seibert253 Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Ok guys, I need some advice. My FWW's friend is becoming a little "friendly" with her male running partner. The partner was the OM who helped destroy one of my friends M. ID bet the farm that the H of my FWW's friend has no clue that the weekend trips to run her half marathons include the company of this slimeball. To my FWW's credit, she see's where her friend is headed, has called her on it, and has distanced herself from said friend. Proud of her for that. Here's my problem. I've met the H of said friend, but dont really know him. I want to give him a ring and aware him of his W's activities, and who she's running with every weekend. But, there is no indication that an A has started, but my FWW's friends M is on the rocks, and she's prime for the picking. Even other members of my FWW's running club see an A in the making, and have commented to my FWW about this. Now, should I make the call, possibly stopping something before it starts, or should I butt out, leaving it alone. Thznks.
despicableME Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 I think you should let her husband know of this guy's track record. If you say the marriage is as bad as it is, then an affair will definetly happen, if it hasn't taken place already. They may be there emotionally already. If this is bothering you now, imagine when you find out they are having an affair. Let me ask you this- Wouldn't you have liked to learn about such a thing before it could take place?
jnj express Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Give him the info., and let him make the decision as to what to do with it.
LoveTKO Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 The way you've described it, it sounds more like a "cheating/f*cking club," not a "running" club. Whatever you do with regard to this other couple's problems, why on earth is your wife a member of such a group in the first place, where cheating and intrigues are part and parcel of the social interaction (most likely, the cheating and intrigues ARE why the club exists. The "running" part is just a cover story--you don't need a club to run.) Don't give your wife "credit" for "distancing" herself (whatever that means) from a "friend" who's a cheater/potential cheater. Not in the context of participation in a social group in which cheating is tolerated--after all this OM has done it before, everyone knows it, and the entire club is tolerating this flirtation/affair that is going on right now. This is a bad bad group of people for your wife to have any association with at all. Oh right--if you make her quit the "running" club that makes you "controlling." As an avid runner, I am a member of several running clubs, and about 30% of the participants are serious runners with the remaining 70% focusing on general fitness and meeting new people. I met this attractive woman about two weeks ago during a run who proceeded to tell me about her separation and cheating husband. So it's safe to assume that a sizable number of members of any social group are unhappy in relationships and looking to "hook up".
carhill Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Now, should I make the call, possibly stopping something before it starts, or should I butt out, leaving it alone. Friend of your past WS, whose M you aren't even really aware of? Not worth the 'public service', IMO. Not to mention a whole lot of hearsay. Instead, focus specifically on your own M and growing it and making it affair-proof. Other people's lives are their own.
confusedinkansas Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 I realize there will always be nosey busy bodies in this world. Don't understand it myself. I think most do it for the drama. Their lives are so boring they figure if they stir up something it'll make life a little more 'interesting'. (Infidelity OR Not) This "Issue" doesn't even involve you or your wife. Why would you want to put your nose in someone elses marriage? Gossiping & chatting amongst spouses is just what being married is all about. Doesn't mean you run to the other person every time someone tells you a little juicy tid-bit about their life.
Bryanp Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 If the roles were reversed wouldn't you want someone to tell you? In this instance, it is an act of kindness to inform you.
carhill Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Evidence clearly identifying the infidelity, such as a video or audio recording, sure, provided without editorializing. Anything else is hearsay. A lot of experience has taught me not to trust anyone's motives, even if apparently 'noble'. An exception might be the word of a long and trustworthy friend, the kind of friend I'd take a bullet for. The OP is, essentially, a stranger to the other husband; an unknown quantity.
Lucky_One Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 The other M is on the rocks? And you know this how? For all you know, the other M is on the rocks because the H is a cheater. He might not care. Stay out of it. You know nothing. You are speculating. I go out to lunch with male clients often, and my H goes out with female clients (lunch and dinner or even just drinks); if everyone who saw us called the other spouse to "inform" us that we were in the social company of a known cheater, then he and I would be paranoid messes in the extreme.
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