Stuck in a rut Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 (edited) we are 20 and 21 we dated for 2 years and the last couple months of our relationship was rocky but we always worked it out. We attended the same college. we broke up a month ago. he broke up with me, he told me he couldnt see our relationship going anywhere. but then like an hour later (we talked for 3 hours that night) he went on about how he was scared he would lose me fore good and never get me back if he realized he messed up. when he was going on about possibly losing me he was crying. the week fallowing we talked a lot about our relationship. he never told me it was completely over. the first day we talked he was on the verge of crying and he told me he didnt know if he made the right decision and didnt know what to do. and then he kept claiming he didnt know what he wanted. well I gave him his space. he went out and partied a lot and drank A LOT. then 3 weeks after we broke up he has a new girlfriend. this girl is the total oppisite of me. she parties a lot and drinks and smokes and does drugs. he always told me if i ever started smoking we would have issues. well i never wanted to smoke, so that makes no sense. She has been with a bunch of guys, has a mouth of a sailor and just has that "Bite Me" attitude. which is something his family will not accept easilly Well a week after them dating he takes her to his families thanksgiving/christmas. That hurt. Im friends with his cousin and his girlfriend. they said that no one talked to her and that im missed within the family. His cousin (which is a guy) says that he thinks he will come around and i think so too but it scares me. Im scared he wont. Im scared that this isnt a rebound. The thing that makes no sense is that he isnt even acting himself. My ex is such a loveable, cute, dorkish guy. This just doesnt seem like him. Its the total oppisite of him which hurts too. Im praying that this is a phase. I have been doing the NC rule and trying to let this relationship play out but its so hard because I love him and it hurts for how short we were broken up to date someone for how long we dated...... what do i need to do to get him back. how long do rebounds last? and how often do ex come back after their rebounds. we never have fought we just broke up and then this happens. please help. please dont say to move on. Im not ready and Im not one to go down without a fight Edited December 4, 2011 by Stuck in a rut forgot detail
BoredAgain Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Sorry to say this, but there's probably no point in fighting to get him back. From what you've written, it seems like he's having fun with this new girl right now. So if you try to force yourself back in his life, he's likely to end up resenting you for it. The best thing you can do is just give him space (stick with NC) and work on your own life. You don't have to even think of it as "moving on" if that's too painful... just think of it as an opportunity to focus on yourself. Strengthen relationships with friends and family, try meeting new friends, focus on your schoolwork, pick up new hobbies, etc. If you do that, then you can't lose. It may take a year, but he's likely to realize his mistake and come crawling back. By that point, you'll have grown enough that you can either (a) have a better and more mature relationship with him or (b) decide that you've actually moved on to new and better relationships.
thepedestrian Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 BoredAgain just gave you the best advice. Take it and run with it.
mike588 Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Quick answer to a few of your questions. I was my exs rebound guy,, it/we lasted almost one year,,, she went back to him.
M2155 Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 You're very young, this probaby isn't the first time in life you will experience love or loss. What you have to remember is that worrying about trying to bring him back, probably isn't going to bring him back. He needs to explore and you just have to let him. Then yes, he may come back around when he realizes he no longer has you. My ex also went back to the girl he was dating before me after 1.5 years together. You just never know but the one that has his heart will have him in the end. Just take confidence in who you are and know you will be alright either way, because that is what will attract whoever is supposed to be in your life.
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