Are guys intimidated by successful women?

[phineas]

How do you define "very successful"? Are we talking about an independently wealthy, debt-free woman with a positive net worth in the millions of dollars? Or a woman who thinks she's "successful" because she has a college degree and a junior management job (but is still paying off her student debts ten years after graduation and has a huge mortgage on her tiny condo)?

 

This. NY is the union state. Lot's of men & women making more than your average median of the state just for being in a union.

 

I make a decent living, but I don't consider women in my pay range successful any more than I consider myself.

[Overthirtymale]

I am just curious what you guys think about this topic. Would you date a very successful woman? She may be more successful then you? Thoughts?

 

If there is no attraction does not matter how successful a women is. Most men go for youth, attractiveness. For most men a successful woman is just a plus.

[phineas]

I have noticed that women who make more money than average tend to be bossy but I don't know if it's because of their money or because that is just how they are & that is how they got the point of making that money.

[DearAbby]

You should make decisions together regardless of who makes more when your married.

 

Agree. 100% But sometimes I just want the man to make the decisions. I make too many decisions every day. I am ready to be the woman and cook and clean, (while I work full time.. LOL)

[Soxfaninfl]

Agree. 100% But sometimes I just want the man to make the decisions. I make too many decisions every day. I am ready to be the woman and cook and clean, (while I work full time.. LOL)

 

I dont have a problem making decsions. You sound like you would be perfect for me lol.

[DearAbby]

 

I don't like phrases such as "I want the man to be the man," because they represent a tendency of many women to set things up favorably for themselves and their desires, while shoveling everything else off on the guy.

 

I want a man to be a man. Men take out the Garbage. Men Grill. Men Carry Heavy Furniture. LOL

 

Equal is equal, not a chance for women to cherrypick the aspects of equality they want, maintain the old favorable "lady/gentlemen" standards also, and shovel the rest off on men, as they have been doing for decades.

 

I am not looking for Equality. I am into the Traditional Male and Female Roles.

[Soxfaninfl]

 

I don't like phrases such as "I want the man to be the man," because they represent a tendency of many women to set things up favorably for themselves and their desires, while shoveling everything else off on the guy.

 

I want a man to be a man. Men take out the Garbage. Men Grill. Men Carry Heavy Furniture. LOL

 

Equal is equal, not a chance for women to cherrypick the aspects of equality they want, maintain the old favorable "lady/gentlemen" standards also, and shovel the rest off on men, as they have been doing for decades.

 

I am not looking for Equality. I am into the Traditional Male and Female Roles.

There is nothing wrong with what you want.

[dasein]

I am not looking for Equality. I am into the Traditional Male and Female Roles.

 

I see, did pursuing those traditional female roles happen to include taking a slot in a school(s) you had to apply to get into? Is it possible that school had affirmative action admission policies favoring women in place? Is it possible some traditionally minded man lost his slot in the school due to affirmative action?

 

Did pursuing those traditional female roles happen to include getting hired for a job in a company with affirmative action policies in place? Is it possible that some traditionally minded man lost the job due partially to affirmative action?

 

When you were young, did you stay at home unescorted and wait for suitors to call? Did you maintain your virginity until marriage? Because those are the indicia of traditional female roles.

 

I find that when women today say "traditional male and female roles" it usually translates into "the advantages of the past... for women, together with the advantages of the present... for women." That's exactly how it has been for the last 40 years, but the clock is ticking on that particular state of affairs.

 

Of course if you did not take advantage of affirmative action in education and the workplace, and conducted yourself as a virginal lady, then you have every right to seek out a traditionally minded male, and blessings be upon the division of labor that you two work out in accordance with traditional gender roles.

Edited December 4, 2011 by dasein

[jobaba]

I am just curious what you guys think about this topic. Would you date a very successful woman? She may be more successful then you? Thoughts?

 

Yes. I have been. I thought I had a chance with a specialty doctor who made well over 200K. I was pretty intimidated. I have a good educational background and have degrees from Top 25 schools, but I don't make tons of money.

 

Anyhoo, she ended up not meeting with me, so moot point...

[Woggle]

So now women capable of making it on their own are horrible by default... Good to know.

 

I've pulled myself out of a ditch more than once financially- I've been through success and failure so many times in my life, and I keep going.

Failing- learning, starting again.

 

I guess my "horrible" personality helps me to pay my rent?

I must suck otherwise according to you.

 

I never said that. I never said that women who make it on their own are horrible.

 

What I said is that women who do have horrible personalities tend to hide behind the whole strong and independent thing when it has nothing to do with strength or independence. They become intolerable to be in a relationship with and when they end up driving the man away they say he can't handle a strong woman when in reality they just don't like her awful attitude.

