ChipsnSalsa Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Recently went to a sports event with a girl... we had a great time and she told me she had a blast too. So fast forward to today, I messaged her and told her "I couldn't remember ever having such a great time with anyone and I had the best time in the world with her"... Did I say too much and act like a chump... Haven't heard back from her yet... thanks
ThaWholigan Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Recently went to a sports event with a girl... we had a great time and she told me she had a blast too. So fast forward to today, I messaged her and told her "I couldn't remember ever having such a great time with anyone and I had the best time in the world with her"... Did I say too much and act like a chump... Haven't heard back from her yet... thanks Too much too soon. I had a gorgeous female friend who, when I look back now, gave me so many chances to prove I was attractive enough to make her want me, and I blew it so many times by doing what you just did by being too eager and sending messages like that one, almost supplicating her just for allowing me to be in her company. A lot of girls aren't really attracted to that it seems. Don't worry though, chalk it up to experience and remember next time, play it cooler, and if you must message her, make it an offhand comment that's not so "I had a magnificent time xoxox" and more playful and offhand.
Author ChipsnSalsa Posted December 6, 2011 Author Posted December 6, 2011 Too much too soon. I had a gorgeous female friend who, when I look back now, gave me so many chances to prove I was attractive enough to make her want me, and I blew it so many times by doing what you just did by being too eager and sending messages like that one, almost supplicating her just for allowing me to be in her company. A lot of girls aren't really attracted to that it seems. Don't worry though, chalk it up to experience and remember next time, play it cooler, and if you must message her, make it an offhand comment that's not so "I had a magnificent time xoxox" and more playful and offhand. should I apologize for acting like a chump
ThaWholigan Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 (edited) should I apologize for acting like a chump DEFINITELY DO NOT APOLOGIZE !!! I did this too with the same girl - terrible move. Putting yourself in a checkmate position. She is now free to control the interaction the way she wants, and she will direct that interaction as far away from another date as possible. I'd say cool off and not message her for a bit, wait for her to reply, if she doesn't, forget about it for now (unfortunate, but might have to). I understand, she must be really hot. My friend who I wanted to get with was hot too, perfect for me in every way physically. I blew it by wanting her way too much more than she wanted me. Only reason I've stayed friends is because we go through periods where we just don't communicate, so we're like acquaintances. We get to renew the frame of our friendship every time we see each other again. Every time, I mess it up lol. Don't do the same. Let things cool. Edited December 6, 2011 by ThaWholigan
Author ChipsnSalsa Posted December 6, 2011 Author Posted December 6, 2011 DEFINITELY DO NOT APOLOGIZE !!! I did this too with the same girl - terrible move. Putting yourself in a checkmate position. She is now free to control the interaction the way she wants, and she will direct that interaction as far away from another date as possible. I'd say cool off and not message her for a bit, wait for her to reply, if she doesn't, forget about it for now (unfortunate, but might have to). I understand, she must be really hot. My friend who I wanted to get with was hot too, perfect for me in every way physically. I blew it by wanting her way too much more than she wanted me. Only reason I've stayed friends is because we go through periods where we just don't communicate, so we're like acquaintances. We get to renew the frame of our friendship every time we see each other again. Every time, I mess it up lol. Don't do the same. Let things cool. Gotcha... I'll just act like I have been really busy... the problem is I assumed she might want to get together again... bonehead move on my part!
ThaWholigan Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Gotcha... I'll just act like I have been really busy... the problem is I assumed she might want to get together again... bonehead move on my part! Don't beat yourself up about it, it's a mistake lots of guys make, now you know where you're going wrong, it's a minor thing that you got caught on. A guy that I get newsletters from (I think his name is John Alanis) says something like "100 atta boys = 1 aww ****". I think this is pretty accurate. So just keep going, and try to detach yourself a little from your analysis of your own encounters with girls. It helps.
Author ChipsnSalsa Posted December 6, 2011 Author Posted December 6, 2011 Don't beat yourself up about it, it's a mistake lots of guys make, now you know where you're going wrong, it's a minor thing that you got caught on. A guy that I get newsletters from (I think his name is John Alanis) says something like "100 atta boys = 1 aww ****". I think this is pretty accurate. So just keep going, and try to detach yourself a little from your analysis of your own encounters with girls. It helps. If she really digged me... are things lost at this point for the most part?
