carhill Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Thanks to LS, I see dating and relationships a lot more clearly and unemotionally than I ever have in life. Wonderful
nova_guy123 Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Oh...are you referring to me? You think that's it? The reason for my lack of success with women. My anger? You think young men have it EASY? Well, some revelations for you: 1) I am dating somebody right now (very casually and loosely). But nevertheless, I'm dating her and there's physical action. 2) If you were to ask her and just anybody else who knows me, I'm a kind, sweet and very non-shallow (that last one cannot be disputed, search my posts) person relative to other people. 3) Sometimes I do overreact when women say narrow and shallow stuff, I agree. I'll cool off and let it pass shortly. 4) I'm sure your daughters would think the same of me (see #2). But they would probably think I'm not physically attractive enough to date. So you're safe. Congrats to you... My friend, I am not talking about you. I'm talking about other posters on here with long histories of posting negative things about women. These things are often hate-filled and display an intense amount of anger. This isn't you.
GoodOnPaper Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 You think young men have it EASY? I thought the same thing when I read it . . . well, if it's true, I am glad for my sons' sakes. I don't want them to struggle like I did -- I plan to help them spot and avoid "nice guy" pitfalls very early on. LS is great for that sort of thing -- unfortunately, I was born a few years too early for such forums to help me when I needed it the most. So while learning exactly how/why I did everything wrong when I was single is valuable, coming to grips with it is a little harder. There are still several paradoxes I haven't been able to reconcile.
Feelsgoodman Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 On anything dating related really. Different types of people, different situations, age groups, etc.? Before I came to LS, I never really knew there were so many guys in their 20s and beyond who hadn't really dated all that much (or ever). My fiance was such a guy when I met him, but I thought he was a real rarity. I also never realized that there were guys who were self conscious about height and race. Height especially never stood out to me as a big deal, but I guess to some people it is. So anyone else have previously held beliefs about dating challenged after coming to Loveshack? Yeah, I've learned a few things from this board. First of all, women care about looks MUCH more than they are normally willing to admit. And by much more, I mean like one hundred billion times more. In fact, it's the single most important thing they care about, despite their protestations to the contrary. I also learned that most women are quite irrational and therefore easily manipulated. Guys who are bad with women don't understand this, and they try to appeal to a woman's rational senses (which is about as effective as trying to appeal to a raging gorilla's sense of compassion). Being good with women by definition implies being good at manipulating their emotions.
Feelsgoodman Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Another thing I've learned form this board is that women, just lime man, can be very insecure about their genitalia (in particular, the size and shape of their labia). I used to think that only men could be insecure about their private parts...not so, apparently.
ShannonMI Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 My friend, I am not talking about you. I'm talking about other posters on here with long histories of posting negative things about women. These things are often hate-filled and display an intense amount of anger. This isn't you. True dat. I've actually put a few of these posters on the ignore list because I get fed up with hearing them cry baby. The ones that purposely pick my posts out and then spew negativity and bitterness against females or me personally. Yes I'm a female AND I have different views, but don't take your sh*t out on me. It's VERY tiring to hear it, let me tell you.
jobaba Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 I thought the same thing when I read it . . . well, if it's true, I am glad for my sons' sakes. I don't want them to struggle like I did -- I plan to help them spot and avoid "nice guy" pitfalls very early on. LS is great for that sort of thing -- unfortunately, I was born a few years too early for such forums to help me when I needed it the most. So while learning exactly how/why I did everything wrong when I was single is valuable, coming to grips with it is a little harder. There are still several paradoxes I haven't been able to reconcile. I feel the same way. If I ever have a son (or daughter), I'll make sure they didn't go through what I had to go through. And I don't know how, but I'll make sure my son isn't short. All of the traits my parents raised me with (modesty, maturity, passiveness, over generousness, and general quiescence) have just destroyed me when it has come to the dating game. And they never talked to me about women. And if they did, it was "Be yourself and let it happen naturally." I've learned to deal with all of these handicaps and still managed to get some, but I'll forever be at least somewhat bitter because of the sheer amount of rejection. And I don't want my kids to be like that. Probably not having kids though. But in all sincerity, I wish the best to your sons. And teaching them about women as early as possible is the way to go for sure.
dispatch3d Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Yeah its changed my ways. Like before I used to be really ready to talk about all kinds of mumbo jumbo. Not so much anymore. Like all women are x or y, or girls don't blablablabla. I just don't care about that crap anymore. It's more like, where are the hot girls, what kind of guy do they like, etc. etc. I also don't take as much stuff personally as I used to. onegoal has easily been the best help to my game ever. Avoiding everything he might do is a great idea.
soulm8 Posted December 7, 2011 Posted December 7, 2011 Thanks to LS, I see dating and relationships a lot more clearly and unemotionally than I ever have in life. Wonderful Wonderful indeed!
