irish08 Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 I am in serious need of some thoughts on this! So, I became really close friends with this guy in June, we started hanging out everyday, calling and texting everyday....he started calling me his best friend. During this time, he was recovering from a broken heart. In September we slept together, which I promptly ended and told him that FWB was not what I wanted. The day after he came to me telling me he can't stop thinking about me, he wanted to be with me....blah, blah, blah. So of course, I liked him and wanted the same thing. After a week of cuteness and sleepovers, I found out he confronted his ex, and therefore we ended it yet again. Two weeks later, I find myself sleeping with him again. This time I had no expectation of it going any further than FWB. But....he started with how much he liked me, sleeping over all the time, leaving personal items at my house. After 3 weeks of what I thought was GREAT....he called me telling me he was scared, so I ended it, since I figured he wasn't man enough to do it himself. The next day I gave him his stuff back, and he instantly was mad. After 2 weeks of ignoring me, even after I called him and tried to keep the friendship, he texted me, then called me. We had a long talk about how we felt about each other. He told me again that he really liked me, and he didn't really want to end it, but he got scared. We decided to remain just friends, since he says he considers me his best friend. After that conversation, we were texting back and forth the next night and he got all weird on me again! Telling me he wanted to have sex, then telling me I'm blind, calling me by his last name (as in Mrs. ____) and asking me if I want him to commit. Maybe its just me, but if you really like me, commitment wouldn't even be a question. Anyway, the night after that he told me "anything for you & I mean that" after he did me a favor. Am I reading to deep into this? Does he just want sex? What do I do? Ignore him, let the friendship fade....SO CONFUSED!
dasein Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 You are exacerbating this by sending your own mixed signals, no FWB one minute, then sleeping with him the next, then upset because of this or that, when you know or should have known that a healthy relationship with someone with a broken heart is not likely. The best thing for you is to withdraw entirely from this one and date other men, and leave brokenhearted people alone in the future for your own peace of mind. IMO, you are the rebound and once he finds someone who hasn't seen him at his brokenhearted worst, he will move on from you and leave you hurting.
freestyle Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 ^^^ He's right. People freshly out of relationships, who haven't recovered & healed fully, are very likely to take you on quite the rollercoaster ride. Unless you like the back and forth drama---you'd be better off finding someone who isn't still in a tailspin. Brokenhearted people will be seeking instant validation to bolster their own self-esteem, and often don't have enough awareness to consider how their actions are affecting anyone else in their sphere.
bittersweet memories Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) I am in serious need of some thoughts on this! So, I became really close friends with this guy in June, we started hanging out everyday, calling and texting everyday....he started calling me his best friend. During this time, he was recovering from a broken heart. In September we slept together, which I promptly ended and told him that FWB was not what I wanted. The day after he came to me telling me he can't stop thinking about me, he wanted to be with me....blah, blah, blah. So of course, I liked him and wanted the same thing. After a week of cuteness and sleepovers, I found out he confronted his ex, and therefore we ended it yet again. Two weeks later, I find myself sleeping with him again. This time I had no expectation of it going any further than FWB. But....he started with how much he liked me, sleeping over all the time, leaving personal items at my house. After 3 weeks of what I thought was GREAT....he called me telling me he was scared, so I ended it, since I figured he wasn't man enough to do it himself. The next day I gave him his stuff back, and he instantly was mad. After 2 weeks of ignoring me, even after I called him and tried to keep the friendship, he texted me, then called me. We had a long talk about how we felt about each other. He told me again that he really liked me, and he didn't really want to end it, but he got scared. We decided to remain just friends, since he says he considers me his best friend. After that conversation, we were texting back and forth the next night and he got all weird on me again! Telling me he wanted to have sex, then telling me I'm blind, calling me by his last name (as in Mrs. ____) and asking me if I want him to commit. Maybe its just me, but if you really like me, commitment wouldn't even be a question. Anyway, the night after that he told me "anything for you & I mean that" after he did me a favor. Am I reading to deep into this? Does he just want sex? What do I do? Ignore him, let the friendship fade....SO CONFUSED! Seems like you are also giving him mix messages. No FWB thats not something you wanted. Than 2 weeks later you go back to FWB with no expectations. Say What You Mean. Mean What You Say... He seems to come around and want to commit when he wants sex and than he gets scared and leaves. It's like a cycle with him. Let him do the chasing and stop calling him. Edited December 2, 2011 by bittersweet memories
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