 

No where did I say that women who were successful all had horrible personalities.

[alphamale]

I am just curious what you guys think about this topic. Would you date a very successful woman? She may be more successful then you? Thoughts?

no i wouldn't....the thought of being some chicks lap dog makes me want to projectile vomit

[DearAbby]

I see, did pursuing those traditional female roles happen to include taking a slot in a school(s) you had to apply to get into? Is it possible that school had affirmative action admission policies favoring women in place? Is it possible some traditionally minded man lost his slot in the school due to affirmative action?

 

Did pursuing those traditional female roles happen to include getting hired for a job in a company with affirmative action policies in place? Is it possible that some traditionally minded man lost the job due partially to affirmative action?

 

When you were young, did you stay at home unescorted and wait for suitors to call? Did you maintain your virginity until marriage? Because those are the indicia of traditional female roles.

 

I find that when women today say "traditional male and female roles" it usually translates into "the advantages of the past... for women, together with the advantages of the present... for women." That's exactly how it has been for the last 40 years, but the clock is ticking on that particular state of affairs.

 

Of course if you did not take advantage of affirmative action in education and the workplace, and conducted yourself as a virginal lady, then you have every right to seek out a traditionally minded male, and blessings be upon the division of labor that you two work out in accordance with traditional gender roles.

 

 

I see your point but, I think you just took this way too far LOL. All I am saying is sometimes I want to feel like a lady and have a man be a man..the cliff notes version. You had the bible edition.

[DearAbby]

 

roflmao. roflmao. roflmao.

 

 

LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO

[Woggle]

I see your point but, I think you just took this way too far LOL. All I am saying is sometimes I want to feel like a lady and have a man be a man..the cliff notes version. You had the bible edition.

 

I am okay with this as long as it is the other way around as well. Too often men suggest the other way around and get a tongue lashing from women accusing us of living in the 1950s.

[curlygirl40]

Ball busting, dramatic, high maintenance, manipulative working women use "men are intimidated" as an excuse why men flee them in droves. It ain't your "success" that's chasing them off, dear.

 

I've seen this in a friend of mine. She's very successful, started her own business from nothing and is doing very well. She goes after a guy with the same gusto as she would a business deal and they run every time. She says 'when I see something I want, I pursue it'.

 

She's financially stable, physically fit, lots of energy, attractive.

 

She could write a script 'how to lose a guy in 4 days'. I've seen her do it. And she's not sure why she's single but will say that guys are intimidated by her success when really she's chasing them away IMO.

[alphamale]

She could write a script 'how to lose a guy in 4 days'. I've seen her do it. And she's not sure why she's single but will say that guys are intimidated by her success when really she's chasing them away IMO.

in the dating and mating game girls need to act like girls and boys need to act like boys

[phineas]

I've seen this in a friend of mine. She's very successful, started her own business from nothing and is doing very well. She goes after a guy with the same gusto as she would a business deal and they run every time. She says 'when I see something I want, I pursue it'.

 

She's financially stable, physically fit, lots of energy, attractive.

 

She could write a script 'how to lose a guy in 4 days'. I've seen her do it. And she's not sure why she's single but will say that guys are intimidated by her success when really she's chasing them away IMO.

 

If she's hot, they's at least stay around for the sex & wouldn't mind playing pool boy.

 

Like I said earlier, a lot of the women I know that make more than average money are bossy & I wouldn't even consider dating them because of that.

[kaylan]

The reason I bring this topic up is often times I make significantly more money then the men I date and I feel like it becomes a problem. Also, to the other poster I am not a ball buster LOL

Ok does it become a problem for them or for you?

 

For me, I wouldnt care about money in a relationship. What I am looking for is love. The only thing that should matter in my opinion is our personalities clicking, there being some good attraction, and that we both have good goals as adults because that shows maturity and drive (which I find attractive in a gal). If a girl happens to make more money then me, sure Id take notice, but if we never make it an issue and get along then thats all that matters.

 

I want someone who I feel is my equal, my partner, and money has little to do with that for me. All I ask for is a smart, sexy, ambitious woman. Personally Im very attracted to the arrogant, cut throat, business woman or lawyer. I also love the educated but grungy rocker chicks too. Smart just does it for me.

 

See as the woman in this situation, I like the Man to be the Man. If I am making the majority of the financial decisions because I am the major bread winner, I don't like it either.

???

 

Then why do women like you even go to school and start careers. You are only kicking yourself in the butt with this. Youll end up the 30 something career woman who hasnt settled down yet because she has hangups about what she expects a relationship to be like. How about just being with someone because you click?

