andtheyslept Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 I'm not sure how I should advance with this girl and would love for any advice you guys can give. This girl and I were talking A LOT over the summer and hung out around 5-7 times. We fooled around and stuff. As everyone says, we connected really well and talked about everything and anything. She eventually said she didn't want to be in a relationship and I was okay with that, sort of. We still talked for about a month afterwards and then kind of just stopped talking. Now, over the summer we were both in weird places. I had just come out of a relationship of 5 years and so did she. I'm feeling like myself again and doing the things I love again etc etc etc. And she's said the same thing to me about feeling like herself again. So, we didn't talk about 2 months. Then outta nowhere, she texted me and we started talking a little bit. We began talking online again and she told me she really missed talking to me and she also told me she missed cuddling with me and hanging out with me. That was about a week ago and we've talked everyday for week. I still have feelings for her even though I haven't really brought them up again in fear of scaring her away. Normally I would just think she wants to be friends again and thats fine, but why did she say she missed cuddling me and stuff like that? How should I go about handling all this? Or am I just being a dumb guy and reading into things too much and maybe shes just looking for attention? Thanks for any help!
DonCanard Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Which head are you thinking with: the big one or the small one? If the latter, then no fooling around for a few months should get the relationship on to a firm footing.
No_Leaders Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 I'd approach this with a weary set of eyes. Keep your guard up, especially if you had gotten out of a serious relationship you don't wanna go rushing into things. I'm in a similar situation with this girl at the moment. Just take it a day at a time and see how things progress, don't over analyze things or rush anything
Author andtheyslept Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 Well last night she told me shes afraid to hangout with me and get too close because we'll end up dating and she cant handle another break up. How the hell do I react to that?
Author andtheyslept Posted December 4, 2011 Author Posted December 4, 2011 Which head are you thinking with: the big one or the small one? If the latter, then no fooling around for a few months should get the relationship on to a firm footing. Yeah but shes afraid to even hangout with me
Author andtheyslept Posted December 19, 2011 Author Posted December 19, 2011 bump, i'm starting to think he just wants attention? She's giving me three different reasons on why she doesn't want to hangout.. yet she will text me and talk to me online all the time. Anyone have advice?
I am who I am Posted December 20, 2011 Posted December 20, 2011 Well, the first thing to do is to start dating other women and to keep doing the things you love to do. Now, obviously, I don't know the ends and outs of your relationship, nor how old either of you are, but... I do know this type of situation. In fact, one of the girls I'm "dating" is just like this. At some point in your "hanging out" phase, the level of attraction dropped. Trying to analyze why? what? how? is futile and self-defecating. When someone stops talking to you for months and then calls again... generally means that they just ended seeing someone else, and they are now "lonely" and needing their ego stroked. All said, STOP getting hung up on this one girl. She is not hung up on you. How do I know? You told us (and she told you)... she doesn't want to get close to you (insert whatever reason here). Reality is she is keeping her options open, and so should you! No reason to "kick her to the curb". Keep her friendship, and possibly her as a "booty call" (though she will be in charge of who's calling and when, but who cares! you're dating other women now, right?!) Play your cards right, and you will be her booty call when shes lonely (and you too for that matter). The notion that you will somehow "win her over" is a sure fired way to lose her attention for good. Stop asking her out... after all she's flaking on you anyways, right? Play it nonchalant... but most importantly, don't blow her off cause your "upset, mad, hurt... blow her off because you have plans with someone else! Want to build attraction in others (regardless of sex)? Be the person they want to be and/or want to be around by succeeding in your personal goals. Then you don't have to worry why they text you all day... you know why. TLDR; "I'm not sure how I should advance with this girl" You don't. Shrug her off. Its a lost cause. Keep her around for random booty calls at best. Date others. Empower yourself by living the life you want.
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