StrayDogFreedom Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 It was over 3 years ago when this girl, let's call her Daphne, broke up with me about 3 months she found out I cheated on her. It was the first time I had ever done such a thing in my life and will forever be my last. We were both in college during this time. We had a lot of problems, however, the vast majority of them were because of my own issues and insecurities. I saw a lot of what I did wrong and set out to fix them. Soon I became involved with someone else. I was with this other girl for 2.5 years and we became engaged. The engagement was broken after a year later and I was left devastated. However, it was Daphne that came back into my life after I sent her a long letter of describing what had happened to me and how I regret all the terrible things I did to her. Daphne and I had always had a special relationship even before we dated. We are typically always on the same page when it comes to humor, wit, and intellectual conversation. Our friendship reignited through this dark time in my life. She gave me advice and counsel unedited. She, too, would come to me with her own problems claiming that I am the only she knows that knows her better than anyone else. We communicate almost everyday through Facebook. And a few weeks ago, she and I had an awkward conversation that leaned towards the sexual. And before this, she would become more open about the memories of our past relationship as lovers, such as remembering old pet names or inside jokes. She complained how her current boyfriend is not satisfying her needs and we began sending each other songs that we believed were "mood" music. She then asked how my love life was and showed her some of the girls that I have been seeing, all them not being up to snuff for her. I asked her if she thought I could do better but left the question unanswered (whether or not that means anything I have no idea). A few weeks later, I get a text message from her for the first time in 3 years, I didn't even know she still had my number. She was back in town visiting family for Thanksgiving. The conversation over text quickly moved to the sexual again. It began with her again complaining about her "douchebag" boyfriend not wanting to have sex with her anymore. She then told me that I spoiled her rotten in bed and no one has been able to break my record with her. She continued on reminiscing about our past sexual exploits in detail. This was incredibly confusing to me and exciting, as she is still the most beautiful woman in my life. This climaxed into sexting for the rest of the night. Ever since then, we actually have been talking a lot more frequently (nothing sexual though). We haven't mentioned what happened that night really. Our relationship has grown a great deal closer and much more open. It made me realize that I was still very much in love with this girl. She is coming back into town later this month and wants to go out for some drinks and karaoke (I sent her some videos of me singing just make her laugh). I thought for sure, maybe she was interested in me once more. However, she began talking about another guy she apparently never gave a chance to about dating right after we broke up and hasn't spoken to since then. I am so confused by her actions, but I can tell it appears she doesn't know what she wants. Or maybe, it's just what I think. She clearly isn't happy with and is afraid of her boyfriend. She texts me to make her smile and laugh every time he makes her upset. Should I tell her how I feel about her if things go well later this month? Was she just looking for sexual gratification/attention/acknowledgment? I know hurt her terribly in the past, but I have learned so much in the last 3 years and have changed/matured considerably as a man. I truly feel like I can be the man she has wanted to have been loved by her whole life. However, I do not to chase her away from my life because she may or may not feel the same way. I want to keep her in my life and only want to see her happy, regardless if it is with me or not. She is an incredible person inside and out. StrayDogFreedom
R32 Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Not trying to put you down or get your hopes up, just considering all the possibilities. She could very well have friend zoned you, and just feels extremely comfortable around you. OR She could be hinting at an intimate encounter to see your reaction.. Most girls I know, don't generally tell me I'm a demon in the sack, unless they want round 2. I think it's too soon to make a move. With that being said, don't burn any bridges. Keep talking to her, things are good anyways. Meet up with her as planned and see how the date goes. Show her that you've matured and changed. Most importantly, go with the flow =) If it doesn't work out in the end, at least you've made a cool girl friend.
twinkles Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 This is very simple. You meet up. You do not have sex no matter how tempting it is. If she comes on to you, you back off and tell her you are not interested in casual sex. You'll get your clue from there. If she continues conversing with you, you have some grounds to work with.
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