Need some cheering up

[corazon_de_melon]

My boyfriend and I have been together nearly seven months (in two days). This is quite a feat considering we were friends with benefits before and it was especially volatile relationship.

 

We've come a long way in these seven months and I am mad, crazy about him. It's a great relationship except every now and then I get these feeling of insecurity and worry about whether or not we're on the same level... well, we're not. And I understand this. I'm toning down my expectations, and things have been really nice up until tonight when we had a simple discussion that resulted in me feeling so deeply hurt and silly.

 

I'm a divorced mother of two boys. I have full custody and they are with their father every other weekend. I've been very clear about his presence around my children and currently it is minimal. The fact that they've even met him is a bit of a milestone. So the time we have is fairly limited and very special to me. And I'm a planner. He is not.

 

Tonight I told him that I would be free on Christmas Eve, and that I would love to spend some special time with him. He did the classic... "that's three weeks away... I don't know what I'm doing Christmas Eve... I'll let you know when I find out." Ok. Wow. I was hurt. And so I requested to end our phone conversation, because I really needed to calm down and mull things over without over reacting. But he insisted I tell him what's wrong. And I told him I was hurt by his response and he proceeded to get defensive and say, "Well it's just that Christmas Eve is a really special and important event for my family, and we always do something; I just don't know yet."

 

Which is understandable, but is it wrong that I felt even more hurt that he didn't invite me to spend it with them. Especially knowing that I would be alone? And it wouldn't be as though I'd be meeting his family for the first time.

 

And I told him this. And I asked about his friend who was coming in to town for Christmas, which just caused the situation to snowball further. He corrected me and said that no, the friend was going to be here for NYE... so they'd made plans to go out. And I proceeded to get more upset... because this non-planner, had made plans for NYE. And I know that he didn't intentionally exclude me; he just overlooked the possibility that I might or might not be unavailable. And I'm not, but I actually considered having him over for a countdown with the boys and I.

 

I couldn't continue the conversation anymore. He's just so oblivious.

 

I'm so hurt and sad right now. I just need a little cheering up. Maybe all I need for Christmas is a little bit of me time anyway.

 

And the only guys I've kissed on NYE for the last few years have been my kids. I'm certainly happy to continue it.