Lady_NJ Posted May 28, 2004 Posted May 28, 2004 I met this guy a few months ago, well I have known him since we were children as we grew up in the same neighborhood, but never really paid him any attention. We were often in each others vacinity but he was not someone I ever really knew existed to even consider. Well fast forward about 10 years and there is an interest there. I saw him in passing one day, for the first time after a long time away and I didn't even recognize him at first. Now when I saw him I still wasn't thinking of him in that way, but he did look alot different. We were both grown up - I am two years older. He is a friend of my sisters and maybe that is why I never considered him because he was my little sisters friend. Anyhow, we got a chance to speak one day and I was so blown away by his level of intelligence, his insightfulness, his sincerity. I was so taken by him that I wrote about him in the daily journal that I keep of my travels and so forth. I never thought anything to come of it. One day I was approached by him, he came up to me and let me know he had a great interest in me and I was still a bit shaken because it is like we are complete opposites. Even though we grew up in the same neighborhood it is like he and I are from two different worlds. I guess I am what you would call the "good-girl" I work and go to school, he went the other route but as I came to find out he is no fool just made foolish choices. To the point, I haven't been in a relationship or even felt any thing remotely touching in any way since my ex and I broke up. It has been 3 years. I am over him and I knew I had cut everyone off, i shut down emotionally. Then this guy comes along and I fought him tooth and nail and he was patiently persistent. The whole while just being so understanding....well one day he got through I gave in to my feelings for him. I felt something for him the first day we spoke, but wasn't sure about my feelings and so I needed time to clear my head and be sure of what I was feeling. I have a really hard time with my emotions and with telling people how I feel, that is something I am working on. One night we just sat and talked and I came to see that we are more alike than either of us thought. It was just really intense, we made plans to go out that following weekend but due to a mix up in my schedule it didn't happen, i regret that and wanted to reschedule but we never got a chance to. And to make matters worse, just as I began to feel for and open up to this guy it seemed he pulled away, and this alarmed me. It scared me a bit and made me back away some. I don't understand why he pulled away, is it something that I did, I didn't do anything. My schedule just kept me busy, we both were as we were always passing each other and able to say something in passing but I tried in my way to let him know how I was felt about him. I gave him my # he never called, but asked when constantly when he saw me when I had time, I told him to give me a call, or I would make time and tell him to come by and he said he would then didn't. But each time he saw me it was always the same thing, when could he see me, when did I have time, I soon began to feel like I was being toyed with. I had these feelings raging in me about how I felt for him, but then when I extend myself it was taken for granted -- or at least I felt -- RIght now we are apart again - location wise, and I find myself thinking about him. I used to be so good at cutting myself out from those I didn't want to feel anything for, it was a defense move for me, but with this guy I can't explain it is so different, I want to feel for him, I want to talk about him, I was to talk to him. I tried writing once and got no reply, that just let me know that maybe I should just hang it up, I am going to leave the situation alone. But I am still puzzled as to what took place and why. Any advice or idea?
pitprincess Posted May 29, 2004 Posted May 29, 2004 Originally posted by Lady_NJ It was just really intense, we made plans to go out that following weekend but due to a mix up in my schedule it didn't happen I think he worried that you really didn't want to advance your friendship. Sometimes when we make plans with men they tend to think because of what ever reason.... We didn't go.. That would be my guess.. and its just a guess.
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