BugaBooo Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 My husband and I have known each other for 18 years married 2 years. We have always been in a great relationship and marriage. Very little arguments and overall very happy. Ive noticed lately that we has been lacking in the communication department. He always asks me whats on my mind ect. But when I ask him he always says nothing. It seems like anymore we have nothing to talk about at all. Nothing in common. A few weeks ago I started the Light His Fire program. After the first week there was no respose from him. I have always complimented him and made sure he felt good about himself. He does the same with meat times. I just wanted to see if I could bring back the communication we had. I told him that I was so glad we fell in love ........ and that I wanted to let him know that I love him for everything that he is and I appreciate him and love him. All I got back was an ok. I always show him affection and he sometimes does the same. I never nag at him for things he does. Anyone have any tipe on how to get him to be more responsive?
SoMovinOn Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 How did this change come about - was it sudden or gradual? I would think it possible something external is bothering him, or, something like depression. In that case, nothing you would do could change it. So, that would be the first step - trying to identify if it's an issue with you or an external question. As for drawing someone into a conversation in general - don't make statements and expect a response (other than "OK), don't ask questions which could be answered with a yes or a no. Ask open ended questions which require a more detailed answer. Examples... Don't ask; How was your day today? (Fine) Did you have a good day today? (Yes) Better to ask; What did you do at work today? ... You might ask him open ended question about your future. In addition to getting him talking, it might provide some insight into his thinking. Ask him what he thinks about the two of you taking a trip together next summer. Where would he like to go? What would he like to do there? Ask him what he would like your lives to be like 10 years from now. ... Ask him about some potentially long term projects you'd do together, like something to do with your house. ... To help you figure out what's going on in his head, you might ask friends or family members if they have noticed a change in his communication with them.
The Blue Knight Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 My husband and I have known each other for 18 years married 2 years. We have always been in a great relationship and marriage. Very little arguments and overall very happy. Ive noticed lately that we has been lacking in the communication department. He always asks me whats on my mind ect. But when I ask him he always says nothing. It seems like anymore we have nothing to talk about at all. Nothing in common. A few weeks ago I started the Light His Fire program. After the first week there was no respose from him. I have always complimented him and made sure he felt good about himself. He does the same with meat times. I just wanted to see if I could bring back the communication we had. I told him that I was so glad we fell in love ........ and that I wanted to let him know that I love him for everything that he is and I appreciate him and love him. All I got back was an ok. I always show him affection and he sometimes does the same. I never nag at him for things he does. Anyone have any tipe on how to get him to be more responsive? Good suggestions by MovinOn. I'd also throw this in and I'm just winging it here but I wonder if this is a male mid-life crisis. Very normal for males that hit 40 to 55 or thereabouts to reflect back and feel like they left things undone or unfulfilled. They can be in area such as career, love, goals, sex, education, altruistic notions, children, etc. Is this a possibility? Has he said or indicated in any way some regret of late? If it involves regrets in love or sex you may not get the feedback from him since that isn't something he's likely to want to share with you. Has your bedroom behavior changed at all of late?
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