How do you deal with it all?

[Butterfly21]

How do you get over the feeling of failing?

 

I have days where i ask myself what did I do wrong and what should i have done and then i have days where i feel strong and i know i did all i could to try and fix my marriage. I still love my stbx even after everything he put me through and i don't know why. I gave up my whole life for him and this is what i get back. Im ruined, he broke me and i just feel totally lost. 2 years of being mentally and emotionally abused and i hate myself. I don't want to feel this way but he always manages to convince me over and over again how much of a POS i am

 

I just don't know how i am going to get through this divorce and i just dont know how im going to deal with it. He has promised to make my life hell..As if he hasn't already done that enough.

 

I just had to get this off my chest

[andyg99]

How do you get over the feeling of failing?

 

I have days where i ask myself what did I do wrong and what should i have done and then i have days where i feel strong and i know i did all i could to try and fix my marriage. I still love my stbx even after everything he put me through and i don't know why. I gave up my whole life for him and this is what i get back. Im ruined, he broke me and i just feel totally lost. 2 years of being mentally and emotionally abused and i hate myself. I don't want to feel this way but he always manages to convince me over and over again how much of a POS i am

 

I just don't know how i am going to get through this divorce and i just dont know how im going to deal with it. He has promised to make my life hell..As if he hasn't already done that enough.

 

I just had to get this off my chest

 

I know it's a cliche but "one day at a time" is the way to go.... little by little we heal and we find ourselves again. Learn from this - "I gave up my whole life for him", we should never have to give up our lives for anyone, the right person will never make you feel like you have given up your life for them...

[Duckduckgoose]

I beat myself up for months after my exH left me, saying pretty much everything was my fault.

 

What helped me some was writing down a list of the things I didn't like about him.

 

It didn't take a whole lot of thinking to do, either. I still have the list on my fridge, along with the list of things I would like in a man, and a list of my own strengths and weaknesses.

 

When I would start feeling down on myself I'd read the list of all the things I didn't like about him.

 

I tried what I could when our marriage was failing, to save it; but he had checked out a long time ago and it showed.

 

BTW, it's better for you to be away from an abusive spouse. As far away as possible.

[speedster]

I wish there was more to do to help you.

 

but, what i did was take a picture of her and with ms/paint i typed the quotes of the nasty things she said to me all around her or across her face. i tacked it to the wall right where i sit at my home office. at first i didn't like looking at it. then, when i looked at it i started to get angry. that is what got me thru the divorce. i have since trashed it, because i don't need it.

 

i promise you things will get better. you might travel thru hell to get there tho.