Woggle Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Most of my freakout moments are from reading this board and others on the internet. Meanwhile if I look without negative blinders on I know a good number of happy relationships. Do boards like this and others just attract dysfunctional people?
aj22one Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 The internet attracts dysfunctional people in general. That's why it makes for such good entertainment. Dude, I've known this about the internet since I was in elementary school. It's fairly common knowledge.
norajane Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Of course it does. Dysfunctional, or mostly functional people with dysfunctional relationship issues. It's a skewed, self-selected sample of people. That's the purpose of this board - people with problems seeking advice or a virtual shoulder to cry on. And, in some case, a place people come to vent and/or bitch. There are a lot of hurt, angry, confused, troubled people here, some chronically so, but not all. My friends and family members are almost all in wonderful relationships they wouldn't trade for the world, or do anything to harm each other. They don't come to LS to talk about how great things are for them. I'm happy in my relationship; he's a wonderful guy and we are happy together. I post because I had been troubled when I first came here, and have stayed to try to help others, if I can.
Anela Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 I know people in happy relationships, and I know a lot of single people who are having trouble meeting someone who is good for them - a good match. I also know a few who are in troubled relationships. I haven't been back to the thread, but I see that a thread I was only joking around in, has been locked. I don't know if that was down to my post, or somebody else's, and at the moment, I don't care to find out; as far as I know, I haven't been warned over anything. My main negative feelings have come from my own experience, but I have visited here and instantly felt worse, so I don't visit that often. I'm also wary of adding to the bitterness.
TheLameDuck Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 I just want to figure out why my manhood isn't working
Pasttense Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Compare it to transactions with businesses. Probably 98% or so are satisfactory--but you come to the internet to complain about the 2% which aren't.
betterdeal Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 (edited) Most of my freakout moments are from reading this board and others on the internet. Meanwhile if I look without negative blinders on I know a good number of happy relationships. Do boards like this and others just attract dysfunctional people? You know the answer so I'll skip going over that. Why do you keep coming back to this board and the others which enrage you so? That's a more interesting question. For me, there's force of habit, there's trying out new techniques and responses, there's helping others, there's learning from others, and there's escapism / avoiding real life. The first and last ones of those are diminishing for me. What of those are there for you? What other benefits do you get from cruising these fora? Lastly, are there other ways to achieve the same ends that don't crunch your buttons so much? I don't need to know your answers, but you may well find yourself making a step change if you sit and figure them out for yourself. Edited December 2, 2011 by betterdeal
Emilia Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 I think the vast majority of people experience troubles at some point in their lives (dating or otherwise) and that's when they come to sites like this, it is what happened to me when I found Loveshack about 5 years ago. I've learned so much form others' experiences, I'm not very good at opening up to other people when it comes to my dating life so this place helped me a lot to understand others' perspectives just by reading about them. It helped me a great deal to understand dating after leaving a long marriage, I didn't have that much knowledge of it originally as I got married when I was 21. Nowdays I'm here because work has been incredibly boring (I'm not here in the evenings or during weekends) and due to recession it hasn't been easy find another one yet so have to amuse myself somehow. People's traits and personalities interest me a great deal and I find the variety on LS rewarding to read - though the trolls get tedious. I like carhill's analytical mind just like most do here but reading what men post in general saves me asking my male friends' perspective.
dasein Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 I actually think people here are better quality for the most part than the random people I see IRL. Most of the people "out there" are so self-absorbed that they never even stop to reflect on the types of things people think and post about here. They just do whatever they want in the moment and to hell with how that affects those around them.
carhill Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 Is it different offline? IME, not really. I see a similar balance of issues, personality types and dynamics IRL. The ostensible anonymity here perhaps does enable those aspects to be more transparent, or maybe more like a mirror. Though dynamics have changed in the last decade, my first experiences with the internet 30 years ago, up to maybe 10-12 years ago, were with educated and intelligent people with the wherewithal to gain access to the medium. Those interactions impelled me to continue pursuing this avenue of information and insight, seeing it as a window to the wider world. That world is 'offline' and is made up of billions of people just like you and me. Imperfect.
dasein Posted December 2, 2011 Posted December 2, 2011 If reading and posting here is the most positive thing you can do with your time, then you're being "functional." If there is something else you can do with your time that would be a better use of it, then you may be posting and reading here in a dysfunctional manner or for a dysfunctional reason. This brings up an interesting conundrum. I post to ten other professional type boards and groups, and work while looking back and forth at LS. I imagine many posters here are similarly engaged while on LS. I suppose I could get done with work faster by just focusing on the work to the exclusion of all else, but IMO one of the greatest things about the net is that it allows you to mix work in with entertainment and distraction easily without sacrificing too much productivity. Not sure I want to give that up to always be functioning at the highest and best capacity.
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