xpaperxcutx Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Considering my dating history, you would think my jerk-dar would be on high alert but I Still haven' t been able to avoid jerks completely. Take last night, I'd made plans togo out with a date. Considering how busy it has been for me over the holidays, and after previous cancellations coupled with his persistency to meet up, I made the date with him to go out after work. I was really tired and cranky after my shift but I was really looking forward to spending time with him. So I mmediately right after work, I called him only to have him tell me he was out with friend. At this point, I lost signal and when I called.him back, he wouldn't pick up his phone. As much as I hate being ignored I found it even more disrespect that he couldn't even have had the decency to tell me. When I told my friends afterwards what happened, they told me I shouldn't have wasted my time and to raise my standards a little more. Honestly, I feel like I'm either too gullible or nice or maybe I. Should open my eyes alittle more before I allow another guy to waste my time
Pasttense Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 "At this point, I lost signal and when I called.him back, he wouldn't pick up his phone." Maybe there were still signal problems.
mtber75 Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Maybe you should move out of NYC? Seriously I heard it's like 10 to 1 in favor of single guys, so maybe the guys are picky. I got to move to NYC:) You Have to be more straightforward with guys. Tell them directly that you don't like to play games!
Untouchable_Fire Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 As much as I hate being ignored I found it even more disrespect that he couldn't even have had the decency to tell me. When I told my friends afterwards what happened, they told me I shouldn't have wasted my time and to raise my standards a little more. Honestly, I feel like I'm either too gullible or nice or maybe I. Should open my eyes alittle more before I allow another guy to waste my time The guy is an idiot. You deserve to be treated way better than that. I think if you believed in yourself a bit more these things would piss you off faster and you wouldn't put up with it.
eerie_reverie Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 You know, the same thing is always happening to my smart, sweet, outrageously hot roommate. I have never met a person who's been stood up as pften as her. I'm convinced the reason is that her jerkdar is turned on so high all the time, he only guys she doesn't scare away with her cynicism and suspicion are the players who are only in it for the game. Could it possibly be the same thing with you?
jobaba Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Considering my dating history, you would think my jerk-dar would be on high alert but I Still haven' t been able to avoid jerks completely. Take last night, I'd made plans togo out with a date. Considering how busy it has been for me over the holidays, and after previous cancellations coupled with his persistency to meet up, I made the date with him to go out after work. I was really tired and cranky after my shift but I was really looking forward to spending time with him. So I mmediately right after work, I called him only to have him tell me he was out with friend. At this point, I lost signal and when I called.him back, he wouldn't pick up his phone. As much as I hate being ignored I found it even more disrespect that he couldn't even have had the decency to tell me. When I told my friends afterwards what happened, they told me I shouldn't have wasted my time and to raise my standards a little more. Honestly, I feel like I'm either too gullible or nice or maybe I. Should open my eyes alittle more before I allow another guy to waste my time I don't know why I remember your posts, it's not like you post often. Probably because you are an Asian girl (or have a pic of an Asian girl in your avatar). Anyway, from your previous posts, you go for hot guys and you are in the party club scene. That's why you meet jerks. Simple as that. Average shmuck = nice guy. C'mon, every girl knows that.
phineas Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 OK re-reading this part of your post, obviously if there had been multiple previous cancellations, (you don't say by him, by you, or by both), that in itself should be a clue that there is not a huge degree of interest, or possibly he (or you, depending on who previously cancelled and the reasons for it) is simply "flaky." I note you omitted who was responsible for the prior cancellations--if it was you, then obviously the guy was just giving you a taste of your own medicine; if it was him, and he cancelled on you multiple times before, it means he wasn't interested in you but didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you he had absolutely no interest in you, which means you are not picking up on social cues in these interactions. Persistence is a good thing but only to a point. I noted this also. Who was doing the canceling & who was persisting?
