Will I ever get the frick over him?!?!?

[ditzchic]

Jesus God, I need to rant. I'm thinking that I will never get over my latest ex. It's pathetic and I don't know what to do anymore. It's been over 4 months since he ended it. We were only together 3 months. I should have been long over it by now. I want to be over it by now. I've moved on, I'm dating other people, I've been keeping very busy. I'm doing new and exciting things with my life (or at least trying to) but I still cannot stop thinking about him. I went NC with him 2 weeks after he ended it. About 2 months ago he started poking around and commenting on my facebook statuses so I unfriended him. I just wasn't ready to start communicating with him again. I know I can never be "just friends' with him so I'm not even going to pretend to try. I think about him everyday. He's he first person I want to call when I have news, everything reminds me of him, I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about him.

 

It's not that I want him back. I really don't. We are two very different people and he really isn't even boyfriend material for me. There are so many things about him that are deal breakers for me. When I was with him none of it mattered. I just wanted to be with him. He made me feel alive and none of the details mattered. I was willing to work around those things. But now that we aren't together, I would never consider getting back into it with someone that had all of those qualities. So getting back together will not happen.

 

Why can't I stop thinking about him? How can I? What else can I do? I just want him out of my head!

[BoredAgain]

Sounds like you got dumped when you were near the peak of your honeymoon phase. That's rough. I imagine it's like being injected with heroin everyday for three months, then being forced to go cold turkey... though it has been awhile since something like this has happened to me.

 

Yeah, you'll get over it eventually. It seems like you already understand that he's not right for you intellectually. That's a good. Unfortunately, this is mainly an emotional problem. NC will allow the problem to fade.

[shayla]

In this case, time is your friend. Some of this is simply habit. You get used to calling him, talking to him, it takes time to break that habit.

[Million.to.1]

Sounds like you got dumped when you were near the peak of your honeymoon phase. That's rough. I imagine it's like being injected with heroin everyday for three months, then being forced to go cold turkey...

 

This is exactly me!. 6 months and he pulled the plug. I was flying high and falling in love and now I'm shaky and crazy and feel so rejected. Only 9 days since our break-up.

I really hope I'm not still like this 4-5 months down the track like OP.

[HappyFlower]

But now that we aren't together, I would never consider getting back into it with someone that had all of those qualities. So getting back together will not happen.

 

Its a really good thing that you recognise this. Remembering these things will help you when you feel down. Not always in a 'nice' way - I'm 3 months post BU, and about a month after it I suddenly noticed all the things I let slide just because I wanted to be with him, things that I would also consider deal breakers. Now I'm at an angry stage, and whereas remembering the deal breakers for the last 3 months helped get my mind off him, now remembering them and the fact that I ignored them for him makes me angry and I think about him more. Which is not a nice feeling, but it is a good thing

 

I don't know if thats helpful, but unfortuantly he won't just disappear out of your head (I know, I want this too!). Try not to force him out of your head (at least, I don't find it helpful). Keep busy with other things, and when he does appear in your head aknowledge that he's there, recognise the emotions (shout at him if you want lol!) and then let them go. Forcing yourself to try and forget him just lengthens the time it takes to get over it.

 

xx