Bazamu Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 I read all these posts on here and about 80% of them are dark stories about their ex's running them around the park while they are having all the fun, while the other side is in a miserable state of mind. I feel that some of these posts are comforting and somewhat addicting. Reading these posts makes me feel some hope in life that it takes time and some effort to move forward. I believe that reading these forums can make it worse and make you think about your breaking up even more, since we are always writing about our exs and how painful it is to see or hear them with someone else. I have been reading these forums and I am always on my phone refreshing the page to see who else has replied to mine or someone elses thread. Life feels slower when you lose a loved one and they or you do not want them back. Some good and some for worse. My opinion to my situation has made dwell a little more on what is going on. Its like my ex is the hamster in my head running on a wheel that never stops. I am not trying to persuade people to stop reading these posts and thread, for I know you find them comforting as well, hence why you are reading this right now, but is it really neccesary to dwell for this long? Pain is different for everyone and all on here are discovering or have discovered how bad heartbreak is. No potion, remedy or pill to make this go away. Just time and time itself. No matter how hard I dwell on the facts, I will always have my ex running in the back, never stopping to take a breath, while I am out on the sideline watching this all go by. The nights get longer and time seems to go slower. Thousands of people go through this everyday and a pretty good percentage moves on.
radiodarcy Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) i really think it depends on a person's approach to these forums really. i came on here because i could tell if i pined over my ex to one more of my friends i well -- wouldn't have any. not only that, i found it comforting to come on here and see posts from other people who are going through the same feelings that i was. it made me feel less alone and freak-ish. i really did feel like i was alone in all this and that one one else understood. once i realized that wasn't true, it made it a lot easier for me to accept my feelings and experience them in a healthy way. it's been 8 months and i can honestly say i'm over my ex. the reason i'm back here is because i got dumped by someone else but hey - - i'll survive i also come back here because i like to try and offer advice to others who are going through the same thing. that being said - - i do look at the dating threads from time to time, but those can get pretty harsh. i honestly feel this forum has more positivity and support. i do think you're right that people who use these forums as a way to pine and refuse to listen to any of the advice (particularly that pertaining to NC) then it's going to hurt them more than help them. Edited December 2, 2011 by radiodarcy
stunned8165 Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 I have to some what dissagree. I have found that I'm better off venting here then to my family and friends as much as I was until I found LS. I love my family and friends for all their support. But unless they are actually, or have gone through the same thing, they really don't understand. It's so easy for people to say "just forget about it" or "just move on".. Easier said then done my friend. But at least here, it keeps me from breaking no contact. Because before LS, I was attempting LC just be ingnored and was hurting myself. Like you, I have that hampster in my head too. So I have to tip my hat to all the great people here who have been through the same thing.
Author Bazamu Posted December 2, 2011 Author Posted December 2, 2011 I would have to agree with that. The people on here are all helpful in the situations that we are in, because they have been there before. It does feel great, I wish I could move on faster though. Forgetting will always be a hard thing to do. I need to have a cold heart, so it can be easier haha
lilyblue Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 i really think it depends on a person's approach to these forums really. i came on here because i could tell if i pined over my ex to one more of my friends i well -- wouldn't have any. not only that, i found it comforting to come on here and see posts from other people who are going through the same feelings that i was. it made me feel less alone and freak-ish. i really did feel like i was alone in all this and that one one else understood. i honestly feel this forum has more positivity and support. Totally agree with all of that. That is why I come here.
lolita jade Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 People avoid you in real life if you are always down and negative and crying about your ex. My daughter actually said she didn't ring me because I was always down and it is her dad too, so difficult. When you are negative too, some people tell you things you really dont want to hear. People on here are in the same/ similar boats and you can moan to your hearts content. I have learnt tons on here about break ups and how to deal with them. I do agree though, you have to get to a positive stage after a reasonable amount of time and stop wallowing. Then it is good to post positive things also and maybe avoid reading the very negative ones when you have moved on from that stage in your break up.
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