Sugarkane Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I was discussing this with my friends. They think that it's better to go to a bar/ restaurant where you can get a drink aka Dutch courage. As you naturally feel more nervous on a first date. Just as long as you don't get drunk of coarse. They think that just going for coffee did t show as much interest. What do you think?
WhiteChocolate Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I'm 19 so I can't legally use alcohol as a conversation lubricant yet. That said... drinks DO make things (usually) more light-hearted, while when getting coffee you actually need to think to keep the conversation going. But then you get to see early on how you actually interact with him without being tipsy. Up to you
Feelin Frisky Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Coffee is not a date. It's a good "pre-date feeler-outer" though. If the coffee and conversation go very well then it's probably dinner and maybe something else depending on who she is. (I don't mean sex. I mean, like say, it's summer and there's a local fireworks display, or there's a fair, or even going to a night club for a dance or comedy).
Casablanca Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Coffee is not a date. It's a good "pre-date feeler-outer" though. If the coffee and conversation go very well then it's probably dinner and maybe something else depending on who she is. (I don't mean sex. I mean, like say, it's summer and there's a local fireworks display, or there's a fair, or even going to a night club for a dance or comedy). This, for me it all depends on how we met. If a friend is setting me up, or its someone I met online, coffee (or a bar usually a bar unless its a work night) to get a feel for them (and make sure they or my friend didnt misrepresent themselves) and then I'll evaluate if I want a second date. If it is someone I know and are friends with, or good acquaintances where we're comfortable with each other, dinner and some other activity afterwards...and like above poster, doesnt mean sex. If its someone I met at a party or a social outing, if I got to talk with them a lot, I'll go for a full date, but if its someone I only talked to for a little bit, then I'll do coffee or bar. So for me coffee/bar is to get a feeler if I want to put in more investment.
thatone Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 if it isn't, don't worry, you can come to LS and tell us all about how you made up your mind about whether someone drinks coffee or not is ok and no matter which way it goes it'll be the fault of the entire male half of the species.
grkBoy Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I think coffee dates are ideal for things like setups where this is the first time you're meeting or online dating. Any other time, I'll do dinner/drinks. My rationale is like the others. When you both haven't met really in person, it's just good to keep it simple and conversational. See if there is chemistry and if it's worth pursuing further.
monkey00 Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 (edited) IME, I would opt for drinks (and dinner) over coffee for a first date. The majority of coffee dates I've had were kind of awkward and rarely secured a second date...but then it could have just been the girls. Drinks also have a tendency to loosen the nerves when meeting for the first time and it allows people to open up more easily with the alcohol. Also if you meet a girl that doesn't drink at all, then she can be the kind of person that might be uptight in general. Taking her out for drinks will reveal that. Edited December 3, 2011 by monkey00
Feelin Frisky Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 When it comes to a "feeler-outer" meeting, I'm dead set against "drinks". Alcohol effects people differently but one thing it does to many people is it gets them to be atypical for who they really are. And when that happens and they get the alcohol out of their system they often regret what they said and did. What a crappy way to start out a potential friendship much less a relationship. I know I've given out my number and dodged the call the next day. A brief encounter to see if you might do well on a date is best kept sober with anything but alcohol--unless of course you don't mind going with a lush who needs a few drinks to become their confident personae.
in_absentia Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Coffee would be an ideal first date for me. I wouldn't wanna date anybody who needed alcohol to speak to new people, we all know it's nerve wracking but ya know, wo/man up and just go for it. Plus what's the point in finding out you get along well drunk, but have nothing but awkwardness sober? Plus I don't drink so I'd feel a little awkward sat drinking soda while the guy was knocking back pints. With a coffee date you can drag it out as long as you like (do something after) or bail after one drink if you know it isn't gonna work. With dinner/drinks there's kinda a long specific time frame you have to be together.
DearAbby Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I hate coffee dates. First of all, there is nothing sexy about them. You have to go to a coffee date in casual clothes. I feel better when I am dressed up. I can't flirt with someone I don't know over coffee it's just so awkward LOL. When people ask me for coffee, I love coffee, but I don't even go. It's just a waste of my time to meet a stranger for coffee for an hour. I would rather meet for a drink or appetizers. I do not expect the guy to spend a lot of money or take me to a fancy place, but I just feel that a sexier atmosphere gives the chance of sparks while a coffee shop says boring, unsexy, and that the guy is cheap LOL
Celestine Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I love coffee. I love coffee dates. I mean I think I'd hate to go to a coffee shop on a date like Starbucks, but I love going to these nice little places to have a coffee. My ex boyfriend set our first date at a nice cafe, I had never heard of it before. It was in the backyard of a very old building, there were only 4 tables, it was beautifully arranged, great cakes, great coffee. Looking back it was the best first date I've had. He had me on that day, I would have done anything to meet that guy again. I still love going to that place when I'm in town.
Ilovewater Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Also if you meet a girl that doesn't drink at all, then she can be the kind of person that might be uptight in general. Taking her out for drinks will reveal that. Not all women who don't drink are uptight.... Coffee dates are nice for first "dates" if you're meeting them online and have no idea what they are like. Coffee dates are usually shorter, so you don't have to stay for long if you end up not liking the person. Whereas with a dinner date, you might be stuck with that person for a few hours.
FitChick Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Afternoon tea at a luxury hotel is a wonderful first date (for me, at least).
monkey00 Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 I hate coffee dates. First of all, there is nothing sexy about them. You have to go to a coffee date in casual clothes. I feel better when I am dressed up. I can't flirt with someone I don't know over coffee it's just so awkward LOL. When people ask me for coffee, I love coffee, but I don't even go. It's just a waste of my time to meet a stranger for coffee for an hour. I would rather meet for a drink or appetizers. I do not expect the guy to spend a lot of money or take me to a fancy place, but I just feel that a sexier atmosphere gives the chance of sparks while a coffee shop says boring, unsexy, and that the guy is cheap LOL Yeah you make a good point it's all about the mood. Nothing like bright lights and sitting face to face with a warm drink and interviewing each other making it weird.
DearAbby Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 Yeah you make a good point it's all about the mood. Nothing like bright lights and sitting face to face with a warm drink and interviewing each other making it weird. Omg I agree so much. It's weird. Interviewy. If you think you may like a girl, take her somewhere to meet up thats sexy or even action orientated. Sometimes, doing something adrenaline rushing is cool too. But back to coffee dates, nothing says more boring then sitting at Starbucks glaring at each other awkwardly not feeling any sparks.
El Brujo Posted December 4, 2011 Posted December 4, 2011 I was discussing this with my friends. They think that it's better to go to a bar/ restaurant where you can get a drink aka Dutch courage. As you naturally feel more nervous on a first date. Just as long as you don't get drunk of coarse. They think that just going for coffee did t show as much interest. What do you think? There are plenty of singles groups in my area who meet in the morning at coffee shops instead of doing the happy hour thing, and none of them are complaining. Unfortunately I dislike the taste of coffee about as much as I dislike the taste of alcohol... :-(
Recommended Posts