rye Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 I am 25 yrs. old and I have been living with a 28 yr. old now for 7 months. Lately all he wants to do is hang out with his friends, so I moved out. He doesn't even seem to care that he is losing me. I am a very jealous person I do admit and at times it makes our relationship very rocky. He can't tell me how he feels about me except that he cares and he has chosen to go away this weekend. I have been crying my eyes out this past week even though I am the one who left. What should I do?
Leikela Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 Well, YOU left and he doesn't seem to care. It think that sums it all up. Maybe he's sick of your jealous behavior, which can be weighing on a person, and now he just feels relief that you're gone. Jealousy is a huge way to get someone to pull away from you. I would leave him alone for now, accept what you've done, and try to figure out why you're so jealous. Work on correcting that before attempting to fix things with him or move on to someone else. Do you have trust issues? Usually that is the root of jealously. Fix yourself and do it for yourself, not him, because he might not want you back and you don't want to be jealous like that in your next relationship and push the next guy away too.
vhshowdown Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 Rye, I am sorry for the pain you are experiencing. Maybe you should have held off moving out, and just went somewhere away from him for a weekend. Have you all had contact since you have moved out? I know it doesnt feel like it, but he does care. We all have different ways of showing our feelings for one another. Everyone has been telling me to utilize this time to better yourself, get your feet back on the ground, and let your feelings settle down. The heart ache is the worst at first, it does get better with time. Get yourself to think clearly, but dont force anything on him, cause he probably will rebel from you. Next time you talk, be calm, dont press an issue where a fight starts, and try to work on a compromise. Problem is, it does take 2 to tango, so if its all one sided, the heartache will just continue. I am slowly realizing this now myself Good luck, and know their are others out here who wish you the best
unreal Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 You are very right, that it takes two to tango and it cannot be only one-sided. It takes work from both partners to fix things. Sometimes the other feels they need time alone to think, yet the other one wants to work it out now. I wish I knew the right answer. If I did, I wouldn't be going through what I'm going through right now. I want to work things out but my girl broke it off for some time to herself to figure things out. I'm not sure how that is supposed to help the situation, but they say some people need that. Whether it works you back together is yet to be seen.
Author rye Posted May 28, 2004 Author Posted May 28, 2004 I have talked to him and he stated that he really isn't sure whether he wants to make it work or not, he says he is on the fence. Mind you he has lived with several girls and none have worked out. We are suppose to go to the movies tonight, what should I do?
Author rye Posted May 28, 2004 Author Posted May 28, 2004 Thank you for your responses. Although the first one was a bit harsh although I guess the truth hurts. I just wish relationships weren't so heart wrenching at times. With him going away, do you think I have to worry about him cheating on me if he is not sure what he wants right now?
vhshowdown Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 Go to the movies, have a good time. That right there is saying he wants to try, I would think. Try not to bring what has happened up. Enjoy the moment, show him what it is he is possibly giving up.....
zoomer Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 "You always want what you can't have" TRUE SAYING..... While you let him know that you want him back and to make things work....it sounds like he just doesn't. Sounds like he "cares" about you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. This is all easily said...extremely hard to do. Walk away He seems to be used to being the one that is "wanted" so much. If you acted as if you were grateful to be out and did not pay him any attention, go on with your life, find someone else (even if just to have dinner or movie) just GO ON...... IF he loves you, really, and wanted to make it work....he would be the one begging. You can not make someone want to be with you. Unfortunate, but you can't. You say he's "Riding the fence"???? OH MY, you don't ride the fence on your feelings and love. It's there or it's not. I really think you know all of this and I think you are battling between your heart and mind. Did he ask you to the movie? I would have said...Oh, sorry but I can't, I've got other plans. Talk to ya later. Don't mean to be harsh or hurt your feelings...I just can't stand to see people play with others feelings like that. Jealousy..is an ugly thing and will push others away. I've just recently had to deal with that one myself and finally realized what was making me that way....once you figure that out ....it is in yourself...if "he" treated you as he should, you would be secure, I think. Jealousy is unsecurity (my opinion) Good Luck to you and wish you the best.
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