Online Dating..3rd date

[jmm]

So i had my third date with the guy I met from online..we seem to be getting along well.

 

But he is still active on the site everyday and went on the site after our date was over. For me, I am more going on at this point to see how active he is..i doubt that is his reason.

 

I know it's too early--we aren't exclusive, still just dating and getting to know each other..still hurts a little though that he goes on it each day..and after our date.....

 

In fact I sent him a text to which he didn't respond and checked a little while later and see he is on the site..

[SJC2008]

It's part of online dating. It sucks. I just posted (english post). I am eamiling two other women and have not got a response from one of them in a day and the other in 3 (pretty sure that one's done) So I want to go online to check their activity but then the girl I just went out with will see I have been active. Also, what if he is going on to see if YOU are active? Which he very well may be. Men and women may think differently but remeber we are all human and think alike in most areas.

[jmm]

for some reason i feel like he isn't just checking on me and that is his reason for going on the site.

 

i feel a little sad..i texted him too and he didn't respond but found time to go on the site after our date..

[wildtrac77]

for some reason i feel like he isn't just checking on me and that is his reason for going on the site.

 

i feel a little sad..i texted him too and he didn't respond but found time to go on the site after our date..

 

Sorry to say this but he doesnt see it going anywhere with you, iv been doing internet dating for a couple of years and from experience when someone goes on the site straight after a date your wasting your time with them and should move on.

 

Iv prob been out with 5/6 people in that time ( ie several dates with each one) and out of them only once did i stop going on there after the first date (and so did she) because we really liked each other and wanted to see where it goes, ( didnt work out but thats another story!!) as for the others i went back on as i didnt see it going anywhere with them even thou i still went on some more dates with them.

 

If someone really likes you they wont have need to go on there chatting up other people after the first date..

Edited December 4, 2011 by wildtrac77
To shorten txt

[jmm]

Do others agree with this? Or it's too early to tell? Unless he decided after this date he is blowing me off..we seemed to have a good time though...but i texted him last night after getting home and no response..

Edited December 4, 2011 by jmm

[ihatedating]

Forget him. He's playing the field and not that into you.

 

Keep your options open and date other men. I've done a lot of online dating and it seems like ALL men online do the same.

[jstobo]

I have a different perspective. I am a male and I have been online dating for about 6 months. I've had dates where I knew instantly I was not interested in the person. I've had a few where I had interest in getting the know the person more, but I still didn't change my profile or how I viewed it daily. How do I know the woman feels the same about me, so I'm going to keep my options open. And texting me doesn't say she wants exclusivity. It just says she is still interested in getting to know me.

 

If he keeps asking you out, he is still interested. If you're still interested, keep going out with him. However, I think a fourth date does give you the right to start asking questions. Especially if you're starting to get physical. I'm dating a woman I met online. I see her go online, yet she says yes to my dates, texts me back, and calls me back. I'm not too worried about it at this point.

[jmm]

i was going to the say the same..isn't he interested if he keeps asking me on dates? or atleast somewhat interested..sometimes doesn't it take time to become attached, or become really into someone?

 

I know when i dated my ex i was confused but kept going out with him so i guess there was a reason and became totally in love with him.

 

I definitely don't have an interest in getting too physical if we aren't exclusive..i know for myself I will feel horrible if i did something a little physical and saw he went on the website later that night or the next day. I have to draw the line somewhere.

[USCGAviator]

Do others agree with this? Or it's too early to tell? Unless he decided after this date he is blowing me off..we seemed to have a good time though...but i texted him last night after getting home and no response..

 

I don't think it's too early to tell. There's alot of people men and women that play the field and keep their option open. Maybe you can ask him how he feels about you.

 

I went on a 9hour first date last night and had a great time! I logged in today to destroy my online acct. I did it out of respect and to show her that I want to focus on her and not interested in playing the field.

 

Hopefully this guy ends up taking some initiative to making you feel more secure about dating. It seems there's a big lack of respect in the online dating community.

[wildtrac77]

I have a different perspective. I am a male and I have been online dating for about 6 months. I've had dates where I knew instantly I was not interested in the person. I've had a few where I had interest in getting the know the person more, but I still didn't change my profile or how I viewed it daily. How do I know the woman feels the same about me, so I'm going to keep my options open. And texting me doesn't say she wants exclusivity. It just says she is still interested in getting to know me.

 

If he keeps asking you out, he is still interested. If you're still interested, keep going out with him. However, I think a fourth date does give you the right to start asking questions. Especially if you're starting to get physical. I'm dating a woman I met online. I see her go online, yet she says yes to my dates, texts me back, and calls me back. I'm not too worried about it at this point.

 

I used to think like this when i first started online dating but you soon get wise and realize its a waste of time if someone goes online after a date..

[wildtrac77]

I don't think it's too early to tell. There's alot of people men and women that play the field and keep their option open. Maybe you can ask him how he feels about you.

 

I went on a 9hour first date last night and had a great time! I logged in today to destroy my online acct. I did it out of respect and to show her that I want to focus on her and not interested in playing the field.

 

Hopefully this guy ends up taking some initiative to making you feel more secure about dating. It seems there's a big lack of respect in the online dating community.

 

Online datingis def a different kettle of fish to normal dating thats for sure!!

 

While i agree if you really like someone you shouldnt go online while you go on a few dates to get to know someone i think deleting your account is a bit too much, from exeperience i have been on 8 hour first dates and down the line after a few more dates it still doesnt work out..

 

As for the op she should move on, a previous post said he is keeping his options open untill he meets someone he really likes comes along

Edited December 4, 2011 by wildtrac77
spelling mistake

[jstobo]

I used to think like this when i first started online dating but you soon get wise and realize its a waste of time if someone goes online after a date..

