hooliganization Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 HELP! After 5 years of being with the EX. I was the dumpee. I'm heartbroken. He cried and said he didn't know how he felt. Seems like GIGS. We were always in a honest respectful relationship. Always together. No arguements. He was my closest friend (really the only person I could share anything with). He called me on my birthday, he said he'd call later to hang out. He did but I was in the hosptal. Like a fool after I got home, I went home called back and waited for a call. I was getting ready to go out with friends, but I was hoping he'd call back. He said he'd do favors for me later through e-mail. I know he's doing it out of guilt. I don't need him to do anything for me..I'm upset because not once during that time did he ask how my mother was doing. A week after we broke up Mom was diagnosed with a tumor and went through surgery. He got along well with my family, in fact he loved them as his own (he'd do more for them than I ever did). I replied in an e-mail to let him know how she was doing. He didn't respond. He said he'd be there for me... I know i can't be friend with him anytime soon. I need to get over him. But it just hurts that after all that time together, he waited that long to ask how she was doing. He didn't reply Today I saw him on FB (mom finally got out of the hospital after being diagnosed with a tumor). I started talking to him like friends...usualy. I was given the cold shoulder. =*(. No response. We lived together. He still has the big stuff we bought. He's one to pawn stuff like crazy. I want to get it back. I don't know when to ask him. I sort of did over FB. I'm not getting any responses. Silly me, actually still on expecting one. ADVICE PLEASE... My other post Explains more details. I just don't want to invest more time thinking about it by reposting details.
BoredAgain Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 If you know about G.I.G.S., then you probably know the standard advice here: Sort out your furniture/financial stuff as quickly and with as little emotion as possible. Block him on Facebook. Ignore calls/emails/texts. Do the No Contact thing and move forward with your life. I'm sorry to hear about your mother, but maybe you should cut your Ex a little slack on this one. The relationship with an Ex's family is incredibly awkward, and if it's G.I.G.S. as you say, then he's going through a confusing and unsure time. Yeah, it's definitely a jerk-move, but I'm sure he'll realize that at some point.
kkay Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Holy Hell. We are living the exact same situation. Lived with my ex for 4 years, we broke up 3 months ago (all him) and I just found out my mom has breast cancer. In a fit of weakness I called him over the weekend. Although supportive he slipped up and called me by our old pet names. Although its tough, highly recommend cutting contact for a bit. Talking to him over the weekend just made things more difficult. If you want to chat, private message me
Author hooliganization Posted December 8, 2011 Author Posted December 8, 2011 It turns out, he was replying... it was just delayed. Yes, I should do the no contact and stick with it. The FB thing, I kind of want to get him back...so i'm posting all the exciting things I'm doing with friends. He was pretty possesive and would get upset if I'd hang out with friends without him so I wouldn't. So I kind of ceased to have friends...especially without a phone to be reached at. I was blinded. I was obsessed? I feel like a fool. I want to delete him, but I don't want to send the message that I don't want to be friends later. I want to hate him, but I know I can't. Hate only blackens the soul. I just feel pretty betrayed right now and although I want my friend back only as a friend. I know I'd only be hurting myself if I do it anytime soon, especially since we broke up only a month ago. The last e-mail he sent with an "explanation" mentioned how it was horrible to feel lonely. I didn't reply to that e-mail. I wanted to. I did type a reply, but I didn't send it. It offended me, that he'd call our relationship mediocre. It was anything but mediocre. I'm a very forgiving person. About a month before we broke up, it was very weird..but he gave me a whole speech about not being forgiving. Not letting people take advantage... or what not. I've had massive mood swings. I don't know how to feel. Today, I don't think I want to ever forgive him after hurting me.
BoredAgain Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 I want to delete him, but I don't want to send the message that I don't want to be friends later. You need to come to terms with the fact that your relationship - as you once knew it - is gone. If you want to be friends with an ex at some point in the future, that's something that has to be re-kindled. Leaving the door open a crack wont help.
Author hooliganization Posted December 11, 2011 Author Posted December 11, 2011 Holy Hell. We are living the exact same situation. Lived with my ex for 4 years, we broke up 3 months ago (all him) and I just found out my mom has breast cancer. In a fit of weakness I called him over the weekend. Although supportive he slipped up and called me by our old pet names. Although its tough, highly recommend cutting contact for a bit. Talking to him over the weekend just made things more difficult. Hey Kkay, I'm sorry to hear about your mother. The situations do seem similar. I agree, I need to stop all forms of communication. I know it'll get better, there's just a feeling of loss. It's hard to move forward when you can't... that would involve me abandoning my mother to focus on bettering myself. I'm so lost and confused right now. I don't feel okay when I go out at night, I feel bad having "fun" while Mom's home. That's when my mind seems to stay off of him. I'd like to do the same during the day, but I'm taking care of Mom. Our mothers need us right now.
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