 

Not because he needs to make more money than you and make all the financial choices. If you didnt have a job and didnt have your own income itd make sense for the man to make all the financial decisions. But if you expect to keep your career, its ****ing stupid to think the guy is gonna be in charge of everything. Your an adult with your own money, plus most women dont even like men telling them how to spend their own money.

 

While sometimes Men do take issue with Women making more loot than them, its really attitudes like yours that scare off guys like me who wouldnt care about such things as long as I felt a great connection with a gal.

 

Your mode of thinking just makes me think this: That if I make 65k a year, and she makes 80k, that eventually shes gonna leave me for the guy making 100k, so Ms. Success can "feel like a woman" and the "man can be the man". So you end up being alone and I move onto one of the many girls in my financial bracket who dont need a guy who makes super bucks to make them feel womanly.

 

Agree. 100% But sometimes I just want the man to make the decisions. I make too many decisions every day. I am ready to be the woman and cook and clean, (while I work full time.. LOL)

Relationships are about two people making decisions. You have a job. I have a job. We have a household? So we make decisions together.

 

And I am not trying to marry my mother. I can cook and clean myself. Im not 10 years old.

 

And I dont expect to be waited on all the time. Im not all that attracted to women who want to be in a subordinate class. Ill do just as much work as my girl does because she works hard and needs a break too. If shes working a late shift Saturday night and is dead tired. Well then shes getting a late breakfast in bed Sunday, and resting all day while I do the work around the apartment or house. Why? Because I love her and relationships are partnerships.

 

Id do this any day of the week.

 

 

I am not looking for Equality. I am into the Traditional Male and Female Roles.

Then the issue is not with the men it seems. Its with you.

 

Its 2011 hun. Roles are constantly a changin'.

 

As I said before, I look for a woman who I will consider my equal. While I will still do some "manly" things for her, and she will do some "womanly" things for me, its shouldnt be expected.

 

Im gonna do the things I need to do because I love this person. Not because thats "what a man does", but because she wants or needs me to be there for her. Be that through being handy, giving her a shoulder to cry on, or being her Ken doll on a day of shopping.

[Nexus One]

I can only speak for myself, but generally I'm not intimidated by successful women. I don't care how much or little money a woman makes.

 

Successful women tend to have a thick armor and often you need to be quite perceptive to see through it in order to see the beauty of their personality. It's best to listen to WHAT they're saying, rather than HOW they're saying it.

 

That being said, I don't appreciate it if a (successful) woman would treat me like her employee, she would definitely have to tone down her attitude towards me to the level where we're on equal footing. Because one thing I tend to do is project into the future and how a life with a woman would be like and if I sense she's going to be controlling and tries to walk all over me, then I'm not even going to consider a relationship. Because I just want to have a happy relationship and not have to fight some kind of battle or power struggle.

 

I understand where that attitude comes from though, only 6% of all CEO's for example are female and as CEO's often tend to deal with other CEO's, those women tend to deal with male CEO's for the most part. And most male CEO's I know are harsh and ruthless. Another part of it is that they tend to protect their business and revenue streams, there's something about having to do that which can give pretty much anyone a harsh edge at times.

 

Fact of the matter is though, under that thick layer of armor those women tend to be soft and mushy and in the end they just want to feel like a woman.

[Ilovewater]

Like I said earlier, a lot of the women I know that make more than average money are bossy & I wouldn't even consider dating them because of that.

 

Most of them are bossy because of the work environment that they are in, and they're unable to separate their work life from their social life. They are used to their roles as executives, directors, etc. where some degree of bossiness is required. I see this with both men and women, as some successful men also like to be in control of everything. This is the reason why I'm always pleasantly surprised when I meet an incredibly successful person who's down-to-earth and genuinely nice.

[dasein]

I see your point but, I think you just took this way too far LOL. All I am saying is sometimes I want to feel like a lady and have a man be a man..the cliff notes version. You had the bible edition.

 

What you said was that you weren't interested in equality, but in traditional gender roles. That's a common interest I hear IRL from women who have benefitted in school and work from affirmative action type "equality" their entire lives, but then still want the man to do the heavy lifting in relationships. It's inconsistent IMO.

[FitChick]

I just want the man to make the decisions. I make too many decisions every day.

 

This is what motivates most very successful men to marry. They don't want to come home and have to make decisions about their social life and about household crises. They want their wives to handle that so they can relax and concentrate on making a living. It's called division of labor. Unfortunately, that way of living isn't as valued today as in the past. Perhaps that is why two successful executives with stressful jobs don't have long lasting marriages. They don't want to have another job when they come home.