 

I just don't think that is 100% true. I'm interested in the woman I am dating, but I don't know her real interest yet. And I don't know enough about her to know if she is the one. Maybe at my age (41) I tend to know two dates doesn't mean long term commitment. You're saying I should shut down my profile and not look at the site at this early stage?

[USCGAviator]

Online datingis def a different kettle of fish to normal dating thats for sure!!

 

While i agree if you really like someone you shouldnt go online while you go on a few dates to get to know someone i think deleting your account is a bit too much, from exeperience i have been on 8 hour first dates and down the line after a few more dates it still doesnt work out..

 

As for the op she should move on, a previous post said he is keeping his options open untill he meets someone he really likes comes along

 

I def see what your saying about deleting your acct too quickly but I'm not really worried. I'm pretty confident with women and what I'm looking for in a person. I found alot of these qualities in her and for the 1st time in the 20 or so dates I went on, I'm actually interested in seeing her again!!

 

But yeah if its been 3 dates and this fella is still online regularly, something might not be right here. And op I'm sure you already know this being that you made it a topic of discussion. Don't give up!!

[wildtrac77]

I just don't think that is 100% true. I'm interested in the woman I am dating, but I don't know her real interest yet. And I don't know enough about her to know if she is the one. Maybe at my age (41) I tend to know two dates doesn't mean long term commitment. You're saying I should shut down my profile and not look at the site at this early stage?

 

Keep your profile active but dont go online if you like her and want to give it a chance, if you are mailing anyone else you are intrested in then say your not gonna be online for a bit but would like to stay in contact here is my email addy, if you date someone from a social circle you really liked then the next date you saw her arranging a date with someone else in the pub what would you think??, same with chatting to other people online, if you really like someone you should see where it goes..

[jmm]

so frustrating..i think it's different for everyone..a guy i met online last year seemed very interested and wasn't on the site much at all so i thought that was a good sign..he still blew me off...so it's almost like you never know.

 

I texted him last night though had good time and make a joke..no response and nothing today and he was on the site.

 

unless he is keeping things cool and doesn't want to come on strong where it turns me off.

[FitChick]

Continuing to date others is nothing new in society. In fact, it's always been encouraged so you could find your best match. Only nowadays we can check a website to find out if someone is doing it. Your choices are -- don't look, date other people yourself, only date someone one time, never date or join a culture/religion with arranged marriages.

[ihatedating]

Jmmn,

 

I'm sorry to say he's not that into you. If a guy likes you he will text you right away. He won't be playing these games. Let me tell you my online story. I was dating a guy who I met on match for a MONTH and even met his friends. We got physical (no sex) and even had a conversation about how he should take his online profile down. He said he would look into it but never did. Thus because he didn't I never had sex with him although he kept pressuring me into it. We would have great dates and then he would be online again the next day. Well he basically blew me off after I said no to sex to him because I didn't trust him. He never texted me back.

 

So the bottom line is, if they are not texting you right away, they are not into you. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket and continue dating other people.

[jmm]

I found this article about the subject..according to him if it's only been a few dates and you haven't discussed only the two of you..it's fair game to keep your profile up. But it is weird how i texted him last night and no response..it wasn't a question or anything but he still could have texted i had a good time too.

 

 

http://www.littleredrails.com/blog/2011/04/14/his-dating-profile-is-still-active-is-he-interested-or-not/

[neowulf]

Sorry, but it seems pretty cut and dry to me.

 

Men aren't complicated.

 

If he likes you, he'll respond to your texts. Return your phone calls. Organise dates. It really isn't hard to spot a guy who's "into" you.

 

On the flip side, if he's ignoring your texts and browsing the dating site straight after your date.. it's time to let it go and move on.

 

Big world. Lots of fish. Get to it

[wildtrac77]

Jmmn,

 

I'm sorry to say he's not that into you. If a guy likes you he will text you right away. He won't be playing these games. Let me tell you my online story. I was dating a guy who I met on match for a MONTH and even met his friends. We got physical (no sex) and even had a conversation about how he should take his online profile down. He said he would look into it but never did. Thus because he didn't I never had sex with him although he kept pressuring me into it. We would have great dates and then he would be online again the next day. Well he basically blew me off after I said no to sex to him because I didn't trust him. He never texted me back.

 

So the bottom line is, if they are not texting you right away, they are not into you. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket and continue dating other people.

 

Very well put; if someone is into you they will txt you right away, i wont bother with someone that doesnt txt me back after a date or goes online but hasnt got the time to reply to my txts, they just arent into you (you just gotta pick yourself up and move on!!

[daphne]

Sorry, but it seems pretty cut and dry to me.

 

Men aren't complicated.

 

If he likes you, he'll respond to your texts. Return your phone calls. Organise dates. It really isn't hard to spot a guy who's "into" you.

 

On the flip side, if he's ignoring your texts and browsing the dating site straight after your date.. it's time to let it go and move on.

 

Big world. Lots of fish. Get to it

 

Whereas I disagree that men aren't complicated, I'll agree that in the aspect of showing interest they are.

 

In my wide range of online dating, only a very few seemed to stop hunting after a date or a few. Those were the guys I went out with longer than anyone else. I also realized that I was far less inclined to keep looking. It's a turn off when someone's online all of the time at the candy store.

 

If your goal is to find someone that you can go the distance, you may want to weed out those that are going on directly online after what you perceive to be good quality dates. They are ambivalent at best and that doesn't seem to make for a solid relationship.