friskykitty Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Hello everyone. I really need to know what's going on in my long distance relationship. I've been talking to this guy for about six months now and he was giving me all the right signs that he was seriously interested in me. He remembers everything I say.He asks me about my day and if there's something bothering me it bothers him too.He has told me that he really likes me,that he cares for me,values my opinion,connects with me,and that he even feels close to me. So, a few days ago I told him that I think I might be falling in love with him and that I wanted to know how he felt. He told me he didnt love me and I was okay with that answer but, that's not what's bothering me. We still talk to each other and we get along fine but he's been giving me mixed signals ever since that night I told him how I felt about him. After he told me that he didnt love me we continued to talk and then he tells me that he isnt loveable ad that no one wants him. He said it in a kind of joking manner but I know that he meant it. I just don't understand him.I dont get why he would say something like that right after I told him how I felt. He's even become more self-conscious when we video chat.Have I ruined this relationship or is he just holding back for some reason? Can anybody give me some sound advice?
kaleidoscope Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 If he doesn't like you that way or there is no potential of him liking you that way, just reassure him that you needed to express those feelings. If you are not ok with the relationship as is and you want the relationship to progress, you need to tell him that. Maybe the best thing is to be just friends if there is no potential, I don't know. But it sounds like you really like him and want things to move forward. If he isn't ready try to tell him how long you'll wait for him to be closer and more open. Otherwise, you'll just be waiting and waiting...
Author friskykitty Posted December 2, 2011 Author Posted December 2, 2011 If he doesn't like you that way or there is no potential of him liking you that way, just reassure him that you needed to express those feelings. If you are not ok with the relationship as is and you want the relationship to progress, you need to tell him that. Maybe the best thing is to be just friends if there is no potential, I don't know. But it sounds like you really like him and want things to move forward. If he isn't ready try to tell him how long you'll wait for him to be closer and more open. Otherwise, you'll just be waiting and waiting... Ok thanks for the advice. I really would like for us to be more than friends but if he doesn't see it that way then i guess i have no choice but to move on.
kaleidoscope Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Actually I'm interested in your story because I have a friendship via long-distance by email with a woman I think I really love. A past friend I know from high school. I told her and she just says "she understands". I always compliment her and look out for her and care for her but I don't get any response from her. Perhaps she is going through a lot right now and doesn't share with me. But I know I can't wait for her forever. I'm just glad that I told her the truth and that she is still my friend.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 sorry for asking this generic question, but have you met him in person? it might be he could be hiding a relationship or something if you haven't met him yet in person...
Author friskykitty Posted December 2, 2011 Author Posted December 2, 2011 Actually I'm interested in your story because I have a friendship via long-distance by email with a woman I think I really love. A past friend I know from high school. I told her and she just says "she understands". I always compliment her and look out for her and care for her but I don't get any response from her. Perhaps she is going through a lot right now and doesn't share with me. But I know I can't wait for her forever. I'm just glad that I told her the truth and that she is still my friend. Yeah I feel the same way about my situation. Maybe she sees you as just a friend.I'm not so good at giving advice on love.
Author friskykitty Posted December 2, 2011 Author Posted December 2, 2011 sorry for asking this generic question, but have you met him in person? it might be he could be hiding a relationship or something if you haven't met him yet in person... No we haven't met in person.But we are pretty open and honest with each other and it was never an exclusive relationship.I still talked to other guys but,I felt more of a deeper connection with him.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 so what is your plan with him? don't you want to meet up first before professing your feelings? in that way you will know in person if he feels something for you or not. thing is, we cannot know for sure what he feels about you. we can only make guesses but in the end, it's him or you who will be able to tell what the real score is.
Author friskykitty Posted December 2, 2011 Author Posted December 2, 2011 so what is your plan with him? don't you want to meet up first before professing your feelings? in that way you will know in person if he feels something for you or not. thing is, we cannot know for sure what he feels about you. we can only make guesses but in the end, it's him or you who will be able to tell what the real score is. yeah youre right.I guess i should have waited.
kaleidoscope Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 I saw a documentary once about an online relationship. They talked and exchanged pictures but never met. Then one day she flew in from the UK to the USA and met him. They spent a few days together but nothing long term came out of it really. They stayed kind of friends after that but things fizzled. I agree when you meet someone in real, then you'll know. I haven't seen the friend that I like from high school for a very long time and I often wonder if we'll have attraction for each other in real life.
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