musemaj11 Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I have only ever heard women complaining about wanting a man who knows how to 'treat a woman right'. But I never heard of a man who demands the same. Is it because men are more selfless and think less about taking while thinking more about giving?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 You must have missed the strip club thread. Men are certainly not thinking less about taking. I suspect the statement steams from way back when when women were more abject to unfair treatment then men. But yes, men can also be abject to unfair treatment and it is best when men and women can work together to respect one another. Women should treat a man right and vice versa. I also suspect that women tend to talk about their relationships and relationship experiences more which would cause women to say that statement more then men. Although, men make like minded statements about how they are treated but it's usually not as cliche. It crops up differently.
Emilia Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I have only ever heard women complaining about wanting a man who knows how to 'treat a woman right'. But I never heard of a man who demands the same. Is it because men are more selfless and think less about taking while thinking more about giving? Plenty of guys on this board talk about how they want to be treated. Read dasein's or thatone's posts for example. They have very clear views on what they want from their partners.
flutterbykiss Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 You must have missed the strip club thread. Men are certainly not thinking less about taking. Absolutely. I also suspect that women tend to talk about their relationships and relationship experiences more which would cause women to say that statement more then men. Although, men make like minded statements about how they are treated but it's usually not as cliche. It crops up differently. Yep. I agree with this, too.
grkBoy Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 The problem is too many men never ask for it. The hot looking spoiled selfish shallow b***h is the same thing as the hot bad boy. Women tolerate his BS because he's hot and exciting. Men tolerate the "SSB" because she's hot and exciting, plus they hope she's a guaranteed amazing lay.
Feelsgoodman Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I have only ever heard women complaining about wanting a man who knows how to 'treat a woman right'. But I never heard of a man who demands the same. Is it because men are more selfless and think less about taking while thinking more about giving? Yes, men are definitely more selfless and noble creatures than women. When was the last you've heard of a woman putting her life at risk to save a stranger? Or even a friend? Men do it all the time. The only person a woman might risk her life for is her direct offspring (because of the biological attachment between the mother and the child).
El Brujo Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 The reason you never hear about it is because men don't rattle off about it, they go straight to a divorce lawyer about it.
thatone Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 LOL...hardly. It's because as a general rule, women are more giving creatures to BEGIN with. It's a woman's nature to nurture and do things for those they love and care about. There seem to be very few 'selfless' men out there who give as much as women do. Hell, read the majority of the posts here on LS. I've lost count of how many women discuss doing this and doing that for their boyfriends/husbands and they barely get anything in return, much less a thank you. that's completely subjective. the bottom line is most people do as little as possible to get what they want, because they are primarily concerned with themselves. some are just better at hiding their motives and indifference than others.
Els Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Once upon a time, several months ago, I would have tried to kindly point the OP to threads and articles on 'treating your man right'. Given that people have been doing so for an entire year now and his opinion has changed not one whit, it seems akin to talking to a brick wall. Ignore.
ShannonMI Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I have only ever heard women complaining about wanting a man who knows how to 'treat a woman right'. But I never heard of a man who demands the same. Is it because men are more selfless and think less about taking while thinking more about giving? Men wanting to be treated right they just don't voice it like us women. If they did they'd be considered a whining pansy ass.
joystickd Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Men wanting to be treated right they just don't voice it like us women. If they did they'd be considered a whining pansy ass. That's true. There's a lot of thing that women are more open to talk about than men
carhill Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I made the mistake of doing that without a proper pre-nup in place. Oops.... Generally, in my life experience, men who share any similar 'feelings' are seen as weak. Prey. I've tested such boundaries since divorcing. The women simply disappear. They want a real, 'normal' man, like a 'big tree' who can take essentially anything thrown at him without complaint. It's OK if he walks away or responds in anger or 'that's unacceptable', but don't 'complain'. My experience generally parallels Neals. People do as little as possible to get what they want. The id dominates.
Woggle Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Because men these days don't have the balls to say it. Never give a woman what she isn't willing to give back herself. Don't her demand the sun, moon and stars while barely throwing you a bone.
ShannonMI Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 That's true. There's a lot of thing that women are more open to talk about than men Women are expected to voice their emotions because women are emotional creatures. Men really aren't. It sure would be nice though if they did. Things would be a lot easier.
Woggle Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Women are expected to voice their emotions because women are emotional creatures. Men really aren't. It sure would be nice though if they did. Things would be a lot easier. When we do it usually ends up turning a woman off.
