter, where I was posting some sad lyrics. She told me on fb chat that she didn't wanted me to be that sad. I responded saying I was that way, sad, so it was "normal" to act that way. She told me not to be like that, she still loves me, and that she thinks we could try it again (something I'd like) but she doesn't want to hurt me anymore. I finally asked her to tell, yes or no, if she thought we could be together again. She responded: "I don't know, in this precise moment I can't". I renewed NC, and today I acted as if nothing happened on twitter, making jokes, and not even mentioning love. She, instead, was now the one posting sad lyrics, about how hard it was to say goodbye, and how she would like to give another try, but didn't want to get hurt again, and stuff like that. It was hard, but I ignored her on fb and twitter and never really made contact until, a minute before going out from work, she said hello on fb chat. I was tempted to respond, but I ended closing fb and driving home. If I hadn't read this forum before, I'd be being a wussy begging for a second chance, but I've convinced my mind not to. The thing is, I'd really like to make things work. I know I could move on, but in this moment I don't want to, mainly because I don't want to kill every feeling (on both sides) right now. It could be over, but it could be not. So here I am, asking myself if, in this situation, NC is the best approach. I was hoping to be like this until I found she really misses me and wants to reignite this with me, but I'm also thinking that maybe this way she will think I'm no longer interested and that it would be worse than asking her out sometimes or texting her, etc. What do you guys think? Is this the way? Edited December 7, 2011 by ruloog
mike588 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Read the thread : Looking for a females perspective g/f said she needs a break that should answer some of your questions.
Chi townD Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Ignore it dude. As a matter of fact, you need to block her on Facebook and stop following her on twitter. The only reason she posting sad crap is ONLY for your benefit. It's facade to make you see that she's having a hard time too. Which is a load of crap, because if she was THAT sad and heartbroken, then nothing stopping her from coming back. The probable fact of that matter is, she's posting that stuff on Facebook as she's on the phone with her Ex. GO COMPLETE NC!!!!
Author ruloog Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 Ignore it dude. As a matter of fact, you need to block her on Facebook and stop following her on twitter. The only reason she posting sad crap is ONLY for your benefit. It's facade to make you see that she's having a hard time too. Which is a load of crap, because if she was THAT sad and heartbroken, then nothing stopping her from coming back. The probable fact of that matter is, she's posting that stuff on Facebook as she's on the phone with her Ex. GO COMPLETE NC!!!! One of my best friend has access to her cousin's fb account. He read a convesation where my ex told her cousin she was not sure, that she didn't want to break up with me, but her cousin insisted on saying "if you're not sure, you can't be with him, this is hurting him". Besides, I'm positive she's been feeling lonely all this days, sometimes crying her heart out. Still, your post just makes me open my eyes. It shows me the other side of the coin, and not the one I'm only willing to see. Thanks!
BoredAgain Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Sorry to say, but if she's confused about her feelings then there's not much you can do. Even if she changes her mind about the breakup, there's a good chance that she'll just re-change her mind in a couple weeks or months. That's how it works when people don't know what they want. Just look at what you wrote: "...my ex told her cousin she was not sure, that she didn't want to break up with me, but her cousin insisted..." A person who is committed to making a relationship work doesn't bend to the will of a cousin. The best thing you can do is move forward. Block her on Facebook, unfollow her on Twitter, and ignore calls/texts/emails. Hang out with friends and meet new people, and you'll feel better soon enough.
Author ruloog Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 I was not always the boyfriend every girl wants to have. I know I did hurt her, nothing big, but I did. That's why I'm thinking that my actions made her doubt on what we had. Days before we broke up everything was perfect, but it was as we argued for stupid things that she showed a change. It's been 6 days, would've been the same amount of NC, but she already broke it twice. I know NC will make her get out of my mind, as I've seen progress in just a few days. I'm also trying to move forward but I just felt it was natural to be hanging on a string right now. She may not be the girl I'm supposed to be with or I may not be the man she's supposed to be with either, but what if we are? I just can't make myself think that no couple has ever gotten back and lived happily ever after.
Chi townD Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 but it was as we argued for stupid things that she showed a change. I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that a lot of the fights were started by her towards the end. If so, then she was looking for an excuse to pull the trigger. To convince herself that she should end it because, " Clearly, all we do is fight." However, subconiously she's the one adding coal to the fire. Hell of a lot harder to dump someone that you're getting along with.
Author ruloog Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 I'm gonna take a stab in the dark and guess that a lot of the fights were started by her towards the end. If so, then she was looking for an excuse to pull the trigger. To convince herself that she should end it because, " Clearly, all we do is fight." However, subconiously she's the one adding coal to the fire. Hell of a lot harder to dump someone that you're getting along with. I don't get the part where you say "However, subconciously, she's the one adding coal to the fire". -- It was actually me who argued for really stupid things. There's this something that tells you when you've ****ed it up. I know I did. Again, nothing really serious, but being on her position I think I would have done the same.
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