patience82 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I have realized a lot of things this year.. that i would like to share. I have loved, lost, played and learned. My previous thread was about this guy i was seeing recently, where i finally learned to open myself to someone .. "i thought was the one" eventually not.. because in reality he just wanted me for a different reason. 3 days ago, was the last time he lied. Because 3 days ago was the last time he made me look stupid. because ........ i just told him .. im done with him... To be honest, i doubted my decision for sometime, but my trick for tricking my heart is, by asking, "was i happy? or will I ever be happy with this guy?" i answered No.. i still think about him and tomorrow I was suppose to cook for him (w/c i enjoy doing) but im saving it for someone who's worth my efforts. I still look at my cellphone from time to time hoping, but ive not much enthusiasm to even send him a message or a reply. It does hurt so much, to know i will miss him, but i tell myself, what do i miss about this person wherein everynight before i sleep I worry, im stressed... and in general "used". Yes I enjoyed my time with him, but i tell myself, i can have fun with some friends, a new guy etc. What was the special thing that i should remember to miss him... I guess just that very first day i met him... thats it. I did QUIT. it wasnt enough to deserve me...... and my mind and my heart.. Im not a strong person ,, Im not even tired of giving, im not angry at him, I just learned to value myself and to insist on myself what i deserve. I just learned to prioritized the things and people that wants to take some space in my mind and in my heart. I dont want to change him, I guess its just me refusing to accept or be blinded by his wrong doings... (im very far from being perfect, but i respect people and i expect that too for myself, if the other person cant give it to me, then i have to do it myself.) Ill be 'lonely" for days weeks months but im happy that i dont have to suffer more severe loneliness as a couple in the future.. If a guy disrespects you now. He'll never change. I learned to smile eventhough the hurt burns 3rd degree.. i have other 10000000xxx things and people to smile about .. and that one person is just one .. over a million. -n-
MusicMan1234 Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Yeah, he was using you. You may be checking the phone to see if he's called or something, but don't fool yourself, he doesn't care. Look, it just seems like you're going for the wrong guys. Remember this: Arrogance does not equal confidence, and mystery does not equal dismissal. If you're able to tell the difference the you're set. If you want someone to cook for, come cook for me! I'm sick of Mi Goreng
M2155 Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Kinda my philosophy for the future. If you show me you want to go, I'm not going to break my neck trying to get in the way. It's a waste of energy. Now I'm going to Google Mi Goreng lol.
Author patience82 Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 if being courageous is perceived as arrogance then im not sure anymore and thats always the initial reaction after a break up is to keep checking communication lines. no? but it doesnt mean I have the cold sweat and urges to start a convo up a convo ... and of course ... all exes are wrong people for someone,, thats why they are called exes.. different strokes for different folks and this is how i cope. i dont have to feel so depressed in order to fit the category of breaking up.
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