El Brujo Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 On anything dating related really. Different types of people, different situations, age groups, etc.? Before I came to LS, I never really knew there were so many guys in their 20s and beyond who hadn't really dated all that much (or ever). My fiance was such a guy when I met him, but I thought he was a real rarity. I also never realized that there were guys who were self conscious about height and race. Height especially never stood out to me as a big deal, but I guess to some people it is. So anyone else have previously held beliefs about dating challenged after coming to Loveshack? Not really. I still think most of the sexual braggarts on LS are full of crap, and are terrified to go to meetups.
ThaWholigan Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Same here. I posted a picture here in a pictures thread a long while back and apparently I am one good looking cat. I thought I was pretty ugly for years, but when I left college and ditched the beard for Uni, I started to get much more attention as I got more confident. Unfortunately, my social skills weren't up to par to be able to deal with the attention, and I did not take advantage of any of it . I posted my (few) pictures online, and got some really good feedback (some bad, but one womans Tyson Beckford, another woman's [insert unattractive black dude]).
ThaWholigan Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Yes. I feel much too short, much too skinny and much too average to keep my gf now.. Don't worry about it. I am 6 foot 3 and weight just under 200 pounds, play instruments, knowledgable etc = no gf (ever) My little brother, 5 foot 6, can't weigh more than 10 stone = harem (almost)
runner Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 no not really. i've already been quite familiar with the game prior to finding this place. although a lot of the posts here have validated my suspicions on some things...for eg., it's always seemed to me that women handle rejection more gracefully than men, generally speaking... girl gets rejected: "*sigh* ..if only. oh well, better next time" guy gets rejected: "blardy blardy blarrrr !!! how could she not see the perfection of the male species right in front of her eyes ?! blar ! :mad:" or perhaps LS just tends to attract these sorts of guys- i dunno
Cracker Jack Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Yes, it has. I realize that I need to actually focus on enjoying my life instead of sitting around worrying about women all day. At one point, that was usually the only thing on my mind, but when I sit back and think of how lame I was while doing that, it makes me laugh. I always believed getting a girlfriend would be a victory. It was honestly my #1 goal for a longtime. Don't get me wrong--it's still something I'd like to do, but now I'm convinced that getting my life in order so I can be in a great position to do greater things is the goal.
ThaWholigan Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 no not really. i've already been quite familiar with the game prior to finding this place. although a lot of the posts here have validated my suspicions on some things...for eg., it's always seemed to me that women handle rejection more gracefully than men, generally speaking... girl gets rejected: "*sigh* ..if only. oh well, better next time" guy gets rejected: "blardy blardy blarrrr !!! how could she not see the perfection of the male species right in front of her eyes ?! blar ! :mad:" or perhaps LS just tends to attract these sorts of guys- i dunno I think these guys come out of the woodwork online mostly. I have yet to see this phenomenon become prominent in real life. IRL, I'd say there's an equal portion of girls terrible at taking rejection. The difference being that guys take it too far. In my honest opinion and anecdotal observation, men and women react differently when frustrated. Men get angry, women get.......well, kinda horny (surprise ).
cerridwen Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 no not really. i've already been quite familiar with the game prior to finding this place. although a lot of the posts here have validated my suspicions on some things...for eg., it's always seemed to me that women handle rejection more gracefully than men, generally speaking... girl gets rejected: "*sigh* ..if only. oh well, better next time" guy gets rejected : "blardy blardy blarrrr !!! how could she not see the perfection of the male species right in front of her eyes ?! blar ! :mad:" or perhaps LS just tends to attract these sorts of guys- i dunno Please. PLEASE let me use this as my sig. I love you, runner.
runner Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 although if there's one aspect of rejection that men and women both share, it's allowing it to alter their personal sense of self worth, and think poorly of themselves as if no one in the universe will ever want them. i know it's hard to not internalise it that way; i know i did at one point in my life, too. but if you can get over that, and not see it as so much of a negative, you'll be golden.
runner Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Please. PLEASE let me use this as my sig. I love you, runner. oh alright. but ! ..only if i get at least a 10 per cent share of the profits. /lurvs
Lonely Ronin Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 It's changed my perception of self. I always considered myself a 5 1/2 or a 6 on a good day, and i always thought like other here that's why I had mediocre success with women. After admitting that to a female friend, she mass texted a bunch of friends (still pissed about that); long story short depending on who you ask, I'm a 7 1/2 to a 9. More importantly I learned my personality is the real issue. I'm shy & generally closed off at first, but once you get to know me, I have a dominant personality, that tends to overwhelm people. I'm working on fixing some things, but i'm taking it one step at a time. So yea, LS has changed things, because it's made me think about stuff, and then talk to people about it IRL.