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Not really. I still think most of the sexual braggarts on LS are full of crap, and are terrified to go to meetups. A learned a few things about female behavior. But too much of the stuff here seems to be b.s. like you say. A civilized post turns into a whiny bitchfest because people can't keep their emotions in check. I also learned that most women are quite irrational and therefore easily manipulated. Guys who are bad with women don't understand this, and they try to appeal to a woman's rational senses (which is about as effective as trying to appeal to a raging gorilla's sense of compassion). Being good with women by definition implies being good at manipulating their emotions. Pretty much. I think women are herd creatures who want to be told what to think.
Pyro Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 I used to think healthy, long term relationships among people my age were a thing of the past but seeing examples like Pyro and Citizen has made me more optimistic. They are a good counterbalance to the girl who want's to blow her boyfriend's best friend but stay friends with the boyfriend. thanks. I found it to be easy but not too many people feel the same way. Keep up the optimism.
LittleTiger Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 (edited) Posting here has made me realise how difficult most people seem to make things for themselves when dating. The angst that I read about on here amazes me! It's really not at as complicated as the LS population seems to make out! All the rules and regulations you impose on yourselves are beyond belief and I think if you all chilled out a bit and saw each other as equally flawed, but nevertheless basically decent, human beings instead of 'men vs women' etc, you'd all be a lot happier. JMO. Edited December 8, 2011 by LittleTiger
oaks Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 So anyone else have previously held beliefs about dating challenged after coming to Loveshack? Not really, but it's been an eye-opener to see just how f-ed up so many people are.
musemaj11 Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 LS has given me access to the true inner thoughts of women and made me realize and made me learn to accept the fact that not only some women as I previously thought, but instead actually all women can't help but judge whether a man is worthy of her love first and foremost by his material status. Its in their nature. Its permanently wired in them. As a hopeless romantic, Im extremely disappointed. But reality is what it is. I cant do anything about it and I can only accept it.
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 True dat. I've actually put a few of these posters on the ignore list because I get fed up with hearing them cry baby. The ones that purposely pick my posts out and then spew negativity and bitterness against females or me personally. Yes I'm a female AND I have different views, but don't take your sh*t out on me. It's VERY tiring to hear it, let me tell you. Aren't you the same woman who said she prefers male friendship to female friendship because women can be catty and jealous. You fail to acknowledge there is alot of bitterness against women from women too.
Pyro Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 Posting here has made me realise how difficult most people seem to make things for themselves when dating. The angst that I read about on here amazes me! It's really not at as complicated as the LS population seems to make out! All the rules and regulations you impose on yourselves are beyond belief and I think if you all chilled out a bit and saw each other as equally flawed, but nevertheless basically decent, human beings instead of 'men vs women' etc, you'd all be a lot happier. JMO. good points. When I was dating I never found it to be such a challenge......and no I am not saying that I was a ladies man because I wasn't. I was way too shy for that. There are going to be some people of the opposite sex that you may be attracted to but they are not to you in the least bit. That is just the way it is and it's ridiculous to take it personally. No such thing as being universally attractive. LS has given me access to the true inner thoughts of women and made me realize and made me learn to accept the fact that not only some women as I previously thought, but instead actually all women can't help but judge whether a man is worthy of her love first and foremost by his material status. Its in their nature. Its permanently wired in them. If that were actually true then I would be a lonely bachelor right now. I guess that I would be bitter of the opposite sex as well if I based the entire female population on the chunk of them that are shallow.
CocoaBrown Posted December 29, 2011 Posted December 29, 2011 It's best to take posters here with some skepticism; especially if they come off as a know-it-all. Like this kaylan dude. He seems to argue with everyone over the tiniest thing. Not only does he wanna argue with them, he seems to be trying to win an argument. He acts as if he has the best knowledge about dating/relationships. However, he recently made a thread called "Young, Lonely, Insecure, and Hurting." In that thread, he goes into detail about how much he sucks at dating: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t307814/?highlight=young+lonely+insecure He's just one of them many examples of people on the internet trying to come off as a dating know-it-all but in real life they are the lamest losers around. LS helped changed my perspectives on people who act like an authority on dating. In real life, most of these people are in a crummier position than the people they give advice to. Ummm, can you get out of my head please?!?! lol I was just telling my friend about this website and this is EXACTLY what I was talking to her about. Same thread and everything! But, I have learned the same type of people have some valuable things to contribute as well. You just have to pick and choose. From this site I have learned that men feel just as vulnerable as women do when dating. They are unsure about putting themselves out there at times too. I always thought they had it easier so it's been interesting getting things from their perspective.