Wolf18 Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 The guys you like to look at in "party central", are going to be "jerks" because they can be.
the wizard Posted December 3, 2011 Posted December 3, 2011 You keep running into jerks because you're acertain type of girl. No nice guy would give his heart to you, no smart guy for that matter.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 9, 2011 Author Posted December 9, 2011 Thanks everyone for your responses. To address all the questions, both him and I have cancelled on each other at least more than once. Our schedule didn't permit us to meet. But that aside, he contacted me a day after his rude cancellation to apologize. Let it be known, he didn't pick up his phone to call but texted me. Flag one. He apologized for his actions and asked me out again, to his place. Flag two. I tried to get him to meet me out in a public place but he continously nagged he was too tired to want to go out. Flag three. So stupid me decided to give him another chance, which, telltale signs already dictated, that he stand me up again. I learned my lesson. Sometimes it is only enough to give a person one chance. Being too nice means being a doormat, and I will admit, I'm only a doormat to my dog. After he cancelled on me, I went out to my friend's lounge in Astoria, and ended up going home with the bartender.
jobaba Posted December 9, 2011 Posted December 9, 2011 As much as I hate being ignored I found it even more disrespect that he couldn't even have had the decency to tell me. When I told my friends afterwards what happened, they told me I shouldn't have wasted my time and to raise my standards a little more. After he cancelled on me, I went out to my friend's lounge in Astoria, and ended up going home with the bartender. You don't mess around...
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 9, 2011 Author Posted December 9, 2011 You don't mess around... I know my update post made mself come across easy but this is one of the ffrst time. I had way too much to drink that night so my inhibition was a little low. It was a ons that doesn' t hold much significance because I ran out of there the very next day.
MGD3 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I know my update post made mself come across easy but this is one of the ffrst time. I had way too much to drink that night so my inhibition was a little low. It was a ons that doesn' t hold much significance because I ran out of there the very next day. Are you looking for a serious or casual relationship?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 Are you looking for a serious or casual relationship? I want a srious relationship which is also the reason why I haven't bothered with anyone since this guy came along. I really don't have the tme and energy t play phne tag... let alone text tag.
MGD3 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I want a srious relationship which is also the reason why I haven't bothered with anyone since this guy came along. I really don't have the tme and energy t play phne tag... let alone text tag. I was thinking you were looking for a casual relationship based on your response to the guy flaking on the date and your response was to get drunk and have a casual encounter immediately. Not judging you, just saying.
snug.bunny Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 You both have cancelled on one another quite frequently, so, neither of you sound "vested" in the other. After he cancelled on me, I went out to my friend's lounge in Astoria, and ended up going home with the bartender. Yeah, try not to do that.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 I was thinking you were looking for a casual relationship based on your response to the guy flaking on the date and your response was to get drunk and have a casual encounter immediately. Not judging you, just saying. I was annoyed and pissed. I worked 7 days that week and got ready to go out after work. I had expected him to pull another stunt like that. You both have cancelled on one another quite frequently, so, neither of you sound "vested" in the other. Yeah, try not to do that. No we were not "vested" but usually making an effort to meet and get to know each. Other prelude further dates and possible. Investment. It's the fact he chose to waste my time made me angry.
snug.bunny Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 I was annoyed and pissed. I worked 7 days that week and got ready to go out after work. I had expected him to pull another stunt like that. No we were not "vested" but usually making an effort to meet and get to know each. Other prelude further dates and possible. Investment. It's the fact he chose to waste my time made me angry. You "expecting" him to pull "another stunt like that" indicates a history of him not being reliable and/or you not having any trust/faith in him. It's okay if you don't, based on certain behaviors and/or lack of certain behaviors, but if it reaches that level (i.e. you not having faith in him to follow through), what's the point... The time that was wasted, was the time it took you to get ready, go there and him not showing. Working 7 days, is you working 7 days, he has nothing to do with your work schedule. Or, does he? But, try not to view your time together as time wasted, because can you really consider it "time wasted", if you enjoyed yourself/him in the process? Plus, you got a little nookie from the bartender right after, so, you got something out of it, right?
