Stealthblond Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I dont really know where to begin without rambling on too much? I live in the south of England and my boyfriend in Scotland, we have been together a year and its been amazing! We talk about getting married one day and children and houses all the things that make me grin like a cheshire cat...but there are two major things that seem to be becoming an obsession now (not that i would admit to him how bad i've got)! Firstly about 9 months in to the relationship he had a what he calls "a freak out" he went quiet for 2 days no contact then called one day and said he cant do this anymore...he said lots of things but it was mainly that he wanted to make sure he was with me because he wanted to be and not because he needed me (he was unemployed when we met and split up from his ex whom he moved to England for and she cheated, he moved back but lost everything, his house, clothes, his person...i bought him back to life he says) anyway he realised he did love me and he wants to be with me im so happy but its eating me up inside that he would do it again? whilst we were not together he kept in contact everyday just "hey how are u" but at weekends he would disappear! i later found out from his mum that he would hang out with a girl and get drunk and now im convinced it was because he thought the grass was greener....... i do understand that! Our relationship is hard anyway only seeing each other once a moth for a long weekend (4 days) its amazing and we talk everyday...we talk about being together, me moveing to Scotland.......Hold on! im the one with the 11 year career and a disabled brother which i need to be near (my parents are getting older and although he is in a wonderful community home im the eldest, i want to support them) he is temping in a job he loves and wants to make a stable home for us, its cheaper and probably easier for me transfer in my job but he isnt compromising at all!! he will not move to England (maybe one day he thinks). Ok so sorry about the rambling i think i just want to tell someone that understands my situation?! i want to be with him, thats not the issue...its the fact that i am considering moving but im so scared he dosnt seem to realise the impact of him dumping me and that he wont consider England if i cant move!
skakitty Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Have you had a serious discussion with him about how much that behaviour upset you and the impact it had and will have on you again in terms of you trusting him etc?
creighton0123 Posted December 8, 2011 Posted December 8, 2011 His actions aside (if you understand the emotional insecurities behind them), if the two of you can't agree on how and when to end the distance, you will not work out. It's simple. You move to him, he moves to you, or the two of you move somewhere together. One of you (or both of you) will have to compromise. If you can't, the distance will become more and more difficult.
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