nyckidd Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 I've been NC for over a month and i swear I feel like each day that does by I want to contact her more and more!!! Does anyone else feel like this? I've been reading a lot about this and it seems NC is for healing, but I can't help but feel the urge to talk to her more and more. It's been 2 months since BU
Chi townD Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Dude, this is normal. ALSO! You must do things to keep you busy...to help your mind from drifting off from reality into daydreming about her. NC is tough...no one says it's easy. But, I promise you, one day you'll wake up and she won't be the first thing on your mind. Just give it time.
Berlington Bob Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Very normal. NC makes it so that each day you can accept it more and more. It will only be a little bit each day but if you contact her you lose the progress in accepting its over and have to start over or at least go back a week or so. I get the urge to call my ex every day. Some days are much worse than others. Like the above poster said, find thing to occupy your mind. I called a former ex and started talking to her. Not that it will go anywhere but just having another girl to talk to and hang out with helps a bunch. Just make sure you don't get sucked into anything serious.
Bazamu Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 or if you're like most people on here, they ignore the NC rule and go a little bit out of there way and find all sorts of things you don't want to know (her having sex with someone or having a great time, while you are sad and lonely) I found that out from my experience in the past couple of days and its not a good feeling, its like getting your heart torn out again. Even though she is doing this, my retarded brain would still accept her, after the fact of what she has done. NC is best, but so hard to do. Just keep up your will power. Its hard, but probable
Author nyckidd Posted December 6, 2011 Author Posted December 6, 2011 or if you're like most people on here, they ignore the NC rule and go a little bit out of there way and find all sorts of things you don't want to know (her having sex with someone or having a great time, while you are sad and lonely) I found that out from my experience in the past couple of days and its not a good feeling, its like getting your heart torn out again. Even though she is doing this, my retarded brain would still accept her, after the fact of what she has done. NC is best, but so hard to do. Just keep up your will power. Its hard, but probable I feel ya man. I'm in a similar siuation, and it's like I would still take her despite all this dumb bs. I guess NC is the only choice.
geegirl Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 I've been NC for over a month and i swear I feel like each day that does by I want to contact her more and more!!! Does anyone else feel like this? I've been reading a lot about this and it seems NC is for healing, but I can't help but feel the urge to talk to her more and more. It's been 2 months since BU Of course you feel the way you feel. You are literally detoxing yourself from the attachment you have to her. It'll get worse before it gets better. One month is nothing. You need your drug so the longer you stay away, the more you want. You have to let these urges pass without reacting or giving in because when you do, you will then have to go back to where you started. And guess what, the urge and discomfort will be twice as hard and bad to overcome. Lather, rinse, repeat. Best to feel the waves of emotions, the discomfort, the knots, etc. and barrel through. The alternative is making contact, getting dissappointed and going back to where you started, only this time feeling a lot worse than you did before.
Zabs Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Just curious...but what's your 'image' like? I always find it hekpful to change..a small part of myself so I don't seem to be THAT person who went all the way through the BS knee deep It may be different for others...but I cut off all my long hair (and it looks REally F***ing good! ) started thinkng more about myself..and as morbid as it seems...How long is my regret list (meaning if I died tomorrow..what is there that I would like to do and haven't)...this helps to create more memories...more firsts that were perhaps...expensive and frivolous, embarrassing and exciting...something completely out of character..in essence the opportunity to explore the whole of who YOU are as a person as opposed to the wreck we allow ourselves to become when we only see ourselves in one casting role. Much love Zabs xx
Author nyckidd Posted December 6, 2011 Author Posted December 6, 2011 NC, remember she left, not you.[/quote This is true, I just feel like I contributed to the relationship failing so I should be trying. You know?
Author nyckidd Posted December 6, 2011 Author Posted December 6, 2011 Just curious...but what's your 'image' like? I always find it hekpful to change..a small part of myself so I don't seem to be THAT person who went all the way through the BS knee deep It may be different for others...but I cut off all my long hair (and it looks REally F***ing good! ) started thinkng more about myself..and as morbid as it seems...How long is my regret list (meaning if I died tomorrow..what is there that I would like to do and haven't)...this helps to create more memories...more firsts that were perhaps...expensive and frivolous, embarrassing and exciting...something completely out of character..in essence the opportunity to explore the whole of who YOU are as a person as opposed to the wreck we allow ourselves to become when we only see ourselves in one casting role. Much love Zabs xx Hmm I guess you can say I have the image of a really good looking guy who cares what he looks like. Not to be cocky lol, but a lot of people tell me I'm really good looking and I feel like I am too. I feel like I thought about myself and my image a lot even while in a relationship because that's just the type of person I am. But I see what your saying, perhaps I will try a new "look"!!
carlos1983 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 The best things I found from being dumped were to as quite a few people mentioned were to keep busy go to the gym more if you dont go already then sign up this then takes up some time makes you feel better about yourself from exercising. Head out more with friends to different parties meet new people. I really found that dating helped sign up online and start emailing you will get a few dates and that can only do more for the confidence
Fufu Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 nyckidd: Both parties contributed to the break up, be it dumper or dumpee. However, she made the decision to leave and give up on the relationship, not you.
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