headsashed Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Im actually pretty nervous about this,plus i still have feelings for my ex so im not going looking for a relationship,just going to enjoy myself. Its funny how i got this date too,i commented on a friends status about 2 hour ago and this girl also commented,was about messaging or something so i piped up and said ill message you "that girl" and she told me to,so i did and we been talking for past few hours and we decided to go bowling tomorrow. Now how do i act? im going to be myself but i still feel for my ex i know not to mention her at all too. Too much has happend recently with my ex,too many mistakes and its about time i did move on. She keeps playing her games too,i made this huge mistake of sleeping with her but i didnt actually feel hurt after so thats a good thing. Who knows,maybe this date tomorrow will help me finally move on with my life?
M2155 Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 You don't act. You be yourself like you said. If you're having a good time with someone new, you probably won't be sitting there thinking about your ex. Yes, it's just a good time with a new friend that doesn't control you...how nice for a change:) I will be home praying that your ex doesn't text you asking who you are with! Better yet, keep the phone off. Have fun!
futuregopher Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Hey it seems like you're on the right track! You should check this video out. He's primarily geared towards helping asian guys but I think this one is pretty good for all people going on first dates haha. good luck man!
Author headsashed Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 You don't act. You be yourself like you said. If you're having a good time with someone new, you probably won't be sitting there thinking about your ex. Yes, it's just a good time with a new friend that doesn't control you...how nice for a change:) I will be home praying that your ex doesn't text you asking who you are with! Better yet, keep the phone off. Have fun! thankyou,im not even going to take my phone because ive a funny feeling my ex will be contacting me,she now has a week off work. This new girl is coming to my house at 7:30 and im super nervous,wtf lol,im actually excited too. Im just gonig to go out and enjoy myself tonight,if something happens then it happens,maybe this is what ive needed now.
Author headsashed Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 date is off now she just txt me and told me she isnt well,and can we make it another day,i said ok,grrrr lol
Lonely-lulu Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Oh dear! Don't be too disappointed, it just gives you more time to brush up on your sparkling conversational skills and witty jokes!! It will happen, just don't put all of your emotional efforts into each date. Remember you're not long out of a long relationship and you have become used to intimacy and you'll probably find you will go on a few dates where you think, erghhh my ex never did that or said that etc. But at other times you'll think ooohhh that's nice my ex wouldn't have done something like that! A little bit of you is gone and you need to fill the space back up before you will meet someone you will really enjoy spending time with. I've read your previous posts though and you're doing ace! Keep it up!
Author headsashed Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 Oh dear! Don't be too disappointed, it just gives you more time to brush up on your sparkling conversational skills and witty jokes!! It will happen, just don't put all of your emotional efforts into each date. Remember you're not long out of a long relationship and you have become used to intimacy and you'll probably find you will go on a few dates where you think, erghhh my ex never did that or said that etc. But at other times you'll think ooohhh that's nice my ex wouldn't have done something like that! A little bit of you is gone and you need to fill the space back up before you will meet someone you will really enjoy spending time with. I've read your previous posts though and you're doing ace! Keep it up! ive been on the phone to the new girl for over 3 hours lol,she seems genuine enough and she isnt well today,stomach problems,she got mri scan tomorrow,so i do believe she's tellign me the truth. She also said she might come to mine tonight to watch a dvd but if not we can go out tomorrow if she feels any better. Ive not got my hopes up for anything and im just gonig to have fun,its a simple as that.
Chi townD Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 Hey Head...haven't heard from ya in a while! So, what's up, dude! Last I heard, you were moving to a new place that was disclosed information to your Ex. Please tell me she doesn't know where your living now. And I think you answered your own question. Don't read too much into the date thing. Just have fun! Even if it's just chillin out and watching a DVD.
