DearAbby Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 I am just curious what you guys think about this topic. Would you date a very successful woman? She may be more successful then you? Thoughts?
Lonely Ronin Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 I am just curious what you guys think about this topic. Would you date a very successful woman? She may be more successful then you? Thoughts? When I was in my early 20's I wouldn't have but as I've grown older and more mature, It doesn't really matter to me anymore. All I really want is someone who makes me happy, and that I'm attracted to. I don't care if she a maid or a princess.
Feelsgoodman Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 I am just curious what you guys think about this topic. Would you date a very successful woman? She may be more successful then you? Thoughts? How do you define "very successful"? Are we talking about an independently wealthy, debt-free woman with a positive net worth in the millions of dollars? Or a woman who thinks she's "successful" because she has a college degree and a junior management job (but is still paying off her student debts ten years after graduation and has a huge mortgage on her tiny condo)?
dasein Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 I don't know any men who are intimidated by successful women. Among my friends successful women are the "trophy wives" and guys are envious of the men with successful working wives. Ball busting, dramatic, high maintenance, manipulative working women use "men are intimidated" as an excuse why men flee them in droves. It ain't your "success" that's chasing them off, dear.
Soxfaninfl Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 I like a women that is succesful. It would be nice to have a women that makes a good salary. Atleast close to what I make or more. I broke with a girl because part of the reason was that her paycheck was pathetic and had no desire to change that. She was content with what she made and didn't want more out of life. It was a huge turn off.
TheLameDuck Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Sounds like a fantasy situation, a woman going for a guy who isn't more successful than them, I would marry you
Woggle Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Most men are not. Most of the time when you hear how men are intimidated because they are a strong and successful women it because she is trying to cover up for a horrible personality.
D-Lish Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Most men are not. Most of the time when you hear how men are intimidated because they are a strong and successful women it because she is trying to cover up for a horrible personality. So now women capable of making it on their own are horrible by default... Good to know. I've pulled myself out of a ditch more than once financially- I've been through success and failure so many times in my life, and I keep going. Failing- learning, starting again. I guess my "horrible" personality helps me to pay my rent? I must suck otherwise according to you.
TaurusTerp Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 So now women capable of making it on their own are horrible by default... Good to know. I've pulled myself out of a ditch more than once financially- I've been through success and failure so many times in my life, and I keep going. Failing- learning, starting again. I guess my "horrible" personality helps me to pay my rent? I must suck otherwise according to you. You totally misunderstood what he said....he was saying that women who say "people are intimidated by my success" are lying to themselves...people aren't avoiding the person's success, they're avoiding the person's personality.
anne1707 Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 So now women capable of making it on their own are horrible by default... Good to know. I've pulled myself out of a ditch more than once financially- I've been through success and failure so many times in my life, and I keep going. Failing- learning, starting again. I guess my "horrible" personality helps me to pay my rent? I must suck otherwise according to you. To come to Woggle's defence, he actually said most men are not intimidated by successful women. It was only for those who were intimidated that he said it was because of personality (which is quite possibly true in some cases at least).
D-Lish Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 You totally misunderstood what he said....he was saying that women who say "people are intimidated by my success" are lying to themselves...people aren't avoiding the person's success, they're avoiding the person's personality. Have you read his other posts over the years? This guys hates women. I don't believe I misunderstood his post at all. I believe everything he has said previously, and everything he will say in the future will prove that. To come to Woggle's defence, he actually said most men are not intimidated by successful women. It was only for those who were intimidated that he said it was because of personality (which is quite possibly true in some cases at least). Read his history of hatred of women, then we can debate.
anne1707 Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Read his history of hatred of women, then we can debate. I have read his history and called him out on his postings more than once. However that does not mean that I have to read his posts from a completely blinkered perspective. That would seem rather hypocritical considering the behaviour you are accusing him of.
Soxfaninfl Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Have you read his other posts over the years? This guys hates women. I don't believe I misunderstood his post at all. I believe everything he has said previously, and everything he will say in the future will prove that. Read his history of hatred of women, then we can debate. A women must have burned him bad, so he became a women hater.
grkBoy Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) Not intimidated at all. The problem is I've seen too many "successful" women who refuse to "date down". They still want a man who makes more than her and is "higher on the ladder" than her. Some of the ones I've met literally complain about how all the "successful men" pass them up for "young hot sluts". Others play the workaholic role and claim they have no time to date...until some "better" male comes along. I think some guys can't handle the idea of a woman in a better position than him, but those are the guys who overvalue their sense of masculinity and thus have fragile egos that break easily. Edited December 4, 2011 by grkBoy
Author DearAbby Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 How do you define "very successful"? Are we talking about an independently wealthy, debt-free woman with a positive net worth in the millions of dollars? Or a woman who thinks she's "successful" because she has a college degree and a junior management job (but is still paying off her student debts ten years after graduation and has a huge mortgage on her tiny condo)? I am talking about the first one not the second one. She is too young to have millions of net worth but will and is on the way.