ShannonMI Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 When we do it usually ends up turning a woman off. Well to me it wouldnt be a turn off. If he was a whiny bitch THAT would be a different story. I dated a guy for a number of years that would cry over certain things. To some women that would be a turn off, but I loved that about him. He was in touch with his emotions. He wasn't a whiny bitch, but certain things would make him emotional. It was refreshing to be with a guy that could show emotion like that.
Flicka Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 is my mantra. But then again, my man deserves it.
Woggle Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I got crap for crying at my best friend's funeral so that showed me not to show too much emotion. I realize all women are not like that but the crap I got for not being made of stone really makes me afraid to be vulnerable in front of a woman these days.
ShannonMI Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I got crap for crying at my best friend's funeral so that showed me not to show too much emotion. I realize all women are not like that but the crap I got for not being made of stone really makes me afraid to be vulnerable in front of a woman these days. From your wife? Wow you're supposed to cry at funerals. If you don't people usually look at you funny. My guy would cry over movies sometimes. I thought it was adorable.
Woggle Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 From your wife? Wow you're supposed to cry at funerals. If you don't people usually look at you funny. My guy would cry over movies sometimes. I thought it was adorable. My ex wife. My best friend was murdered and she said she lost attraction for me when she saw me crying at his funeral because real men don't do that. My current would never do something like that but having to keep all your emotions bottled up in order not to cause a storm is not something that's easy to undo.
ShannonMI Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 My ex wife. My best friend was murdered and she said she lost attraction for me when she saw me crying at his funeral because real men don't do that. My current would never do something like that but having to keep all your emotions bottled up in order not to cause a storm is not something that's easy to undo. That woman was a F*CKING wacko, Wog. Nothing she said should have made you think badly about yourself. I know that reversing that "tough guy" behavior is hard, but there is nothing wrong with emotions. Have a good cry sometime. It feels good.
Untouchable_Fire Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Well to me it wouldnt be a turn off. If he was a whiny bitch THAT would be a different story. I dated a guy for a number of years that would cry over certain things. To some women that would be a turn off, but I loved that about him. He was in touch with his emotions. He wasn't a whiny bitch, but certain things would make him emotional. It was refreshing to be with a guy that could show emotion like that. I can't cry at movies. The only thing that can me a bit choked up are real life stories of self sacrifice... My ex wife. My best friend was murdered and she said she lost attraction for me when she saw me crying at his funeral because real men don't do that. My current would never do something like that but having to keep all your emotions bottled up in order not to cause a storm is not something that's easy to undo. I had a similar experience with my xGF when my grandfather passed away. I believe this attitude is more common among women that most people think. Just like there are certain guys that just get crazy pissed when a woman cries.
ShannonMI Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I can't cry at movies. The only thing that can me a bit choked up are real life stories of self sacrifice... I had a similar experience with my xGF when my grandfather passed away. I believe this attitude is more common among women that most people think. Just like there are certain guys that just get crazy pissed when a woman cries. It's not common for me. My thing is if you don't cry at a funeral, man or woman, there is something wrong with you. Unless of course it's someone you didn't know all that well. Someone f-ing DIED. Like they are gone forever. If that isn't enough to tear up, I don't know what is. My ex would cry at movies. Also there was a traumatic thing we went through together as a couple and whenever we talked about it or if something reminded him of it, he would bawl like a baby. I found that so endearing. I'd cry just because HE was crying.
carhill Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Have a good cry sometime. It feels good Indeed it does. A lifetime of experiences has taught me, save for a very select few circumstances, most recently the funerals of a couple friends and the death of my mom, to do it privately. It is a learned behavior, socialized into me by a lifetime of interactions with other people, men and women both. IMO, part of 'treating a man right' is accepting and valuing the breadth of his humanity and human responses but, so far, it's been a mixed bag. I've noted, such learned behavior can be un-learned, but it is not a simple process. Work continues.
Els Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 My ex wife. My best friend was murdered and she said she lost attraction for me when she saw me crying at his funeral because real men don't do that. My current would never do something like that but having to keep all your emotions bottled up in order not to cause a storm is not something that's easy to undo. That's disgusting. My opinion of a real man is that he isn't afraid of what people think. Being able to display emotion in a time of real grief (ie funerals) instead of fearing what others may think of him, is part of that. So I find men who are able to let themselves cry at funerals as all the more manly. On the other hand, if he cried because he fell down or broke a nail... possibly not so.
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