leoc1973 Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Ok feeling horrible just seen that the ex changed her relationship status to in a relationship. This is after she was acting to me like a reconciliation was in the future. I have been NC with her so I don't know if she is trying to get a rise out of me. She didn't tag anyone as her boyfriend so I don't know! I do miss her and I am not going to pretend like I am doing NC to heal so what do I do? Do I ignore it or remove her from my friends list. I think if I remove her now she will get said reaction out of me that she wanted. any suggestions?
Chi townD Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 I do miss her and I am not going to pretend like I am doing NC to heal so what do I do? That's your problem! I hate it when people get the concept of NC for the wrong purpose. NC is a TOOL to help you heal and move on from the relationship. It should never be used as a tool to try and get someone back. Does it happen? Sometimes. But those cases are rare. And a lot of times, those that try to come back are shot down, because NC worked and they've moved on! Dude, defriend her on Facebook. You don't need to be seeing all of that. I promise you, it's only a matter of time before she starts posting pics of her and this dude. Block her and do yourself that favor. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it is what it is. Heal and move on. Learn from your mistakes and apply those corrections in your next relationship.
Author leoc1973 Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 yeah I just had a conversationwith myself I think its time to move on. I just defrended her. Sucks I just don't know how a girl goes from you are the love of my life to 5 months later another relationship. Crazy! It just has ruined the way I view women now I don't know how I could ever trust another one always wondering if I am gonna get dumped out of the blue. One day she put me as her beneficiary on her life insurance(her idea) two weeks later... dumped!
BoredAgain Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 As Chi said, NC isn't a method to get somebody back. Even if they do hit you with the "I miss you and love you" speech after NC, you're essentially just letting them know that they can have you back anytime they want (which makes a re-dump much more likely). And I also agree with him, un-friend and block her on Facebook. Letting her think she got a rise out of you is a small price to pay if it helps you heal.
Author leoc1973 Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 Yes I know NC is a way to heal but it also seems that a girl always comes back after they really think they are losing you. Funny she comes around every month or so and makes sure I am still on the hook and then disappears for another month. I am done with the second chances side of this forum. From now on its all about break up and coping. I have to stop lying to myself feel the pain and let myself move on. No more with the do i have a chance if I do A. B and C? I think my problem is that I have dated about 15 to 20 girls since my breakup and I don't see anything remotely close the qualities I look for. I think if I had met that right girl this would be long over with my ex would be a fond memory of a girl I once loved. Like I said tho she plays the push pull games with me. And I fall for it every time! How do I get out of that rut? I mean she is intentionally keeping me hanging.
Kathyy28 Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Yes I know NC is a way to heal but it also seems that a girl always comes back after they really think they are losing you. Funny she comes around every month or so and makes sure I am still on the hook and then disappears for another month. I am done with the second chances side of this forum. From now on its all about break up and coping. I have to stop lying to myself feel the pain and let myself move on. No more with the do i have a chance if I do A. B and C? I think my problem is that I have dated about 15 to 20 girls since my breakup and I don't see anything remotely close the qualities I look for. I think if I had met that right girl this would be long over with my ex would be a fond memory of a girl I once loved. Like I said tho she plays the push pull games with me. And I fall for it every time! How do I get out of that rut? I mean she is intentionally keeping me hanging. Leo... leo... leo... It's been way too long my friend! Well you had helped me out a lot with a few others here when I was going through my break-up. I have finally accepted the fact that my ex is not in my life anymore. You know what helped me A LOT with the process of moving on? Deleting him off FB, making sure he had changed his fb password so I won't log on either. The very few times he tried to reel me in, I didn't fall for it. I wasn't falling for those breadcrums! And you shouldn't either! Also you shouldn't date other females until you've officially gotten over your ex. You should take your time to fully get over her, instead of trying to replace her. By getting over her doesn't mean you have to get under someone else either. It means you have to take your time to cope correctly and then realize that you could see tomorrow without her in your life. Hope things would get better at your end just like it has at mine.
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