Kyle787 Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 So I have been on a couple casual dates lately. Also had a couple interesting rejections, but my good friend is still on my mind. I get along with her really well and that is causing some feelings for her. However, she has been in a relationship with this scum bag who cheated on her before. Her friends/family even disapprove more than I do. It seems like everyone criticizing them has done nothing at all since her friends don't like this guy either. I don't know the best approach. I don't want to fuel anything the opposite way by telling them they are cute if that is what that would do though. My primary concern is getting her away from him. Although I love to see her happy, I don't want her getting hurt. To have her ultimately start to have greater feelings for me would just be a bonus. My other friend who is also around her age just told me when she was in a bad relationship, everyone's disapproval just made them closer so that is why I'm asking.
carhill Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Since she apparently has the psychology to cling to a relationship where infidelity is a feature, it follows that any outside criticism of such would be considered an attack on her love and a point to defend. IME, the best way to deal with it is to voice an opinion as a response to statements by her and then move on. If her choice makes your friendship unhealthy, end it. Presuming she's an adult, she's completely responsible for her life choices. A good friend supports that responsibility and encourages ownership of it. You can't 'save' her. She saves herself, if that is her path. If other, other. Do you think she'll be around to 'save' you in your time of need? Reflect upon that.
Mrlonelyone Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 It depends on who's doing the criticism. You make it sound like this woman is going through a rebellious phase. In such a phase she will not listen to anyone but her new set of "rebellious" friends. Parents, Family, and old friends disapproval only confirms that she's being rebellious. Your best bet is just to forget this woman and watch her self destruct.
Untouchable_Fire Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I read this here on LS years ago and thought it was creepy, but might fit your situation. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t127666/
Author Kyle787 Posted December 3, 2011 Author Posted December 3, 2011 Thanks for the replies, I first began with criticising them. I wouldn't do it nearly as much as her girl friends, but I did do it. After that, I tried ignoring her when in group situations. I didn't want anything to do with her and that has done nothing. Just a few weeks ago she was actually almost killed because this boyfriend tried to beat a red light and she was in the passenger seat. Thankfully the doctors were able to work their magic. I was at the hospital 6 out of the 7 days visiting. Then I went back into the ignoring phase, I can't just give up on the friendship as we have been through so much including prom back in high school.
runner Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I read this here on LS years ago and thought it was creepy, but might fit your situation. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t127666/ ugh. i didn't even have to read past a few lines to feel
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