chunkchew Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 cant believe im actually doing this. but my gf of 7 months just asked me for space after this weekend. we are long distance but see each other frequently. Everything has been going great and this came out of no where. She is a very independent woman, however, between work and night school she really doesnt have alot of time for her self and her friends and feels that she only sees me on the weekends and the times that we are together i have acted angry when she wanted to doo somthing that didnt include me. Ill give her that as there have been 2 or 3 occasions where i was frustrated and acted out. i care alot for her and she seems to as well. she would say that i was trying to punish her. the first couple of days after she told me i was pretty confused and not sure how to handle it. i undestand where she is coming from now, but im curious if yall think she is over it? after she told me she wanted space i told her to think it over for a day or two to make sure that she still wanted to date? i gave her an out but she said that she wanted to be with me. i am working on my other issues that have bothered her and told her that i am going to give her space. i think she feels that she is loosing her self. any advice?
creighton0123 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 She wants one thing: to feel less controlled when you're together. An LDR requires patience. If you're visiting and she wants to take a few hours to go out with some friends, surely that's not a major request on her part. Turn your visits with her into a more casual simulation of what things would be like if you weren't visiting, but instead living with or near one another. If she wants to go out, let her go out knowing that you'll be there when she gets back. Having a partner get angry when you want to do something without said partner can be a major turn off.
HeavenOrHell Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 Totally agree with this. She wants one thing: to feel less controlled when you're together. An LDR requires patience. If you're visiting and she wants to take a few hours to go out with some friends, surely that's not a major request on her part. Turn your visits with her into a more casual simulation of what things would be like if you weren't visiting, but instead living with or near one another. If she wants to go out, let her go out knowing that you'll be there when she gets back. Having a partner get angry when you want to do something without said partner can be a major turn off.
Milocat Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 I'm so of the opposite opinion than the other posters. I am assuming that these friends she wants to do stuff with live in the same area as her? Therefore, why not do 'alone' things during the week with them? If she only gets to see you once per week then I would expect that she would get the most out of that time. Or include you AND her friends in the same plans. IMO if she wants to be using her time that she could be with you to do 'single girl things', then she may very well want to infact BE single. Unless of course these requests are only once in a blue-moon such IE: baby shower, bachelorette, etc. where it is a 'girls only' occassion. I'd give her space and lots of it.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted December 1, 2011 Posted December 1, 2011 ^ he mentioned that there's no time for her between work and night school, so that must be the reason why she is only free to do things on weekends. OP, maybe you could also try and do your own thing on weekends you don't get to see her and you could also go out with her and her friends so that you would feel comfortable with the situation.
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