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Yeah...expressing how much of a great time you had with a woman or how moved you were is a natural but can be disastrous. Just treat her like she's the average looking, you're only kind of interested type of girl. The good news is if she really likes you too that she'll still get back to you, but definitely always play it cool in the beginning...after that women love to hear all the crap but I shot myself in the foot recently...I was caught off guard due to another emotional situation and I crossed that line, now I lost out on a very attractive woman whom I had great chemistry with... it happens man The best thing to do when you foul up is create some distance, she has to come to you at this point..if she doesn't then I'm sorry it's likely too late.
Author ChipsnSalsa Posted December 6, 2011 Author Posted December 6, 2011 Yeah...expressing how much of a great time you had with a woman or how moved you were is a natural but can be disastrous. Just treat her like she's the average looking, you're only kind of interested type of girl. The good news is if she really likes you too that she'll still get back to you, but definitely always play it cool in the beginning...after that women love to hear all the crap but I shot myself in the foot recently...I was caught off guard due to another emotional situation and I crossed that line, now I lost out on a very attractive woman whom I had great chemistry with... it happens man The best thing to do when you foul up is create some distance, she has to come to you at this point..if she doesn't then I'm sorry it's likely too late. I definitely appreciate the input... I hate it when i do the old face palm.. is it going to seem weird to her if I just cut off talking with her at all? I guess at this point it is my only option...
jobaba Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Recently went to a sports event with a girl... we had a great time and she told me she had a blast too. So fast forward to today, I messaged her and told her "I couldn't remember ever having such a great time with anyone and I had the best time in the world with her"... Did I say too much and act like a chump... Haven't heard back from her yet... thanks Yea, that would scare some women off. But, believe it or not, not all women play stupid freaking leverage games. A lot do, but not all. It's not like you told her you were in love with her or anything. If that's really how you felt about the night, she probably felt similar (which doesn't mean she likes you in THAT way). But, if she's a straightforward honest type, all might not be lost...
Meeks7 Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Yea, that would scare some women off. But, believe it or not, not all women play stupid freaking leverage games. A lot do, but not all. It's not like you told her you were in love with her or anything. If that's really how you felt about the night, she probably felt similar (which doesn't mean she likes you in THAT way). But, if she's a straightforward honest type, all might not be lost... Agreed with this post. I'd say you were TOO honest (there is something to be said about maintaining your cool, especially early on) but that might have worked with SOME women. Unfortunately, it looks like it DIDN'T work with HER. Next time, play it cool. Too much emotion too soon can scare off a girl, unless she's had a crush on you since Bush was president. It's like catching a fish. Wait for them to take the bait full on before you reel it in. Reel in too early and the fish makes a clean breakaway. Just chalk it up to experience and don't reveal too much next time. I've had to learn this myself the hard way. Girls just wanna have fun, as the song goes. Lightheartedness is fun. Too emotional too early is not so fun. Causing MOST (or at least MANY) girls to retract. Play. It. Cool.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Yea, that would scare some women off. But, believe it or not, not all women play stupid freaking leverage games. A lot do, but not all. It's not like you told her you were in love with her or anything. If that's really how you felt about the night, she probably felt similar (which doesn't mean she likes you in THAT way). But, if she's a straightforward honest type, all might not be lost... Good advice. Hopefully, she calls the OP back. If she doesn't then he's just gotta remember to learn his lesson.
daphne Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Yea, that would scare some women off. But, believe it or not, not all women play stupid freaking leverage games. A lot do, but not all. It's not like you told her you were in love with her or anything. If that's really how you felt about the night, she probably felt similar (which doesn't mean she likes you in THAT way). But, if she's a straightforward honest type, all might not be lost... This. The guy I'm dating told me he was excited to have met me after the first date. He didn't play games. That's what I'm looking for. He still occasionally lets me know how into me is, but not excessively. It's early. I do believe, however, that there are plenty of women that this would be too honest for. Tailor it to the type of girl you want. Or maybe wait a little longer, and be a bit more subtle about it. That should cover you in either direction.
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