justagirrl Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Hi everyone, Not sure if you've read any of my previous threads...but I talked to the guy I've been seeing about "relationships" and where he sees things going. We've been seeing each other for 3 months now, and he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend yet... I basically said "Where do you see things going with us?" And he responded "Honestly, I don't know. I love being with you, but what scares me is that I'm moving back home (40 minutes away) in a month and I could be anywhere in 6 months...you know?" Basically, he's a College Football player at the school we go to, and he has a chance of being drafted into the NFL in the spring...but who knows if it will happen or not!!! Should I try to talk to him more about it and maybe talk about how I know a Long Distance Relationship can seem scary, but you never know until you try it! I know he wants to be with me, but I think he's scared because he's never been in an LDR before and neither have I... We both said we like to keep an open mind because you never know... To me, 40 minutes really isn't that far...but right now, we're literally 5 minutes away from each other so it is a change. I'm willing to do it, but should I bring this up again? We're still seeing each other to this day I'm stuck =/
ladyravenloft Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 To me, 40 is nothing. It sounds, IMO, that he's saying this because he thinks he might find other things to interest him and take up his time and wants to keep his options open. The both of you really need to have a heart to heart to clarify.
aisle_seat Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 40 minutes apart is not an "LDR". I think he must have other issues, but mostly I think he just does not want to be in a committed relationship. I agree with Lady, you need to have a serious conversation with him. If he doesn't want commitment and you do, well...you'll just have to decide what is acceptable to you.
creighton0123 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 40 minutes is nothing. Just ask any couple living in an urban area that must use transit to get to one another. Wait and see what happens if he is drafted. Make a decision then, not now.
Author justagirrl Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 40 minutes is nothing. Just ask any couple living in an urban area that must use transit to get to one another. Wait and see what happens if he is drafted. Make a decision then, not now. OMG that's not until April -____-
Morai Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Lol April is about when I'll be able to see my boyfriend again. And then again maybe not. Its all up in the air, as it is with many long distance relationships. 40 minutes is not long distance. My boyfriend and I are a 9 hour flight away. I'd literally murder someone for forty minutes away.
snowflakes88 Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Uh, 40 minutes is not long distance. I drive 45 minutes to and from work each way, every day. Many people do. That sounds like an excuse... if he really wanted to be with you, 40 minutes wouldn't be a big deal. At all. Go ahead if and bring it up to him if you want, but I can guarantee he's going to keep giving you the runaround about it. I honestly don't see how/why having to talk somebody into wanting to be with you is appealing anyway, but to each her own.
HeavenOrHell Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 I agree, that if he wanted to make a go of things with you, 40 minutes away would not be a problem, it's nothing.
oldguy Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 40 minutes is nothing, I drive that far by accident. The cross roads the two of you are at is probably more to consider at this time than the physical distance. He is will be graduating from college & no matter what career he chooses, things are going to change, drastically & most likely very quickly & the two of you don't sound like there is even a commitment. I don't think this is a good time to push the issue unless both agree there IS more here.
Author justagirrl Posted December 1, 2011 Author Posted December 1, 2011 Let me phrase better, you don't "have" to do anything if you don't want to. It's just my suggestion if you really want to give it a shot. When he said "Honestly, I don't know. I'm moving back home in a month, and could be anywhere in 6 months..." I responded, "You're right, but you never know...I'm willing to keep an open mind about it if you are?" And he said "Yeah me too" So that's where we're at right now. Things are great when we see each other...I'm just scared his mind might change when he's home and realizes he can't see me as much as he used to =/ I don't mind the distance at all and I want to make it work because I feel like he is worth it. I just don't want to get hurt, and I really do believe they don't want to let us down
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