nicktodd Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 My story in a nutshell... Girlfriend dumped me. Luckily I came here and hit the NC button straight away. I was doing REALLY well - read everything on here, started working out, new clothes, new haircut etc, started going out more...didn't make contact with the ex, no phone calls, texts, emails, didn't even drive the same way to work because it passed her street! Five weeks later I even surprised myself how well I was doing....until...get a call today from a friend saying she heard from someone else that my ex is now seeing my old boss! WTF! This guy and I hated each other. And my ex always said she was repulsed by him. I feel totally embarrassed and feel like a fool. I hope I'm not at square one again! Any tips to remain focused and stay strong with the NC after this shock and setback? (Geez, I was going SO well - wish friends would remember 'ignorance is bliss') Thanks for your help, Nick
mike588 Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 My story in a nutshell... Girlfriend dumped me. Luckily I came here and hit the NC button straight away. I was doing REALLY well - read everything on here, started working out, new clothes, new haircut etc, started going out more...didn't make contact with the ex, no phone calls, texts, emails, didn't even drive the same way to work because it passed her street! Five weeks later I even surprised myself how well I was doing....until...get a call today from a friend saying she heard from someone else that my ex is now seeing my old boss! WTF! This guy and I hated each other. And my ex always said she was repulsed by him. I feel totally embarrassed and feel like a fool. I hope I'm not at square one again! Any tips to remain focused and stay strong with the NC after this shock and setback? (Geez, I was going SO well - wish friends would remember 'ignorance is bliss') Thanks for your help, Nick Not that it's not true but be careful from what you hear about someone heard this or that from someone else,gossip? I know it can be a setback but it's not your problem anymore,continue what you have been doing and let go.
PinkPunkCosmo Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 I hope I'm not at square one again! Any tips to remain focused and stay strong with the NC after this shock and setback? (Geez, I was going SO well ) First off let me correct you there you ARE doing GREAT! She is the one that stooped low to get with your old boss, that is just low on her part, you are better than that, laugh it off and keep it going! Your doing great! As for your friends, when you talk to them tell them, if you see my ex, talk to my ex or hear anything about my ex etc do not tell me do not go out of your way to tell me i do not want to know. Simple as that, if they are your friends they know it will hurt you so ignore them and keep it moving your dong great. Regardless these news should make you feel bigger than she is, if she was so called repulsed by him or what not for her to go there is just low. So ignore it feel good about yourself you are doing great and keep doing what you are doing.
Chi townD Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Kinda a sounds like she's hooking up with your old boss to get a rise out of you....could I be wrong? Possibly. Because to do somrthing like that is low and shallow...but, then again, so are all cheaters...
Jack-Torrance Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Your mourning it's normal to feel like that, cry if you must, just stay NC. Keep yourself busy, focus on work and go gym, the time will fly and it'll become a habit, you'll start feeling and thinking less and less about her and more about YOURSELF. Don't worry who she's with, she's your EX, she dumped you but now the balls in your court. Throw out or hide any pics you have of her and DO NOT reply to any texts or emails and DO NOT contact or update any of her friends. I've gone 2 years no contact with a BPD ex who keeps trying to contact me and have'nt caved in to her madness. Good Luck.
Author nicktodd Posted December 2, 2011 Author Posted December 2, 2011 Thanks guys so much for your support... Ironically my ex was BPD herself as well - so when it comes to sex - she could easily go off with anyone - so - yes this could easily be a revenge f**k. She knows this would hurt me significantly - even though it was she who dumped me. Why do friends tell you this kind of stuff - then add 'I just thought you should know'! Well NO - I don't want to know ANYTHING ABOUT HER! Just got to stay strong, laugh it off, move on and MAINTAIN NC ALWAYS! Thanks again guys, Nick
PinkPunkCosmo Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Thanks guys so much for your support... Why do friends tell you this kind of stuff - then add 'I just thought you should know'! Well NO - I don't want to know ANYTHING ABOUT HER! Believe it or not they know it will get under your skin and gossip is gossip, but you are the one that need to give them the stop sign. Tell them i dont want to hear it, don't know, dont care what she does because we are not together good for her and move on. Friends who really care know better than to tell you something about your ex that will get under your skin and hurt you or make you feel bad. Avoid it, if the conversation pops up and your friends can't help themselves the best thing to do is change the conversation to something else it helps to move away from the topic. Dont give her much thought. Good luck with everything your doing great dont take two steps back now, take three steps forward with your life instead
sardeen Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 Maybe you should tell your friend not to be telling you this information. It is a possibility that she is with you to get a rise from you or she is actually interested in the guy. You do not know for sure and there is no use speculating. Get on with your life and do not stoop to that kind of level where you do things and hope she gets the message. Good luck!
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