Eternal Sunshine Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 I had a really bizarre weekend. Me and bf don't really have couple friends. Most of our friends are single and few years younger than us. We see them occasionally. On Sat night, we were both approached by a few friends who told us that our relationship is "abnormal". They told us that we are always together and spend too much time touching in public places. We don't make out or anything, we just like to hold hands and hug. We also almost always sit together and walk together. I didn't think there is anything wrong with that. They said "Really guys, you live together can you cut all that out now?". It wasn't really said in a joking manner. We also never go to clubs or bars separately but are keen to join our groups of friends together. They say that there is this bubble around us and we are not letting anyone else in (WTF). Anyhow, after a few drinks (me and bf didn't drink) and it was in a bar setting - this guy (a friend of my bf's but not a close friend) - deliberately drops a glass directly in front of my feet. The glass shattered and a small piece of glass lodged into my foot. It wasn't a bad cut and bf got the glass out. He confronted this friend and told him off and basically told him that as far as he is concerned they are not friends anymore. Even my bf's brother told him off and was protective towards me. Others were just kind of laughing I was really touched by my boyfriend's protectiveness. He is a nice and gentle guy (who is generally conflict avoidant) but this is the first time that I saw this other side of him I guess my question is: is it really that abnormal to spend so much time together and to touch a lot? Even if we are both happy with it? Do they have even a small point? I really feel no need for more space and neither does my boyfriend. For reference, we have been together for 10 months and living together for 3.
anne1707 Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 For once ES, I can honestly say that I personally think you and your bf are on the right track here
allina Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 I don't think that sounds abnormal at all. I spend a lot of time with my husband and we often kiss, hug and hold hands in public. An older woman looked at me funny for grabbing his ass at Target the other day but other than that we haven't had complaints. The only abnormal thing is that guy dropping the glass on your foot, did something happen to make him do that?
johan Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 (edited) He was planning to bend down and pick up the pieces and maybe sneak a peek. I've always stayed close with my women when we're in public. Little touches and stolen kisses are nice, as if we have a little sanctuary we can visit that goes with us everywhere we go. It's better not to overdo it of course. People shouldn't really be forced to go there with you. Edited December 5, 2011 by johan
xxoo Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 I Do they have even a small point? Nope. Sounds normal to me!
choppedkittens Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 (edited) I hate to say it because it always seems a bit juvenile but this is a case in which "just jealous" seems justified. My boyfriend and I are like this. When we're around each other the rest of the world sort of slips away. It's trendy nowadays to think this type of relationship is dysfunctional, and it probably is in the extreme, but it's the kind of relationship I like. Outside friends are important as well but I basically want my SO to share in most of my experiences. My grandmother and grandfather had one of the healthiest, happiest relationships I know and they were totally inseparable for 62 years. Relationships aren't one size fits all. Don't let other people, who are often talking out of their arses or "just jealous", dictate what's normal in your life. Edited December 5, 2011 by choppedkittens
Nexus One Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 If your friends feel uncomfortable with hanging out with a couple, then they shouldn't be hanging out with a couple in the first place. And the part where the guy dropped his glass intentionally and hurt you is completely out of line. Also the fact that your friends thought that was a laughing matter is out of line. What the hell is up with them? Are you sure you're giving us the whole story here ES? Because that's really immature behavior from your "friends". Perhaps you should reconsider if some of them are actually your friends. Friends don't act like this.
LexiB Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 (edited) Abnormal? No. Annoying as f*ck (and a even a bit inconsiderate) to your single friends around you? Absolutely. While you're not doing anything wrong and your friends probably are a bit jealous, honestly, why not just tone it down if it'll make them more comfortable? You remember what it's like to be single, especially around the holidays. If the two of you are deliriously happy that's great, but you don't need to rub your relationship in their faces...and having been in their position, that's exactly what it can feel like, even though you don't mean it to. It's a couple hours out of your life on an infrequent basis, by your own account. I think you'll survive. Sidenote: the glass situation is another issue altogether. Dude was outta line and if *your* friends actually thought that was funny, perhaps it's time to seek new ones... Edited December 5, 2011 by LexiB
Nexus One Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Abnormal? No. Annoying as f*ck (and a even a bit inconsiderate) to your single friends around you? Absolutely. While you're not doing anything wrong and your friends probably are a bit jealous, honestly, why not just tone it down if it'll make them more comfortable? You remember what it's like to be single, especially around the holidays. If the two of you are deliriously happy that's great, but you don't need to rub your relationship in their faces...and having been in their position, that's exactly what it can feel like, even though you don't mean it to. It's a couple hours out of your life on an infrequent basis, by your own account. I think you'll survive. Sidenote: the glass situation is another issue altogether. Dude was outta line and if *your* friends actually thought that was funny, perhaps it's time to seek new ones... While you might have a point, they certainly didn't have to push it to the point where ES got hurt and then laugh about it. If what ES said is true, then they weren't just "a bit jealous". They went too far. There are other ways to convey to someone that you feel uncomfortable by their behavior.
Titania22 Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 It sounds wonderful what you have ES, don't let those "friends" bring you down. They will act just the same when they find the right person.
runner Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 wow that's pretty crazy. go find some mature friends who are coupled up. and no, it's not abnormal. they're just jealous.
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