ms.love Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Hi all, There is a man in work who started this year. About a month ago he introduced himself to me with a nice handshake and we chatted on our smoke break. Since then I have been drawn to him. He is a lovely, mature, kind, caring, sweet man and we seem to have a lot in common. I sometimes catch him looking at me, we once had longer then usual eye contact were we both smiled and looked down and then back at each other. This was while he was asking others around my area a question about work. When we talk outside he is always listening to me and remembers little things I have told him before. His body language is manly and from what I have noticed his foot is pointed towards me and he always leans in when I speak. We make a lot of eye contact that would be longer than usual with anyone else while we talk or pass each other in the halls at work. I do see him a lot but then again we work in the same building. He also says my name a lot. Such as if I see him in the halls he will give me a big smile and say "Hi *insert name here*" or when the day is over "Bye *insert name here*, take it easy" and from what I have noticed he never does this with anyone else. Last week he told me voluntarily about something he was attending the next night which is unusual because in our area of work no one talks about their personal life's but he could have just been friendly. He is a very outgoing person but he does get a little nervous around me (I could be imagining it). Now I know these things are small but I am very bad at picking up on whether someone I like feels the same way back. I have no problem knowing if I don't like the person but when it comes to someone I do I get nervous. Do you think he likes me? He is ten years older than me so I have been trying to show him I also like him in a subtle manner in case he is thinking "No way would she like me". I would love to just go out with him just once as I do think we would get on like a house on fire. What our your thoughts on asking a man out first? Or should I wait for him to ask? As I see it, if he does like me he will ask and if he does not ask then he never did like me! Thank you in advance!
forms Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Do you know that he's single? As in no live-in girlfriend. No steady non-live in girlfriend he's gotten in the habit of seeing every weekend or whatever. Men generally don't go very long without a woman if they can help it. So I guess you assume he's got someone unless you know otherwise.
Author ms.love Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 Do you know that he's single? As in no live-in girlfriend. No steady non-live in girlfriend he's gotten in the habit of seeing every weekend or whatever. Men generally don't go very long without a woman if they can help it. So I guess you assume he's got someone unless you know otherwise. I do know he has no girlfriend. We are friends on facebook and it says he is single. He could be seeing someone but from what I have gathered he is not.
forms Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 On your smoke breaks do you ask him what he does on the weekends or in his free time?
Author ms.love Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 On your smoke breaks do you ask him what he does on the weekends or in his free time? I have never asked before but only recently we have started opening up to each other about our personal life's as it used to just be talk about work related topics. He has voluntarily given me information on what he is doing at the weekend though. Usually about a gig he might be going to because we have the same music taste.
DearAbby Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 There are so many men in the world. Why do people try to date people at work? You work there and need to see him everyday if it doesnt work out. Awkward.
Author ms.love Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 There are so many men in the world. Why do people try to date people at work? You work there and need to see him everyday if it doesnt work out. Awkward. That is very true but I finish working there in April so we won't be working together for much longer. You also cannot choose who you like and not like in my opinion.
Overthirtymale Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 There are so many men in the world. Why do people try to date people at work? You work there and need to see him everyday if it doesnt work out. Awkward. Why limit your options? You can't control who you fall in love with. I know tons of lasting relationships where people meet at work.
Feelsgoodman Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 When it comes to asking out someone you work with, the traditional roles are reversed. A man is not going to make the first move in a situation like that because there is too much risk of being accused of sexual harassment in case he misjudges his female coworker's supposed interest. Women never get accused of sexual harassment, so it's much safer for them to make the first move.
jobaba Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Since then I have been drawn to him. He is a lovely, mature, kind, caring, sweet man and we seem to have a lot in common. Those are the reasons you like this man? What are you, some kind of a freak?!? Most men don't have women ask them out, so he'll likely be flattered if you do. Go for it I say! He sounds like an awesome dude.
Eddie Edirol Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Hi all, He is ten years older than me so I have been trying to show him I also like him in a subtle manner in case he is thinking "No way would she like me". What are these subtle ways that you show him you like him? Dont you know most men dont speak the subtle language?
Author ms.love Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 Those are the reasons you like this man? What are you, some kind of a freak?!? Most men don't have women ask them out, so he'll likely be flattered if you do. Go for it I say! He sounds like an awesome dude. Yes, he is also very attractive but that is not what attracted me to him first. What are these subtle ways that you show him you like him? Dont you know most men dont speak the subtle language? I use a lot body language such as play with my hair, give him good eye contact and smile at him. Then again I can't help but do that anyway because I love when he gives me eye contact. I laugh at his (not so funny ) jokes. I listen to everything he says intently. I lean in when he speaks to me. I like a lot his links on facebook (the one's I like anyway and of course not all of them). I help him out if he asks a question about work. I guess maybe I am not doing enough? Now that I think about it more I do not think I come across as really liking him as more than a friend. Do you have any suggestions on good hints?
Eddie Edirol Posted December 5, 2011 Posted December 5, 2011 I use a lot body language such as play with my hair, give him good eye contact and smile at him. Then again I can't help but do that anyway because I love when he gives me eye contact. I laugh at his (not so funny ) jokes. I listen to everything he says intently. I lean in when he speaks to me. I like a lot his links on facebook (the one's I like anyway and of course not all of them). I help him out if he asks a question about work. I guess maybe I am not doing enough? Now that I think about it more I do not think I come across as really liking him as more than a friend. Do you have any suggestions on good hints? Exactly, youre coming across as someone who likes attention. Alot of men dont speak hint, so hints fall by the wayside. You dont know if he can speak hint, and isnt into you, or is clueless to hints and is looking for something more overt. If youre going to wait for him to ask you out, he might be afraid to do it as it may be seen as harrassment. Also what what you think are subtle hints, he will just think youre being nice. Dont worry anymore about hints. If you want to see if hes into you, ask him if he would like to join you in the cafeteria for coffee or lunch.
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