Mister_pushover Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Split up with the ex 10 months ago & never allowed myself to get over her. She cheated on me & got with the new guy, we still kept in touch, they ended & we would meet up. I will take her out, give her money, drive her everywhere, then she met another guy & I was cast aside. I recovered alot but she got in touch & it messed me up again. After 2 months of NC we started talking again. We have met up a few times & she told me she is leaving & buying a house with this new guy, she has been with him 4 months, I was upset but wished her all the best & now she is ignoring me. My dream has always been to teach in Japan & I am doing that early next year but can't imagine not seeing her for at least a year, I want to say goodbye properly but she won't respond. If she said she would get back with me I would cancel the trip to Japan. I now can't get her out of my mind, any thoughts?
BoredAgain Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 You need to stand up for yourself: "My dream has always been to teach in Japan... If she said she would get back with me I would cancel the trip to Japan." You would give up your dream for this girl who is clearly using you as a doormat? What do you think saying "goodbye properly" will actually accomplish? Do yourself a favor and stick to No Contact, go to Japan, meet new people, have fun, and by the end of next year you'll almost certainly be happy to be out of that relationship.
mike588 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 You need to stand up for yourself: "My dream has always been to teach in Japan... If she said she would get back with me I would cancel the trip to Japan." You would give up your dream for this girl who is clearly using you as a doormat? What do you think saying "goodbye properly" will actually accomplish? Do yourself a favor and stick to No Contact, go to Japan, meet new people, have fun, and by the end of next year you'll almost certainly be happy to be out of that relationship. I couldn't of said it any better.
Chi townD Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Agreed, stop being a doormat! Everytime you think of her, stop and breath. Then think about the time she cheated on you, then left you in the dust with this guy. How she strung you along until a new guy came along. Dude! Go to Japan! I lived there for three years!!!! LOVED IT!!! The people there are soooo nice. And, from what I understand, the ladies are even nicer! (I wouldn't know, I was married) You owe her nothing! Just pack and go. I'm stealing Dodger's statement. She dumped you. Therefore, she fired you. Now, would you call the company that fired you to tell them you're going to Japan for a year? No! You owe them nothing and they wouldn't care less of what you're doing. So, if I were you! and she texted me, the LAST thing I would text her is, "Sayonara!!"
Eddie Edirol Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Closure comes from within. She will never give that to you, as long as she knows she has someone to go to. If you cut her off long ago, she wouldnt be looking for you. She cant give you the "goodbye" you have to give it to yourself. You have to be strong enough to not NEED a goodbye from her.
mike588 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Yea the ladies are hot in Japan!! You'll forget her in no time,hee hee! Seriously follow your dreams, you'll reget it later if you don't!!!
M2155 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 You obviously know you're problem, naming yourself Mister_Pushover. BoredAgain said it perfectly. If you give up your dreams for someone you KNOW is just using you as a crutch till the next guy comes along, dare I say you are asking for it? A proper goodbye only means you are choosing to do better than what you have been settling for, that does not require one word from her. Follow your dream, there will be other girls.
Author Mister_pushover Posted December 7, 2011 Author Posted December 7, 2011 Thanks for all the advice, I know I should have let go a long time ago & am finally going to do it. Maybe I am just jealous that she keeps getting with people & is now buying a house yet I haven't. At least I have this opportunity to leave so will focus on that.
LostJustLost Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 (edited) BoredAgain is spot on. Follow your dreams and try to find distractions every time she pops into your head. What I do is replay the words from the Madea's Advice video I found on the this forum titled "road to healing" every time I think about him, "If somebody want to walk out of your life.. Let Them Go" If no one's around I say it outloud. If Im near a mirror I repeat it a few times while looking at myself saying it. I'm not saying it's gonna work for you but it's what I do. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t308214/ (road to healing topic) When they wont give us the closure we desperately need its really hard to move on but it's something we have to do to keep our sanity. Hopefully watching the full video will help if y'all have time. ~L Edited December 7, 2011 by LostJustLost Named the wrong forum for the topic linked
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