Is this a case of GIGS on my part or just denial i cant make it work

[oren ish]

Ok been reading quite a lot of the articles in this forum to work out what may have happened but i cant distinguish a couple of things for my situation...

 

Basically I fell in love with a girl who has 3 children and is 5 years younger than me... she is charismatic, very beautiful and attracts many people to her in her life as friends... The problem is she is/was totally reckless as in health, money and the law which strained us considerably and tends to surround herself with yes friends that lead her into these situations...

 

we were so close before the backlog of problems accumulated...

 

After trying to straighten out her debts etc and her resorting back to the same behaviour I left her and moved into my own place... she begged me to come back and said she would fix her ways and I did but it happened again and again...

 

Finally i ended up leaving one last time and broke all contact with her which actually had the reverse effect... We have spoken briefly here and there and i told her i still love her but she pushed me away to which she has turned around and told me i left her when she needed me mostly and is strong enuff to get on with her life and show me what i thew away...

 

she wont speak to me now and has started partying even harder... I have always loved her deeply but i just couldn't take the roller coaster but i still care... I miss her terribly now and wonder if i could of done anything different... Each time i left i felt so much pain that i wasn't good enough to change the situation...

 

Im trying to work out what actually happened for her to change her mind so drastically...

 

Is me leaving a GIGS situation? Or am I just in denial that she has decided to move on... I would do anything to be with her if i could see away but shes just so stubborn and impulsive...

 

As it stands i am getting depressed over it all and i miss her but at a loss on how to evaluate this...

 

thanks

[BoredAgain]

No, it doesn't sound to me like you have G.I.G.S. at all. Rather, it seems like there were some very real problems in the relationship.

 

You said that she is reckless with her health, money, and the law... yet she has three children to take care of. Oh, and add that she parties hard too. From your description she comes across as incredibly immature and irresponsible. Would you agree with that characterization?

 

If so, then you definitely made the correct decision to leave.

[oren ish]

yes i agree mate

 

hmmm... leaving her was so hard... I know its the right thing to do for me and all my friends say the same , WALK AWAY, MOVE ON... i just cant get over it though...

Edited December 5, 2011 by oren ish

[Glove_slap]

Ok been reading quite a lot of the articles in this forum to work out what may have happened but i cant distinguish a couple of things for my situation...

 

Basically I fell in love with a girl who has 3 children and is 5 years younger than me... she is charismatic, very beautiful and attracts many people to her in her life as friends... The problem is she is/was totally reckless as in health, money and the law which strained us considerably and tends to surround herself with yes friends that lead her into these situations...

 

we were so close before the backlog of problems accumulated...

 

After trying to straighten out her debts etc and her resorting back to the same behaviour I left her and moved into my own place... she begged me to come back and said she would fix her ways and I did but it happened again and again...

 

Finally i ended up leaving one last time and broke all contact with her which actually had the reverse effect... We have spoken briefly here and there and i told her i still love her but she pushed me away to which she has turned around and told me i left her when she needed me mostly and is strong enuff to get on with her life and show me what i thew away...

 

she wont speak to me now and has started partying even harder... I have always loved her deeply but i just couldn't take the roller coaster but i still care... I miss her terribly now and wonder if i could of done anything different... Each time i left i felt so much pain that i wasn't good enough to change the situation...

 

Im trying to work out what actually happened for her to change her mind so drastically...

 

Is me leaving a GIGS situation? Or am I just in denial that she has decided to move on... I would do anything to be with her if i could see away but shes just so stubborn and impulsive...

 

As it stands i am getting depressed over it all and i miss her but at a loss on how to evaluate this...

 

thanks

 

"a girl who has 3 children and is 5 years younger than me... she is charismatic, very beautiful and attracts many people to her in her life as friends... The problem is she is/was totally reckless as in health, money and the law which strained us considerably and tends to surround herself with yes friends that lead her into these situations"

 

you leaving is not a GIGS situation haha. She obviously has some issues going on, things that are above her or so she would probably believe. the harsh truth? leave her, you're better than that. A pretty face is only a pretty face for only so long.

[oren ish]

Thanks for the replies

 

I guess i will go through the loss process and move on... I surpose her reversing the situation by not speaking to me was bound to happen sooner or later which kinda changed my focus... It rocked me hence why i was trying to figure out why...