millor86 Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 (edited) Hey, I desperately need some advice and would appreciate any comments. I'll try and keep this short & sweet for you. I am a 25 year old man working in the city. My girlfriend is 20 years old studying at uni 200 miles away. I see her 3 weekends a month and we have to commute, it takes me 2.5 hours drive to see her which is difficult. I dislike the commuting and she still has another 18 months of uni to go. It is our 2 year anniversary is in Feb. My GF has told me she does not want to get married until she is at least 28-30. Her parents were married young and divorsed. She resents her dad for it a little and it has completely put her off young marriage. I however, do not want to wait another ten years to marry as i'll be 35 years old then. I have recently realised that i love my girlfriend, she is my best friend, but i am not in love with her and i do not know what to do about this. She is very much in love with me, this is obvious. She is sweet, decent looking, trustworthy, reliable and caring. But i am no longer in love with her. I do not dislike spending time with her but i'm not sure what to do now. She is very fragile and cries easily, as i love her i cannot bring myself to hurt her and break up with her. I almost feel trapped in the relationship. I feel that if i break up with her i will completely ruin her. Whatsmore is that i've found myself recently lusting over other women. I have become bored having sex with my girlfriend which is a worry for me as i do not even see her too often. You'd think it'd be amazing sex only seeing her on weekends but it isn't, at least for me anyway. So any advice... Also related to my GF but slightly different. My GF often has very bad breath and i do not enjoy kissing her 80% of the time because of this. Should i tell her? I know that sounds stupid but i've put off telling her for so long now it would seem weird after two years to tell her this... I guess i sound like a gutless man not being able to dump my GF or tell her about her bad breath (no this is not a joke) but it's because i care about her feelings and she is so very emotional. Obviously i am concerned about making a bad decision as well. Edited December 5, 2011 by millor86
thepedestrian Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Man, Kissing is one of the most intimate things you can do with your SO and bad breath can really ruin this intimacy. You either have to trick her - give her gum all the time, brush your teeth with her, etc or just be upfront about it. Tough call.
Author millor86 Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 Man, Kissing is one of the most intimate things you can do with your SO and bad breath can really ruin this intimacy. You either have to trick her - give her gum all the time, brush your teeth with her, etc or just be upfront about it. Tough call. Yeah i do often try to give her a polo or chewing gum but she often declines and then i always try to give her a kiss on the cheeck. Or palm off her kisses. It's very frustrating. Would it be cowardly to tell her this over a text message. Doing so might have the advantage or saving her some embarrassment....
twinkles Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 If you are not in love with her do her a favour and break up with her now. She'll get over it. Don't tell her she has bad breath that would probably hurt more than you dumping her.
Author millor86 Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 If you are not in love with her do her a favour and break up with her now. She'll get over it. Don't tell her she has bad breath that would probably hurt more than you dumping her. Thanks - i agree with you on the breaking up bit. Would like to hear more opinions on the bad breath though...
sj3000 Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 You need to break up with her. Look at it from another angle - you're giving her false hope and basically leading her on out of this misguided sense of protecting her. Of course I understand that but look at the bigger picture. I agree with twinkles - there's no need to bring the bad breath thing up, especially if you're not in it for the long haul. If you told her it would only be another thing for her to analyze and obsess over (i.e. OMG is he breaking up with me because of this?!). Not necessary.
Author millor86 Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 You need to break up with her. Look at it from another angle - you're giving her false hope and basically leading her on out of this misguided sense of protecting her. Of course I understand that but look at the bigger picture. I agree with twinkles - there's no need to bring the bad breath thing up, especially if you're not in it for the long haul. If you told her it would only be another thing for her to analyze and obsess over (i.e. OMG is he breaking up with me because of this?!). Not necessary. And what do i do about the breath if i choose to stay with her?
EgoJoe Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Search the forum for the "Grass Is Greener Syndrome" thread and then post again here with your thoughts. Relax. We will help YOU choose the right decision for you. Go read, then post again.
Jono85 Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 And what do i do about the breath if i choose to stay with her? i'm curious why you'd stay with her given all the reasons you gave as to why you want out? imagine you were able to breakup with her without hassle. basically she didn't sob and cry, and you guys parted ways amicably. imgaine you could press a magical button right now and it'd be done, just like that. would you do it? in other words if the only thing that would keep you around is the fear of crushing her emotionally, then it's probs best to break up with her. she's only 20 and has her whole life ahead of her.
Recommended Posts