insertnamehere Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 To the OP's question: Yes. Particularly astonishing to me is the number of women who agree to a casual relationship in the hope that it will be a gateway to the serious relationship they actually desire. I've read a couple threads here where the core viewpoint was that men should somehow magically know about this super secret future serious relationship and not betray it even though it doesn't presently exist. I've never felt there was a real thing such as casual sex. But, I've been shocked a bit to realize how willfully women use agreeing to casual sex as the predicate for expecting a serious relationship. That floored me.
jobaba Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Hey Wolf, do you mind disclosing what area you live in? I certainly wouldn't mind living in an area with 99% asians. I mean, eventually, the chances would be in my favor right? hahahaha Jeez, SO much PDA. When are you guys going to bang already? There is so much of this tension taking over LS!!! haha But I am Chinese. Everything where you live sounds great but I am trying to find a chinese version of where you live hahaha. I'm going to try Chinatown in Manhattan and maybe Chinatown in Flushing lol. Are you willing to date FOBs? If you are, then you could hit Flushing, Elmhurst, and Sunset Park, Brooklyn. But Chinese FOBs have a different style and culture. You have to be into the scene if you know what I mean. Hot pot Friday nights and not much partying. Korean women are hot, love to drink and party, and are also VERY tough. But they are fun if you can score one. Honestly, if you are moving to NYC, there is a HUGE Asian American professional networking scene here. Like different parties all over the city every weekend. The scene has become nauseating to me, and I never did well in it, but that doesn't mean you can't.
jobaba Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 (edited) This place hasn't changed much of my opinions about women, just kind of confirmed that a lot of women are pretty picky and looks matter a lot. Nothing I didn't know before. But I also think this forum is not representative of most women. Because this site generally attracts a younger demographic of women who post here because they truly enjoy the game of dating and being chased. I post semi-regularly on another forum that is NOT dedicated to dating. There's a lot of older and married women on there. There's also women who aren't entirely focused on the game of dating, it's one of the things they comment on. So, more of the women on there tend to view relationships as more compatibility based. Edited December 6, 2011 by jobaba
Dust Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Yes, it has. I realize that I need to actually focus on enjoying my life instead of sitting around worrying about women all day. At one point, that was usually the only thing on my mind, but when I sit back and think of how lame I was while doing that, it makes me laugh. I always believed getting a girlfriend would be a victory. It was honestly my #1 goal for a longtime. Don't get me wrong--it's still something I'd like to do, but now I'm convinced that getting my life in order so I can be in a great position to do greater things is the goal. Think of fishing or hunting. There is a joy in just the act of fishing/hunting. Enjoy the hunt my friend. Enjoy trying to hook the fish, then trying to reel er in!
futuregopher Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 Are you willing to date FOBs? If you are, then you could hit Flushing, Elmhurst, and Sunset Park, Brooklyn. But Chinese FOBs have a different style and culture. You have to be into the scene if you know what I mean. Hot pot Friday nights and not much partying. Korean women are hot, love to drink and party, and are also VERY tough. But they are fun if you can score one. Honestly, if you are moving to NYC, there is a HUGE Asian American professional networking scene here. Like different parties all over the city every weekend. The scene has become nauseating to me, and I never did well in it, but that doesn't mean you can't. I certainly wouldn't mind a Chinese FOB if she's pretty and isn't using me for my citizenship. I don't know about Korean ones; I don't speak Korean except for a few food phrases here and there hahaha. That's the thing about Chinese FOBs. I rarely see a good looking one on campus. Hopefully it's different in NYC
lululucy Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 girl gets rejected: "*sigh* ..if only. oh well, better next time" guy gets rejected: "blardy blardy blarrrr !!! how could she not see the perfection of the male species right in front of her eyes ?! blar ! :mad:" or perhaps LS just tends to attract these sorts of guys- i dunno AMEN. This site has made me so much more skeptical of single men -- I have a few friends with women troubles and I always talk to them and listen to them and they never spout stuff like the stuff I read on here. Makes me wonder if they're hiding it or if it's just a different specimen of men. Also, I agree with the OP about being astounded by the height etc paranoia. I've only ever dated guys under 6' (though two were hockey players and several more have been gym rats so perhaps there's some sort of equilibrium I'm ignoring that I'm sure someone will be happy to point out). The shortest guy I dated was 5'6"ish, though he was built. I'm 5'9" by the way. My boyfriend now is self-conscious because he thinks he's too skinny (5'11" and 160 lbs, defined 6-pack, arms and back though so he's otherwise very lean) but he's definitely never had women problems before.
gaius Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 I used to think healthy, long term relationships among people my age were a thing of the past but seeing examples like Pyro and Citizen has made me more optimistic. They are a good counterbalance to the girl who want's to blow her boyfriend's best friend but stay friends with the boyfriend.
snug.bunny Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 The site as a whole, has helped me with introspection. It has helped me become more aware of my strengths and my weaknesses and to be more accepting of both. It has also helped me learn how to filter out (for lack of a better word) "crap". To accept that each of us have limitations and to adjust expectations accordingly. It has helped me refrain from allowing my emotions to drive my responses and/or be overly invested in a "co-dependent" fashion.
