so hard to move on when ex got the GIGS and is mean to you!

[complicatedgirl]

Hi guys

 

So it's been over 6 months since my boyfriend broke up with me. It was really hard, let me tell you why. Well, for starters, we both moved in with our friends in a new state and had enrolled ourselves in law school. (we're both law students). Then, when we were all living together, having the same classes, and having the same friends. HE SUDDENLY BROKE UP WITH ME!

 

We were together since college (5 years to be exact). And, I, having been through a painful breakup before, didn't lose it. I let him be. Looking back at it now, I think he had the GIGS syndrome. But, the reason he gave me is this, "I don't ever see myself being with you for the rest of my life and I'm not happy anymore."

 

Analyzing it at first, I had no idea he had the GIGS. It totally broke my heart. He and I had planned to be lawyers forever. We are getting on with our future together and he stayed with me for 5 years then he suddenly said that he doesn't see himself being with me? It really sucked let me tell you. I had to see him everyday, I moved to a different unit in the condominium we're staying in.

 

I realized that it has been his first time to be away from home, first time to experience being with himself and not be with his family even though he's 23 years old just like me. All his life, his family was his foundation and now he's free!

 

And that's when it hit me. I think he has the GIGS. Anyway, back to the story. Those past 6 months, he always, always, would find ways to push my buttons. Really. Like he is happy to see me miserable. Like, he didn't invite me on his birthday, when he purposely invited all of our friends in the condominium unit to be with him! He is always, always flirting with other girls.

And even though it pains me? I don't make him see me miserable as much as possible. Though sometimes, when he is being REALLY MEAN, I fight for myself and tell him that what he's doing is pissing me off. He says sorry, but then, keeps repeating the cycle over and over. And it's been 6 months of being like that! Everytime he sees me happy or has new things going in my life, it's like he wants to compete with me in the "MOVING ON" phase. He's saying to everybody that he's completely moved on from me but I don't see him being with anyone else too for the last 6 months. Sure, he flirts in class. But being that I know him so well, I just know for a fact that it's all for show.

 

Please help me. My life is so complicated and confusing. Sometimes I have this feeling of wanting him back because he is the my first long-term relationship. And sometimes, I just feel hurt and confused as to what he's doing to me! I can't figure him out! Please help me especially those who have the same situation me.

Edited December 6, 2011 by complicatedgirl

[flitzanu]

this one is really easy.

 

 

--But, the reason he gave me is this, "I don't ever see myself being with you for the rest of my life and I'm not happy anymore."--

 

you're in law school and obviously intelligent. there's no hidden meaning here, it's plainly stated.

 

start believing THIS statement and quit talking to him, you're only prolonging your misery.

 

he's being mean to you because he's told you that he doesn't care about you or want to be with you, and you're still trying to force yourself into his life.

[geegirl]

I don't understand what it is you need to figure out.

 

When someone tells you what you don't want to hear, listen.

 

"I don't ever see myself being with you for the rest of my life and I'm not happy anymore." What about this statement leaves you confused? What does GIGS have to do with it when what you need to be focusing in on is a clear and blatant statement. GIGS, MIGS, does not change the fact that he is not wanting to pursue a relationship with you and you should not want to be with someone that is mean and makes you feel bad about yourself.

 

Life is complicating because you choose to be in denial and to feed into game playing.

 

Of course you want him back. You're emotionally attached but it's not justification to want someone back into your life that is mean and hurtful to you. You're addicted to him and the drama. You feel a need to be accepted by him so you cling on harder and longer. Don't confuse love for toxicity.

 

Listen to what he is saying and move on.

Edited December 6, 2011 by geegirl

[leoc1973]

Ok there is nothing that will wake a guy up quicker than another guy! Start dating and if he doesn't come running back he's really not going to! Gigs is more of a female thing. My ex and I were together 6 years. We are both intelligent and educated! I started feeling an "itch" I was thinking about other women wondering if being with her for the rest of my life was going to be it. Out of nowhere my ex dumped me. For the first 2 weeks I was relieved almost. I said to myself she will be back I have nothing to worry about, she loves me way too much! The minute I heard she was dating someone else my heart fell out of my chest! Now 7 months later I still would literally do anything to get her back... Think of this as a hall pass go out and date. Don't start sleeping with every one cause it will disgust him. Seriously tho dear if he doesn't come back after a new guy enters then he probably really isn't. And ya never know you might find someone better!

[complicatedgirl]

thanks for the heads up guys.

 

you see, what i wasn't able to tell was this. my ex was planning to break up with me because he is actually seeing someone. he is not going on dates with her but he is planning to be with her. i got this information from his cousin.

 

unfortunately, karma took its toll and the girl he took the risk for suddenly got herself a boyfriend.

 

i know i am such an overanalyst because duh, i'm in law school. and that's what irks me the most.

 

for the guy dumpers, what would drive you to say that a girl is not for you when there are no 'cold' signs of you ever breaking up with the girl?