mindedclear Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 So here is my story, I am 27 years old. My significant other is the same age. We have been together for about 5 years. Never married. We met as roommates, and fooled around but never seriously dated. One day, I found out that she was pregnant. To stick it out, we decided to raise our kid together but to not marry until we were sure this is what we wanted. At the beginning our lives were kind of disorganized. I wasn’t working; she was early making any money. I decided to change our lives for the better of us three. I went back to grad school, finish my Master’s, got a good job, and provided for my family. From the begging we knew we weren’t in love with each other (at least I knew she wasn’t). I knew that will be a problem in the long run but we will be able to manage it with time. She grew more on me with time. Her and my daughter became my priority. I gave up everything for them. Make huge sacrifices and worked hard (at least I though I was) in making her happy. We had a good relationship; we talk to each other, enjoy each other’s company, and have good rapport. The problem was the sex. She wasn’t passionate about me, because she wasn’t in love with me. She brought it up to my attention several times. I said I was going to get in better shape and change my habits to please her. It never worked. One day she hinted of why we were still together. She told me that she didn’t want to marry. That she like me and care for me, but she wasn’t passionate for me and couldn’t get herself to fall in love with me. Several days ago, she decided that she wanted out. That she deserved to feel happy about who she was with. That I deserved to be happy to with someone who really loved me. I know what she wants and I know breaking up is probably the best choice. But there is so much at stake. First of all, she doesn’t make any money. I support her completely. I just have an entry level salary that barely covers the bills of the house. We breaking up means the one of us have to move out. In this case it will be me. This means that on top of the bills of my house, I will have to start paying rent on my own. We just bought this house 6 months ago and I will like my 3 year old daughter to grow in her own home. Second, we do not have family or a close circle of friends were we moved. We moved here because of my job. We only have each other. She has proposed to live together for a little bit until she can get her life together. I can’t stand looking at her every day for a long period of time, knowing that she is throwing everything away. My SO has an expectation of who she needs to be with and I think that what driving her to make this decision. I am really confused and sad about what to do. Her and my daughters are all I have. I gave up everything for them and now that I care about her it seems she is taking it all away. What should I do about her? The house? Should I move somewhere close to friends and family? I feel that we need to talk it over a little more but I really don’t feel like hearing what she saids because it sounds so foolish, childish, and selfish and it makes me more pissed at her. I learned to love her after I didn’t. She is not the women I wanted for me but I stick it out and learned to live with it and make the best of it. I don’t know why it is so difficult for her.
robf1971 Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 We breaking up means the one of us have to move out. In this case it will be me. This means that on top of the bills of my house, I will have to start paying rent on my own. Sorry you find yourself in this situation, I've been where you are 18 months ago and have now reconciled with my wife, so please listen to what I say. However, sick, sad, betrayed you feel you need to start thinking clearly. BEFORE you do any moving out for g-d's sake consult a lawyer, in many countries/states this can be viewed as abandonment and your wife may get everything. I think there is a big chance that there is another man in the picture and you need to eliminate this possibility ie checking her cell bills, computer etc (keylogger). The reason I say this is because your course of action will need to be a lot harsher if she is seeing someone else. Do not ask her if she is seeing another man, she will just deny it and you will believe her because you want to. If you do find any funny business you need to say nothing to her for a couple of days, while you lawyer up and post on here to ask advice. Ohh and for goodness sake get a voice activated recorder and carry it on you at all times. There are a few guys on here who have saved themselves jailtie because of it. Angry women have a habit of using the 'calling the police' card.
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