chunkchew Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 [COLOR=#009933]cant believe im actually doing this. but my gf of 7 months just asked me for space after this weekend. we are long distance but see each other frequently. Everything has been going great and this came out of no where. She is a very independent woman, however, between work and night school she really doesnt have alot of time for her self and her friends and feels that she only sees me on the weekends and the times that we are together i have acted angry when she wanted to doo somthing that didnt include me. Ill give her that as there have been 2 or 3 occasions where i was frustrated and acted out. i care alot for her and she seems to as well. she would say that i was trying to punish her. the first couple of days after she told me i was pretty confused and not sure how to handle it. i understand where she is coming from now, but im curious if yall think she is over it? after she told me she wanted space i told her to think it over for a day or two to make sure that she still wanted to date? i gave her an out but she said that she wanted to be with me. i am working on my other issues that have bothered her and told her that i am going to give her space. i think she feels that she is loosing her self. any advice? [/COLOR]
Oxy Moronovich Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 She's interested in another dude. Whenever asks for space it means she's looking at some other dude. Start getting ready for a breakup, dude.
Author chunkchew Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 come on there has got to be a better answer
azsinglegal Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 She's not really committed to you or the relationship, IMO. What kind of space is she asking for? Not to see you ever? Not see you on the weekends? Using work and school is an excuse. If she was REALLY into you, she'd make time for you in her life.
Pfiend101 Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 Don't put yourself through any more pain. Asking for space is just what the others have said. The beginning of the end. I made the mistake once of giving someone space. To get crushed at the end. Don't go any further.
Author chunkchew Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 i understand where she is coming from because she really does go 8 am to 11 pm every night, i travel alot for work. she misses seeing her friends as a lot of her free time is spent on me. i am fine with this. i want her to see her friends and enjoy her self. im just curious if this is just the beginging of the end. she is used to being independent and has always enjoyed doing her own thing. i was fine with it at first, however, i made a big deal about it once or twice which i think has now come back to bite me in the ass.
Author chunkchew Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 She's not really committed to you or the relationship, IMO. What kind of space is she asking for? Not to see you ever? Not see you on the weekends? Using work and school is an excuse. If she was REALLY into you, she'd make time for you in her life. and no she does want to see me just wants me to respect her need to spend time with her friends.
azsinglegal Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 i understand where she is coming from because she really does go 8 am to 11 pm every night, i travel alot for work. she misses seeing her friends as a lot of her free time is spent on me. i am fine with this. i want her to see her friends and enjoy her self. im just curious if this is just the beginging of the end. she is used to being independent and has always enjoyed doing her own thing. i was fine with it at first, however, i made a big deal about it once or twice which i think has now come back to bite me in the ass. I think you answered your own question. Bow out now before she dumps you.
Author chunkchew Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 does every one really think that?
azsinglegal Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 does every one really think that? It doesn't matter what *we* think, what do YOU think? Someone asking for space can be a good or bad thing, but you're posing it as more of a negative thing. Like she wants time to herself and away from you. Maybe she's not sure if she wants to end it altogether, but if someone new came along she wouldn't kick him out? Only you are in the relationship and know what's going on. Listen to your gut. That will tell you what's going on. None of us here know you or your situation. We're guessing based on personal experience or how you're slanting your post. How about you take the novel approach and ASK her if this is a break or a break up?
Author chunkchew Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 she has told me that i was making a bigger deal out of this than it was. we are planning on seeing each other this weekend. so i guess that is a good sign
olivec Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 I think you need to just stay away for a bit. Because usually when a girl says she needs space shes really saying shes started to fall out of the relationship or shes becoming uninterested all together. I don't thats the case just yet for you but she is thinking whether or not she want to be with you long term which is why she asked for space to think about what she wants. Personally I'd say ok cool and limit your contact with her to bare mininum right now and show her your fine wwithout her. I don't think theres another guy right off but she may be feeling she wants to explore her options. Once a girl gets that in her head just stop dealing with her because the moment you push shes gone and it'll be even harder to get her back. Just play things very cool and keep yourself busy with friends and see how she reacts to the space you give her.
azsinglegal Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 she has told me that i was making a bigger deal out of this than it was. we are planning on seeing each other this weekend. so i guess that is a good sign Then what's the problem? I only see my man on the weekends. We both work a lot of hours and have busy lives during the week. I'm pretty happy with the arrangement cuz I like my private time and so does he. But again...it's not for everyone. Some people need more then that...where for me, I like things going slow as I've always rushed into things.
Author chunkchew Posted November 30, 2011 Author Posted November 30, 2011 that makes sense. i travel alot and im by myself so i have alot of time to over think things. im just going to stop contacting her and consider it done. hopefully shell come back around but im going to act like its over.
azsinglegal Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 that makes sense. i travel alot and im by myself so i have alot of time to over think things. im just going to stop contacting her and consider it done. hopefully shell come back around but im going to act like its over. Sounds like you need a hobby. I'll give you my standard advice, get that ass in the gym and run it off. There's nothing a good workout can't solve. I always feel better after some physical activity.
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