Author DearAbby Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 The reason I bring this topic up is often times I make significantly more money then the men I date and I feel like it becomes a problem. Also, to the other poster I am not a ball buster LOL
Author DearAbby Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 Sounds like a fantasy situation, a woman going for a guy who isn't more successful than them, I would marry you If the woman makes really good money, sometimes she has to date someone who is less successful. Lets put it this way, only 10% of the population make over 100,000..
Author DearAbby Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 Not intimidated at all. I think some guys can't handle the idea of a woman in a better position than him, but those are the guys who overvalue their sense of masculinity and thus have fragile egos that break easily. This is exactly what I was getting at and I have seen this before.
Author DearAbby Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 Pursuing somebody who is more succesful puts you at a huge disadvantage. It's humiliating. Theres nothing wrong with me. I just don't want the woman to have the upper hand over me. I'd like to keep my dignity. See as the woman in this situation, I like the Man to be the Man. If I am making the majority of the financial decisions because I am the major bread winner, I don't like it either.
Author DearAbby Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 You certainly have a point. Some very successful women have a "Feminazi" type of personality that is very abrasive and not at all endearing. Haha.. This is very funny but true
Author DearAbby Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 So now women capable of making it on their own are horrible by default... Good to know. I've pulled myself out of a ditch more than once financially- I've been through success and failure so many times in my life, and I keep going. Failing- learning, starting again. I guess my "horrible" personality helps me to pay my rent? I must suck otherwise according to you. This reply sounds like a pity party. What he said was many successful women, defined as a woman who makes significantly large sums of money, sometimes say that men leave them because they are more successful, when sometimes its because of their personalities and not their success. Your post describes someone who is a hard worker.
Soxfaninfl Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 The reason I bring this topic up is often times I make significantly more money then the men I date and I feel like it becomes a problem. Also, to the other poster I am not a ball buster LOL When can we go out? I don't have that problem. LoL
Soxfaninfl Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 See as the woman in this situation, I like the Man to be the Man. If I am making the majority of the financial decisions because I am the major bread winner, I don't like it either. You should make decisions together regardless of who makes more when your married.
dasein Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) See as the woman in this situation, I like the Man to be the Man. If I am making the majority of the financial decisions because I am the major bread winner, I don't like it either. This is where I get off the boat with lots of women today. You see in most households, women do in fact make a majority of the financial decisions whether they earn more or not, in many cases whether the woman even works or not, and it has nothing to do with "the man being the man" but with the division of labor that works for the couple. Chris Rock said once (paraphrased) that if a man could get women living in a cardboard box, he would. For most men, having nice things like a full set of dinner china, designer furniture, designer window coverings, decorator bed ensembles, fancy rugs, etc. just don't matter. Those things, together with a whole lot of other stuff do matter to most women, so the financial reins end up in her hands. If those things do matter to a particular man, I'm sure that couple works things out differently. I don't like phrases such as "I want the man to be the man," because they represent a tendency of many women to set things up favorably for themselves and their desires, while shoveling everything else off on the guy. It's hypocritical, in other words, if you want equality, to benefit from affirmative action in schools and jobs for decades, then want to shovel off parts of that you don't want to deal with to the man, it's as bad as men who say, "I won't load the dishwasher, that's women's work." It's particularly obnoxious to suggest that if a man won't take the consequences of equality that you don't like off your hands, that it calls his masculinity into question somehow. Equal is equal, not a chance for women to cherrypick the aspects of equality they want, maintain the old favorable "lady/gentlemen" standards also, and shovel the rest off on men, as they have been doing for decades. It's all one bundle, and reverting certain tasks or duties back to gender roles is unfair. In other words equality is not a cafeteria where you can go down the line and say "I want this, but not this." Doesn't work that way despite the efforts and attitudes of so many women today to the contrary. Edited December 4, 2011 by dasein
carhill Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 I am just curious what you guys think about this topic. Would you date a very successful woman? She may be more successful then you? Thoughts? 'Success' is just a label society applies, generally measured by the yardstick of money or power it deems appropriate. People who buy into that and let it own them are largely incompatible, not because of the yardstick but rather the mindset which impels it. A good number of my friends match up with that yardstick but they aren't ruled by it. Some of them are women. Historically, I would say that I'm not 'intimidated' by successful women in general. However, I can be 'turned off' by some of them, as in not finding them attractive, due to their behavioral set. As a corollary, evidenced by the dynamics my successful friends do deal with every day, they leave the 'success' hat at the door when entering the home of their relationships/friendships. At home, whether with a spouse or friend, it's a partnership of equals. I like women who can do that.
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