Author headsashed Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 Hey Head...haven't heard from ya in a while! So, what's up, dude! Last I heard, you were moving to a new place that was disclosed information to your Ex. Please tell me she doesn't know where your living now. And I think you answered your own question. Don't read too much into the date thing. Just have fun! Even if it's just chillin out and watching a DVD. hey chi town,im not bad pal,hows you? .. sadly my ex knows where i live,i never told her either but within a week of moving she found out where i lived and just turned up,things have been up and down from there and i made 1 huge mistake and slept with her but tbh i didnt feel hurt which was strange,she ekpt giving me "im confused" BS, so ive told her to go sort her head out as its starting to do my head in,she still contacts me etc but nothing major,apart from ringing me this morning from her dads phone haha,kind of glad she did tbh cos she told me she was going to the local tonight as its her dads birthday and i was planning on taking this new girl bowling then to my local for a night cap,thank god i aint now haha,apart from that things are looking up for me at long last
Author headsashed Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 So are u just going to ignore my comment? This is how you repay your parents!!??. By sleeping with her! What is wrong with you!? My god there is so much I could say about you but I will get banned for sure. You are so delusional Headsashed. You either have no moral compass (i.e. a bad person) to let your parents down like this or you need the help of a professional. If she said "I want you back", the sad thing is you would go back. No one on this site can help you, because you don't want to help yourself. Dont every judge me,if u read what i put i actually said i made a huge mistake,we all do it, love is a crazy thing that we learn from..we all make mistakes and ive made 1,**** happens,i come on this site for help,sometimes i listen and sometimes i dont but u know what,ive gone from suicidal to getting a new date,even though i still love my ex,that is some improvement for me,and thats thanx to this site...i will still make mistakes but i will learn from them,even if that means i took my ex back. which i wont. i mess up at times,dont we all? but dont ever judge someone from what they type,we all have feelings we cannot control
Mack05 Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 (edited) I said I wouldn't post (and I wont after this) but headsashed you are so infuriating! You made a promise to your parents and broke that promise. You made it easy for her to find you and you know this to be true. If you once felt suicidal I am sorry to hear that (truly), but surely its time to see a professional. Your future happiness is at stake. When are you going to help yourself?. Say to your ex I can never see you again and stick to it NO MATTER WHAT. Don't answer her and if she persists contact the police. It is up to you to help your self. Moving house and then sleeping with your 'crazy' ex is not progress. You are fooling yourself if you think it is. Breaking a promise to your parents is one of the lowest things a person can do. If you are capable of that, then I doubt you will ever have the courage (yes courage) to leave this part of your life (her) for good. This woman is not emotionally healthy, she will never be good for you but as was said above you are addicted to the drama she provides. Progress! You must be joking me.. Edited December 5, 2011 by Mack05
Author headsashed Posted December 5, 2011 Author Posted December 5, 2011 I said I wouldn't post (and I wont after this) but headsashed you are so infuriating! You made a promise to your parents and broke that promise. You made it easy for her to find you and you know this to be true. If you once felt suicidal I am sorry to hear that (truly), but surely its time to see a professional. Your future happiness is at stake. When are you going to help yourself?. Say to your ex I can never see you again and stick to it NO MATTER WHAT. Don't answer her and if she persists contact the police. It is up to you to help your self. Moving house and then sleeping with your 'crazy' ex is not progress. You are fooling yourself if you think it is. Breaking a promise to your parents is one of the lowest things a person can do. If you are capable of that, then I doubt you will ever have the courage (yes courage) to leave this part of your life (her) for good. This woman is not emotionally healthy, she will never be good for you but as was said above you are addicted to the drama she provides. Progress! You must be joking me.. i make you laugh? right,ive made progress,i no longer yearn for this girl 24/7 like i used to do,i can go days without talkin to her and it doesnt bother me,yet i make 1 huge mikstake and sleep with her after a few drinks yet im delusional and a joke. cmon,its life,i made it easy for her to find me? how the **** did i do that? did i tell her my addy? no, did i tell my friends? ofcourse i did,they are my friends,but obviousley 1 must have told her. i couldnt stop that,yeah i could have stopped her from walking in and in the end i DID.. isnt that progress too? even if im 1% over her then thats progress,you know what,if all you want to do is slate me instead of help then ill leave here,simple as that. I post my story so others can learn from my mistakes but i dont deserve the crap that i get,ive made mistakes and no doubt ill make more, WE LEARN. no 1 is perfect,and we all have feelings, some just learn faster than others. In the end i will learn from what ive done,and have any of u actually considered that this might actually be my 1st every relationship? obviousley not,judge me all you want now because im done with this site.
Mack05 Posted December 6, 2011 Posted December 6, 2011 (edited) You have never heard the expression "You must be joking"??. It is not meant in the laughing/joking sense, quite the opposite actually. My intention was not to slate. My intention is to try and say something to you that will snap you out of the trance, this woman has placed you in. In my opinion your attitude is all wrong. Love will make you do 'crazy' things is not a good enough excuse to break a promise to your parents. Or to say "I made mistakes and will make more" is just more excuses to keep your bond to her. If you can break a promise so easy to your parents, what else are you capable of? Do you have any remorse for breaking your promise to your parents? I have been told many a time I am black and white and I can see people's point there. But, I do have a moral compass. I wouldn't break a promise to my parents if they did that for me. At some point you need to reel yourself in and take a long look in the mirror. The people on this site, your parents are trying to help you. Not slate you. I don't buy the line "I post my story so others can learn from my mistakes". Don't you have to learn from your own mistakes first? You clearly have not learnt. To learn from your mistakes is not telling your friends (for a few months) where you new house is because you know there is good chance that your ex will find out. If you friends are real friends, they would have understood. Once your ex did find out, that door of the house should never have been opened. Once it was opened, you should never have slept with her. When I read the above paragraph back, I find it hard to see the progress you are referring too. Despite everything this woman has put you through, if she wanted you back she could have you back. That is not progress. Progress is confessing to your parents what you have done (never breaking a promise of any description again) and then shutting her out of your life. That right there is REAL progress. The fact you want to leave this site (which has supposedly helped you) because a few posters have challenged you and your attitude, tells me all I need to know about you as a person. I wish you well as I am sure every poster here does. I'm sure you will get over this, but you seem to want to make it as difficult as possible for yourself. Edited December 6, 2011 by Mack05
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