Kaplan Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 It occurred to me that I don't show a lot of physical affection around my girlfriend's parents, and that they probably can't tell how much I love their daughter. When I realized this I thought it was rather sad, since I want them to know how I feel about her. I was holding back because I felt like it might send the wrong message. Also, I think I felt like it might be disrespectful to them somehow, and I may also have felt that it might embarrass my girlfriend. Anyway, I mentioned this on the phone to my girlfriend and she got rather upset. She seems to think that I've somehow ruined something by convincing her parents that we aren't in love by not being very physically affectionate with her. She seemed to think it was really stupid that I'd act differently around her parents. She also hinted that she thought maybe this was some clue that I didn't love her enough or something. So my first question is this: isn't it sort of understandable that a guy would act differently around his girlfriend's parents? I mean, it's important to me that they know that I love her and want the best for her, but part of that is not giving the impression that it's just a physical thing for me. I mean we've only been dating a few months (although we've know eachother for a few years,) so from the parents' perspective, I'm just some guy their daughter is dating. Anyway,she started talking about how her parents are always asking her about us and how she doesn't know what to say about where we are going and everything. She seemed like she was concerned herself about where things were going. So I went out on a huge limb and said that what I wanted was to marry her one day. She didn't act very happy when she heard that, and it was obvious she didn't want the same thing. So I started feeling a variety of negative emotions and after a while said that I should probably get some work done and go to bed (it was late at this point, we'd been talking for some time.) And she acted like she had something more to say so I tried to get it out of her, but she never really said anything, just rambled. But she said something like, "Maybe my Dad's right about you and I not going anywhere" and then something about not wanting to "Waste her time if we're not going anywhere." So I asked her, "Well what do you want?" And she said, "I want to pee," and then went to the bathroom. Later she said some stuff to make it sound like the offending part of my "I want to marry you one day" comment was the "one day" part of it, which made it sound like something that would happen in the distant future or something. Anyway, she went on to say that she didn't have any doubts about us, and that she felt the same way as me, and even said, "I want to marry you and start a family with you." But she continued to act bothered, and for the last few days she has been very irritable with me. I don't understand. If she really does feel that way about me then she should feel happy knowing that I feel the same way. Part of me believes her when she eventually said that she felt the same way, but I know there's something bothering her. I'm also wondering if maybe she wants to get married right away and it bothers her that I don't. That would make sense since she was going on about "where is this leading" in the first place so maybe she was trying to provoke a marriage conversation. I don't know what she's thinking. Someone who understands how women think: what do you think she's thinking?
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