SUZIQ24 Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 I'm a 29 yr old dating a 37 yr old divorced man with 5 yr old girl and 3 yr old boy since the end of July. He is the sweetest, kindest, attentive guy I've been with. However, we have some problems mainly due to the fact that I live in London and he lives in Paris. To make matters more complicated, his kids live in Germany (his ex is German). Due to the distance between us, we have only managed to see each 4 or 5 times (ranging from 3 days to a week stay). Although we Skype/MSN and text each other as much as we can its so difficult for us to see each other as he has a very demanding full time job and goes to Germany every weekend to see his kids. He says that there is nothing left between him and his ex and that they're friends although he does admit that they have problems sometimes. He stays at his ex's house from Friday evening till Monday morning. He insists that his ex stays with her parents. I can't help feeling that i have to put alot of trust in him to believe that there really isn't anything going on between them. I wonder if she doesn't always go to her parents house and that they spend the weekend playing happy family's together. I asked him this weekend if he was looking after the kids alone and he simply didn't answer my question. There are also long gaps in between our communication but maybe he dealing with 2 kids and might not have the time. I get paranoid though that he is simply with her and won't answer my texts. She isn't dating anyone and from what I can tell and hasn't really since they divorced 4 years ago. She got pregnant with their Son when they were separating. I'm not if this was unplanned or her way of getting him staying with her. He seems uncomfortable to talk about her but from what he has told me she changed when they got married. She did not adapt well living in France and resented him when she got Pregnant as she had to stop working as a Flight Attendant on long haul. She also hated the fact that he has 2 businesses and has to work late sometimes - grrrrr i wish i met him first!! He spends every weekend there as he says he is wants to make sure the kids are keeping up with their French. He has recently enrolled them in a French Language school, so I'm hoping perhaps he may see them every other weekend now. He splits the school holidays with his wife so the weekends are not his only time to his kids. Although, perhaps its too early for me to bring this up and I feel so insensitive. I understand his kids are his priority but sometimes I think even seeing him every other weekend is the only way we can build our relationship. Seeing him every couple of months isn't enough but I think it suits his schedule and I don't know if he will change this. He did have a GF for 2 years who regularly complained about this and eventually left him. This was before his kids were in the French school so perhaps I have a better chance. Do you think perhaps its time to have a deeper conversation about this with him or is it too early?? We are really developing a deep affection for one another and he even has told me he loves me and that he would hate to lose me but I cant help thinking 'AM I NUTS, THIS IS NEVER GOING TO WORK IN THE LONG TERM!!!" I can't help but like him so much. Not only is he kind and loving but there is a real maturity to him and he makes me feel like the only girl that exists - I've never been taken care of so well. I have to admit that its bliss when I'm with him. I have him cooking me wonderful French food, buying me Macrons and going out to buy fresh croissants every morning and the sex is AMAZING..which leaves me wanting more and more of him. I would really appreciate any advise. None of my friends have dated men with children or even had a long distance relationships Thank you!
FitChick Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 He may still be married but he and his wife have an open marriage as long as she is supported in the lifestyle she has become accustomed to. Ask him where and when he got his decree absolute then google to find out for sure. Unless he can present the actual document.
Author SUZIQ24 Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 Thanks for the reply.. The fact that he may still be married with her is one of my main concerns
Author SUZIQ24 Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 Thanks for your reply. I really need to talk to him. I hope that this is not the truth.
FitChick Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Thanks for your reply. I really need to talk to him. I hope that this is not the truth. Don't just take his word for it. Ask for proof in the form of court papers.
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