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 You "expecting" him to pull "another stunt like that" indicates a history of him not being reliable and/or you not having any trust/faith in him. It's okay if you don't, based on certain behaviors and/or lack of certain behaviors, but if it reaches that level (i.e. you not having faith in him to follow through), what's the point... The time that was wasted, was the time it took you to get ready, go there and him not showing. Working 7 days, is you working 7 days, he has nothing to do with your work schedule. Or, does he? But, try not to view your time together as time wasted, because can you really consider it "time wasted", if you enjoyed yourself/him in the process? Plus, you got a little nookie from the bartender right after, so, you got something out of it, right? That was a typo since. I'm typing from my mobile. I meant to write I never expected him to pull the disappearing act again because when he tried to ask me out again I had specifically told him I wasn' t going to see him unless he was certain about going out. And in a way he did have something to do with my schedule. I had work the very next day in the morning and I was taking time out from a good nights sleep just to see him. I'm not saying tjat he should be so lucky that he gets to go out with me but the fact that I'm trying to fit him into my schedule says I'm being apologetic about my previous cancellations. The nookie with with the bartendr wad unplanned and unnecessary. But I was upset and drunl hence I actwd on impaired judgment. I baely made it to work the next day.
El Brujo Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 Maybe the jerks are God's way of telling you to go out and pick men you'll like, instead of letting jerks pick you.
snug.bunny Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 That was a typo since. I'm typing from my mobile. I meant to write I never expected him to pull the disappearing act again because when he tried to ask me out again I had specifically told him I wasn' t going to see him unless he was certain about going out. And in a way he did have something to do with my schedule. I had work the very next day in the morning and I was taking time out from a good nights sleep just to see him. I'm not saying tjat he should be so lucky that he gets to go out with me but the fact that I'm trying to fit him into my schedule says I'm being apologetic about my previous cancellations. The nookie with with the bartendr wad unplanned and unnecessary. But I was upset and drunl hence I actwd on impaired judgment. I baely made it to work the next day. First things first. Do not react based on impulse... You went home with the bartender on impulse, because you were feeling let down and rejected. You will feel ten times worse in the long run, so, next time something like this happens, if it happens, go home -->>>by yourself. Yes, the typo gave conflicting messages. In one breath, you said "I had expected him to pull another stunt like that" and in another breath, you said "I never expected him to pull the disappearing act again". But, that has since been cleared up. I think it would be good for you to learn how to pull back your expectations. If this had been a recurring theme of his, do not "take time out from a good nights sleep just to see him". You put your money, in a wallet with a hole at the bottom, basically.... Suggesting a time to meet that was in better alignment with your resting schedule, would have been best.
MGD3 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 That was a typo since. I'm typing from my mobile. I meant to write I never expected him to pull the disappearing act again because when he tried to ask me out again I had specifically told him I wasn' t going to see him unless he was certain about going out. And in a way he did have something to do with my schedule. I had work the very next day in the morning and I was taking time out from a good nights sleep just to see him. I'm not saying tjat he should be so lucky that he gets to go out with me but the fact that I'm trying to fit him into my schedule says I'm being apologetic about my previous cancellations. I am wondering why you gave the guy so many chances? What if he made it easy for you? I do not get the impression you would like a straight forward guy like it would be too boring.
Author xpaperxcutx Posted December 10, 2011 Author Posted December 10, 2011 That was a typo since. I'm typing from my mobile. I meant to write I never expected him to pull the disappearing act again because when he tried to ask me out again I had specifically told him I wasn' t going to see him unless he was certain about going out. And in a way he did have something to do with my schedule. I had work the very next day in the morning and I was taking time out from a good nights sleep just to see him. I'm not saying tjat he should be so lucky that he gets to go out with me but the fact that I'm trying to fit him into my schedule says I'm being apologetic about my previous cancellations. I am wondering why you gave the guy so many chances? What if he made it easy for you? I do not get the impression you would like a straight forward guy like it would be too boring. We
MGD3 Posted December 10, 2011 Posted December 10, 2011 We Are you speaking French? Or what do you mean but just "We"?
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