Anela Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 (edited) I found it a few months before my 35th birthday, and most posters confirmed my new fears about my age, and men. I've never been boy-crazy/man-crazy, but for a while now, I've really wanted to find someone good for me. I thought I had, and boy, was that a mistake. That, plus two deaths last year, and six this year (family members and pets), and the bull**** designed to hurt me from a certain douchebag, left me seriously depressed. I wasn't in great shape before getting my heart broken, and then all of that, so it makes perfect sense that I come here and hurt even more, right? sheesh. talk about bad timing. I've turned from a nice, sometimes quiet, sometimes sassy woman with great boundaries, into almost the opposite, and now find myself occasionally wishing that I could whack anyone who posts all sorts of ugly things about women over the age of 30 or 35. I'm turning into Maxine. http://www.fantasy-clay.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/more_from_maxine.jpg Some of you are refreshing, though, and I try to take peoples' experiences into account. Edited December 6, 2011 by Anela
jobaba Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 ...another lesson learned from Loveshack, circa 12/6/2011, 14:47 hours. Women are so narrow about what they find a turn off. One wrong step and you're off the cliff. Try as best you can to make yourself appealing but don't try and change yourself too much. It's more about playing the numbers... Damn, life's a b@tch. Literally and figuratively...
nova_guy123 Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 I've learned there are a lot of angry men in the world whose anger makes them unable to get dates and unable to understand how easy young men these days really have it. I have two daughters and I'm really afraid that one day they'll end up running into one of these men. Who knows what would happen given the level of vitriol they have.
lululucy Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 I've learned there are a lot of angry men in the world whose anger makes them unable to get dates and unable to understand how easy young men these days really have it. I have two daughters and I'm really afraid that one day they'll end up running into one of these men. Who knows what would happen given the level of vitriol they have. ^ this, very true. and scary.
Untouchable_Fire Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 When exactly will you be satisfied that I'm just as down-on-my-luck as some guys here? Ya know what my inbox contains... yes, messages from a few helpful guys, but all of them in relationships and NOT wanting to meet me, because they're honest guys who are loyal to their wonderful girlfriends. And in the six months I've been posting here, I can count the number of them using less than one hand. I don't believe that is a standard response. Most guys will quickly recognize your issues as making you a kindred soul... especially when they get to see how nerdy you can be. Wolfy and guys in his category just see a really cute girl that would ignore the crap out of them.... and THAT is what you need to take away from this. Those guys REALLY believe you are very attractive... and it makes your struggles seem unrealistic.
fortyninethousand322 Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 I don't believe that is a standard response. Most guys will quickly recognize your issues as making you a kindred soul... especially when they get to see how nerdy you can be. Wolfy and guys in his category just see a really cute girl that would ignore the crap out of them.... and THAT is what you need to take away from this. Those guys REALLY believe you are very attractive... and it makes your struggles seem unrealistic. It does make her struggles seem unrealistic. But, I do honestly believe her and feel for her. Not, because she's unattractive (because she's far from it) but because she keeps running into men who insult her and (seemingly) intentionally hurt her feelings.
jobaba Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 I've learned there are a lot of angry men in the world whose anger makes them unable to get dates and unable to understand how easy young men these days really have it. I have two daughters and I'm really afraid that one day they'll end up running into one of these men. Who knows what would happen given the level of vitriol they have. Oh...are you referring to me? You think that's it? The reason for my lack of success with women. My anger? You think young men have it EASY? Well, some revelations for you: 1) I am dating somebody right now (very casually and loosely). But nevertheless, I'm dating her and there's physical action. 2) If you were to ask her and just anybody else who knows me, I'm a kind, sweet and very non-shallow (that last one cannot be disputed, search my posts) person relative to other people. 3) Sometimes I do overreact when women say narrow and shallow stuff, I agree. I'll cool off and let it pass shortly. 4) I'm sure your daughters would think the same of me (see #2). But they would probably think I'm not physically attractive enough to date. So you're safe. Congrats to you...
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