[Nexus One]

This is what motivates most very successful men to marry. They don't want to come home and have to make decisions about their social life and about household crises. They want their wives to handle that so they can relax and concentrate on making a living. It's called division of labor. Unfortunately, that way of living isn't as valued today as in the past. Perhaps that is why two successful executives with stressful jobs don't have long lasting marriages. They don't want to have another job when they come home.

 

Two successful executives can hire someone to do chores at home and take care of the kids. Personally I don't like the last part though, where the kids would be raised by a third party.

 

The downside of "merely" being a CEO is that it's your job. However, when you're a business founder and CEO at the same time, then you can hire someone as a CEO if your company's income allows for it and live your life as a shareholder/owner. That way you free up a lot of time to spend with the kids at home.

 

The position of founder + shareholder + CEO is the most ideal position to be in, in terms of work and freedom. It's even more perfect when you're the largest shareholder, then even your business partners can't put pressure on you, as you hold the most important vote within the company.

[Woggle]

I don't want anybody to make the decisions for me. I just want a romantic partner in crime.

[DearAbby]

Ok does it become a problem for them or for you?

 

For me, I wouldnt care about money in a relationship. What I am looking for is love. The only thing that should matter in my opinion is our personalities clicking, there being some good attraction, and that we both have good goals as adults because that shows maturity and drive (which I find attractive in a gal). If a girl happens to make more money then me, sure Id take notice, but if we never make it an issue and get along then thats all that matters.

 

I agree with you here.

 

I want someone who I feel is my equal, my partner, and money has little to do with that for me. All I ask for is a smart, sexy, ambitious woman. Personally Im very attracted to the arrogant, cut throat, business woman or lawyer. I also love the educated but grungy rocker chicks too. Smart just does it for me.

 

 

???

 

Then why do women like you even go to school and start careers. You are only kicking yourself in the butt with this. Youll end up the 30 something career woman who hasnt settled down yet because she has hangups about what she expects a relationship to be like. How about just being with someone because you click?

 

Good point!

 

Not because he needs to make more money than you and make all the financial choices. If you didnt have a job and didnt have your own income itd make sense for the man to make all the financial decisions. But if you expect to keep your career, its ****ing stupid to think the guy is gonna be in charge of everything. Your an adult with your own money, plus most women dont even like men telling them how to spend their own money.

 

I didn't really mean all the financial decisions. I just don't want to have to make them. I want to make them cause I can or to help out not because I am forced to.

 

While sometimes Men do take issue with Women making more loot than them, its really attitudes like yours that scare off guys like me who wouldnt care about such things as long as I felt a great connection with a gal.

 

Your mode of thinking just makes me think this: That if I make 65k a year, and she makes 80k, that eventually shes gonna leave me for the guy making 100k, so Ms. Success can "feel like a woman" and the "man can be the man". So you end up being alone and I move onto one of the many girls in my financial bracket who dont need a guy who makes super bucks to make them feel womanly.

 

I didn't mean this and I would never leave him for someone who makes more money. When I said men being men, I just meant they can be manly when necessary.

 

Relationships are about two people making decisions. You have a job. I have a job. We have a household? So we make decisions together.

 

Agree 100%

 

And I am not trying to marry my mother. I can cook and clean myself. Im not 10 years old.

 

Agree as well. Nice to have someone to help out.

 

And I dont expect to be waited on all the time. Im not all that attracted to women who want to be in a subordinate class. Ill do just as much work as my girl does because she works hard and needs a break too. If shes working a late shift Saturday night and is dead tired. Well then shes getting a late breakfast in bed Sunday, and resting all day while I do the work around the apartment or house. Why? Because I love her and relationships are partnerships.

 

This is very nice and what I would want.

 

Id do this any day of the week.

 

 

Then the issue is not with the men it seems. Its with you.

 

I am not necessarily having the issue. I just wondered cause I have dated guys in the past who I felt were intimidated. And, I am very sweet and nice. I don't treat my significant other like an employee.

 

Its 2011 hun. Roles are constantly a changin'.

 

As I said before, I look for a woman who I will consider my equal. While I will still do some "manly" things for her, and she will do some "womanly" things for me, its shouldnt be expected.

 

Im gonna do the things I need to do because I love this person. Not because thats "what a man does", but because she wants or needs me to be there for her. Be that through being handy, giving her a shoulder to cry on, or being her Ken doll on a day of shopping.

 

I also want to pull my weight and I just want the man to pull his as well. I just want to feel if I break my leg and can't work for a month he can carry the weight.