Els Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 To be perfectly, perfectly honest, LS has given me a horrible impression about American culture in general. I am hoping that I am wrong, and that the general vibe here is completely unrelated to how many Americans truly think and behave. But I have a little niggling feeling that it might not be. :/
kaylan Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 It's best to take posters here with some skepticism; especially if they come off as a know-it-all. Like this kaylan dude. He seems to argue with everyone over the tiniest thing. Not only does he wanna argue with them, he seems to be trying to win an argument. He acts as if he has the best knowledge about dating/relationships. However, he recently made a thread called "Young, Lonely, Insecure, and Hurting." In that thread, he goes into detail about how much he sucks at dating: He's just one of them many examples of people on the internet trying to come off as a dating know-it-all but in real life they are the lamest losers around. LS helped changed my perspectives on people who act like an authority on dating. In real life, most of these people are in a crummier position than the people they give advice to.You are truly pathetic. You are trolling me in multiple threads? I am gonna copy paste my response to you from the other thread, so people can get where I was coming from. What you fail to realize is many of these discussions have different viewpoints and people regularly debate. All I ask people to do is properly back up their opinions and see things from both sides of the male or female track, without bias. Dude if you followed any of my posts and threads. Or really read my whole first threads post for comprehension you would have gotten the fact that I am not happy that I havent found the love I want yet. Its not that I havent dated around or found women to spend time with. Its that I havent found the RIGHT girl that id want to give my time to. Im admittedly picky and say so in most threads. Theres a difference between what you were trying to brand me as, and what I really am. You sought to brand me as a loser who fails at dating. Which is far from the truth. I date around and meet girls just fine, but have failed at finding a girl I could have a long term connection with. That "it" girl. Thats what upset me. I do fine at dating, but have trouble finding someone who fits my long term desires. I meet tons of fun girls who many guys here would prolly date in a heart beat, but im super picky. But I do know that the right girl is worth the wait and Id rather not be in a relationship where I wont be completely happy. Hence why is 9 years of dating, I have only had 2 serious girlfriends. And Im cool with that. I created that thread because I was going through a rough patch with a girl I had just started seeing, whom I actually really liked. I liked her enough that it caused me to reflect of the few women Ive really liked during my years of dating and it upset me. Also, I do not spend all my free time sitting at a PC. I have a smartphone which makes it easy to check this website and facebook. Plus, that does not take away from my dating life, seeing as dates occur on weekend nights. Most of my posts are during the week or if they are on the weekend, before the night time. It took me 2 weeks to get out of that rut of feeling down and pining over that other girl I was seeing where things went south. I accepted the situation, told myself "hey at least you got some good sex" and kept on truckin'. I decided to slow things down and stop trying to force a relationship to happen, and that until im a little older, that I would let life some to me and enjoy my dating life because loads more dudes have it worse than me. Around that time I was all upset, I had been pretty much involved with 2 different women, so "why complain?" is what I asked myself. I knew I did just fine meeting girls, and got over it quickly. You dont need 5 weeks to figure that out. It wasnt a matter of me turning things around, it was more of me realizing that I am lucky to have what I already have and that many others dont get my opportunities. It was me realizing that I am young and still growing and discovering myself. However, you decided to go the ad hominem route and troll me instead of arguing the points I presented here. And you sought to use ad hominem without reading most of my backstory in that thread and other threads. Next time, respond to my presented points, because nothing I have said to you, or in response to the OP, is without merit. I stand by my statement that you come from a bitter and one sided standpoint when you respond to threads on this forum. You hardly, if ever, seem to be as critical of the men and their situations, as you do the women. You always finger point at the ladies for the calamity men here face. However, if you reference my above posts on this page, you will see that I brought it to the ladies attention that they made need some self reflection. I did that in a non confrontational manner, different from how you usually present your opinions.
kaylan Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 (edited) To be perfectly, perfectly honest, LS has given me a horrible impression about American culture in general. I am hoping that I am wrong, and that the general vibe here is completely unrelated to how many Americans truly think and behave. But I have a little niggling feeling that it might not be. :/ Dont feel that way. Think about what this forum is. Most people on a dating forum usually are unhappy with their love life and come here for advice, hence this skews the content of the board. I myself recognize the negatives in life but know theres still a lot of positive out there. Ive met plenty of people who are different from the generalized views of online dating forums to know I cant let this stuff bother me. Those who are content with where they are in life are generally vastly outnumbered on relationship boards of all kinds. The real world in America is not like this. Edited December 30, 2011 by kaylan
El Brujo Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 So anyone else have previously held beliefs about dating challenged after coming to Loveshack? Yes, I have. I learned that dating is even more f'ed up and counterintuitive than I thought it was!!!
thatone Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Dont feel that way. Think about what this forum is. Most people on a dating forum usually are unhappy with their love life and come here for advice, hence this skews the content of the board. I myself recognize the negatives in life but know theres still a lot of positive out there. Ive met plenty of people who are different from the generalized views of online dating forums to know I cant let this stuff bother me. Those who are content with where they are in life are generally vastly outnumbered on relationship boards of all kinds. The real world in America is not like this. it is like this for them.
Els Posted December 30, 2011 Posted December 30, 2011 Dont feel that way. Think about what this forum is. Most people on a dating forum usually are unhappy with their love life and come here for advice, hence this skews the content of the board. I myself recognize the negatives in life but know theres still a lot of positive out there. Ive met plenty of people who are different from the generalized views of online dating forums to know I cant let this stuff bother me. Those who are content with where they are in life are generally vastly outnumbered on relationship boards of all kinds. The real world in America is not like this. I hope so. You are probably right, though.
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